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I don't think he's hiding something, or if he is it probably isn't that serious. Unless this guy is dumb, telling her he won't add her to facebook seems way too obvious he doesn't want her to see something. In that case, it's pretty easy to delete wall posts, friends, groups, applications, etc.
If the whole thing really bothers you, just tell him how you feel and why you feel that way. You've been dating for a year, so I think you should be able to talk about most anything.
I think my wife has a facebook accout. I'm not real sure. Nor do I care. I will never have anything to do with that site anyway. Point is...I trust my wife will handle herself in a professional manner in regards to that site...and it concerns me not. I'm completely happy just getting DM's from her right here on city-data!
You may not have this intention, but your "Look sweet cheeks! Look honey" comes off as condescending as all hell.
Any way, if my dh wouldn't add me as a friend on fb, or whatever, I would find that to be odd. I suppose everyone uses their accounts differently, but we use it to be in touch with friends, families and to stay current with whatever events we're attending. I cannot come up with one reason as to why a SO wouldn't want their partner to be a friend...any where. Providing the relationship is bringing happiness.
To the OP, obviously your SO wants to hide it from you. Perhaps you should just ask him why. There's probably a good reason and the information could lend to future decisions in your relationship. That's always a good thing.
Oh really? Referring someone as honey is insulting? My apologies, I would make a note of that in case I feel like responding to any of your posts. Good God!
You might have missed the part where she said that she rarely is on facebook. So if that is REALLY the case, why does she make such a big deal out of wanting him to add her onto his friends' list? Why can't she just add him herself?!?! It's called COMMON SENSE. You want something, you ask for it. You don't go whining about not getting it just because you don't speak up about it.
Geez, that's like how you would hear some women get pissed off because their hubbies/ boyfriends don't take them to their favorite restaurants, but fail to speak up about where they want to go. Last time I check, no person is a mind reader. If she wants to be on his friends' list, just go ahead and push that button that says "Add as a friend". Why wait until the OP's boyfriend "gets a clue" about adding her?
Also she mentioned earlier that she has "some" level of insecurities. I say that is the reason that leads up to her questioning why her BF "doesn't get the clue" about adding her. Either she trust the guy, or she doesn't.
Oh really? Referring someone as honey is insulting? My apologies, I would make a note of that in case I feel like responding to any of your posts. Good God!
Your post was snarky. If that gives you a giggle, so be it, but I fail to see the point of acting shocked at being called on it.
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You might have missed the part where she said that she rarely is on facebook. So if that is REALLY the case, why does she make such a big deal out of wanting him to add her onto his friends' list? Why can't she just add him herself?!?! It's called COMMON SENSE. You want something, you ask for it. You don't go whining about not getting it just because you don't speak up about it.
If you have read her posts, you'd see that they have discussed it, enough to get the message across that he won't add her, hence the thread. She doesn't want to bring it up AGAIN. And it's not she but... he doesn't log on much.
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Geez, that's like how you would hear some women get pissed off because their hubbies/ boyfriends don't take them to their favorite restaurants, but fail to speak up about where they want to go. Last time I check, no person is a mind reader. If she wants to be on his friends' list, just go ahead and push that button that says "Add as a friend". Why wait until the OP's boyfriend "gets a clue" about adding her?
Better question. Why don't you read the OP you responded to?
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Also she mentioned earlier that she has "some" level of insecurities. I say that is the reason that leads up to her questioning why her BF "doesn't get the clue" about adding her. Either she trust the guy, or she doesn't.
First off, who doesn't have insecurities? Her statement simply attests to the fact that she's an adult by noting the obvious. For the rest of your post...again, it's in the OP. Here, I'll quote for you.
"My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year, and he won't add me as a friend on Facebook. He's told me that he doesn't log on to Facebook very often and pretty much all the people who are on his friends list added him first and he doesn't talk to them. He has a private profile, however, so I can't see who his friends are or how often he uses the site. I have jokingly complained to him about not adding me because I didn't want to make a big deal about it, but it really hurts my feelings because it makes me think that he either doesn't think very much of me or doesn't want to publicly acknowledge our relationship to his friends. I've never sent him a friend request because I don't want to be rejected by MY OWN BOYFRIEND, but he knows that I would gladly accept if he sent one to me. I understand that social networking sites have the potential to cause drama in relationships, so that's why I haven't really pushed the issue, but am I wrong to feel even somewhat slighted by this??"
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year, and he won't add me as a friend on Facebook. He's told me that he doesn't log on to Facebook very often and pretty much all the people who are on his friends list added him first and he doesn't talk to them. He has a private profile, however, so I can't see who his friends are or how often he uses the site. I have jokingly complained to him about not adding me because I didn't want to make a big deal about it, but it really hurts my feelings because it makes me think that he either doesn't think very much of me or doesn't want to publicly acknowledge our relationship to his friends. I've never sent him a friend request because I don't want to be rejected by MY OWN BOYFRIEND, but he knows that I would gladly accept if he sent one to me. I understand that social networking sites have the potential to cause drama in relationships, so that's why I haven't really pushed the issue, but am I wrong to feel even somewhat slighted by this??
Well, sounds like your boyfriend has some secret things he doesn't wan't you to know about. Most likely another girlfriend. My advice, install a keylogger to your computer and make him log in with it. Remember to be very subtle with it, so he doesn't suspect anything. That way, you'll get his ID and password, and you'll find out who she is.
Your post was snarky. If that gives you a giggle, so be it, but I fail to see the point of acting shocked at being called on it.
If you have read her posts, you'd see that they have discussed it, enough to get the message across that he won't add her, hence the thread. She doesn't want to bring it up AGAIN. And it's not she but... he doesn't log on much.
Better question. Why do you read the OP you respond to?
First off, who doesn't have insecurities? Her statement simply attests to the fact that she's an adult by noting the obvious. For the rest of your post...again, it's in the OP. Here, I'll quote for you.
"My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year, and he won't add me as a friend on Facebook. He's told me that he doesn't log on to Facebook very often and pretty much all the people who are on his friends list added him first and he doesn't talk to them. He has a private profile, however, so I can't see who his friends are or how often he uses the site. I have jokingly complained to him about not adding me because I didn't want to make a big deal about it, but it really hurts my feelings because it makes me think that he either doesn't think very much of me or doesn't want to publicly acknowledge our relationship to his friends. I've never sent him a friend request because I don't want to be rejected by MY OWN BOYFRIEND, but he knows that I would gladly accept if he sent one to me. I understand that social networking sites have the potential to cause drama in relationships, so that's why I haven't really pushed the issue, but am I wrong to feel even somewhat slighted by this??"
Ok, on to your questions:
Why did I respond to this thread? Because it's FUNNY. I mean, come on! Seriously! Are our lives being replaced by the virtual world of facebook, to the point that (gasp!) we have to add every single person that we know to facebook (if they happen to have facebook as well)?
Also, you asked: who doesn't have insecurities? Wow, what a question you posted! Ok, maybe it's just me, but I married my hubby knowing that I have none. So, if YOU, BRAUWN, still have any insecurity over whoever you're with, that's your problem. But do keep in mind, that insecurity should not linger in any relationship.
So, to those that are STILL with someone that gives you ANY level of insecurity, I give you sympathy, and I pray that those insecurities will go away. No person deserves to be in a relationship where insecurities live.
Perfect. I can go take a leak now. Don't have to hold that anxiety any longer
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's gonna happen.
I have known and heard many of my friends/people going through an entire ordeal of breaking facebook friendship once the romance goes haywire.
It's a big dirty work of untagging people, deleting photos and asking the other side erase the messages. It's a waste of time and only adds fuel to fire. I know some girls who were crying in the act of performing this.
If you are into a site, you should be able to use it for another 30 years without hard feelings
On the other hand, they can add wives/husbands. The drama is less there.
Oh really? Referring someone as honey is insulting? My apologies, I would make a note of that in case I feel like responding to any of your posts. Good God!
Yes, sweetie, you've been condescending to me in all your posts in this thread, but I'm not really worried about it because I knew some people would think that I'm being petty/childish/immature about this, and that's fine.
Once again, I'm not insecure about him simply having a private Facebook profile or doing things behind my back, but I do often wonder how he feels about me and our relationship. You're right that Facebook isn't my main issue with him, but his refusal to add me along with other things make me question how he really feels about me.
So anyways, OP, to your question, yes, I think you're a bit overreacting over him not adding you. Have you ever tried BEING DIRECT with him? Seriously, ask him this:
"Hey my love, can you add me to your facebook?"
If your BF says no, in any way, then ask him, "well why not?"
Asking direct questions will give you peace of mind faster -- not that facebook issue is the only thing that would cause you any drama.
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