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Once you become a parent, every decision you make has to be viewed trough parent glasses and, no, you won't like all of the ones you need to make because you're a parent.
As a child of divorce, I wouldn't even consider having children at all with another spouse. It costs children from a previous spouse too much. There's nothing like looking at your mom and your step dad with their new baby and realizing they are a complete family unit without you and you no longer have a complete family.
To the child it's a series of losses. They lose dad, then they lose mom when they have to share her with her new husband and then they lose her more when they have to share her with new siblings. No, it's not good for children. Kids don't need mom to have new kids with a new husband. It makes them red headed step children.
Children lose their mother?! Why if mom has more children do they lose their mother? Did your oldest lose you when you had a second child? A child doesn't lose their parents when other children are born. The family simply expands. I certainly don't feel like I lost my mother whe nmy sister was born. There was simply another person to love.
What you WANT is not more important than what your existing child needs. There is nothing about rushing to have another baby with another father that is good for the child already here. It ceases to be about you and what you want when you have kids. Sometimes, it's about what's best for the children.
It should ALWAYS be about what is best for the children.
Actually, I think 'contempt' is more descriptive if they're popping out 2-3 children outside of any committed relationship. For their children almost inevitably wind up being dependent on the taxpayers for even the basic necessities, and are far more likely to remain mired in poverty themselves--which means that you and I wind up footing the bill for their own irresponsibililty. It's a self-perpetuating misery that causes endless grief to society. All because they were too trifling to head down to the free clinic and pick up birth control, which is practically given away like Halloween candy.
Why are women the only ones to blame when there are multiple fathers? It wouldn't be possible for there to be more than one father if men would step up, make a commitment and be true to that committment. So many men are so willing to say or do anything to get sex. They are even willing to pretend they want children in order to get a woman to let her guard down. Then when she becomes pregnant, he heads for the nearest exit.
Of course, if a woman says she won't have sex with a guy unless she's 1000% positive and wants to wait, then she won't have a relationship at all because, at least according to what I've read here on C-D, a woman who will not have sex early in the relationship won't have a relationship because the guy date her long enough for her to feel comfortable he won't run off if they become pregnant.
Why are women the only ones to blame when there are multiple fathers? It wouldn't be possible for there to be more than one father if men would step up, make a commitment and be true to that committment. So many men are so willing to say or do anything to get sex. They are even willing to pretend they want children in order to get a woman to let her guard down. Then when she becomes pregnant, he heads for the nearest exit.
Of course, if a woman says she won't have sex with a guy unless she's 1000% positive and wants to wait, then she won't have a relationship at all because, at least according to what I've read here on C-D, a woman who will not have sex early in the relationship won't have a relationship because the guy date her long enough for her to feel comfortable he won't run off if they become pregnant.
What's a girl to do?
Please... with modern birth control methods, it's possible to have sex without getting pregnant. These women with multiple baby daddies are obviously not using birth control on a regular basis, if at all. Or they aren't using it properly. And if these women are hoping to get married, getting pregnant isn't the way to getting a wedding band on their finger. If anything, these women are shamelessly trying to manipulate their boyfriends into marriage by getting pregnant. In this day and age, if a woman is indulging in premarital sex, it's mainly the woman's responsibility to use birth control and NOT get pregnant.
Making a baby doesn't mean the woman is entitled to marry the sperm donor. And a baby isn't some sort of magical relationship glue. These chronic baby mommas are complete idiots who don't have a clue about having good relationship.
Please... with modern birth control methods, it's possible to have sex without getting pregnant. These women with multiple baby daddies are obviously not using birth control on a regular basis, if at all. Or they aren't using it properly. And if these women are hoping to get married, getting pregnant isn't the way to getting a wedding band on their finger. If anything, these women are shamelessly trying to manipulate their boyfriends into marriage by getting pregnant. In this day and age, if a woman is indulging in premarital sex, it's mainly the woman's responsibility to use birth control and NOT get pregnant.
Making a baby doesn't mean the woman is entitled to marry the sperm donor. And a baby isn't some sort of magical relationship glue. These chronic baby mommas are complete idiots who don't have a clue about having good relationship.
Condoms are 86% effective. The pill is 99% effective. Abstinence is 100% effective but a dating death sentence. Men are just as responsible as women for children having more than one father. There are fathers with children who have more than one mother.
A man does not have to marry a woman to be a father to his child. The problem is men are allowed to walk away from the responsibility of parenthood. Regardles if the couple was dating or married. Women are stuck with the children. It takes TWO to make a baby. TWO people are responsible, not one. MEN need to be just as responsible for who they choose to have sex with. MEN are not stupid. They know when a woman is trying to trap them. They decide that they'll get the effort-free sex until she comes up pregers then he'll bounce. How responsible is that?
Why would I take pity on them? They were not victims(unless, of course they were raped) but willing participants.
I take pity on VICTIMS...TRUE VICTIMS not people who want to be.
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Why if mom has more children do they lose their mother? Did your oldest lose you when you had a second child? A child doesn't lose their parents when other children are born. The family simply expands. I certainly don't feel like I lost my mother whe nmy sister was born. There was simply another person to love.
It ceases to be about you and what you want when you have kids. Sometimes, it's about what's best for the children.
