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I read somewhere that social networking sites can often cause a lot of drama in relationships. I believe this is true; a few years back I dated a guy, and any insecurity I had about our relationship was magnified ten times over when I became his friend on myspace.
Fast forward to now. I've been dating a guy for a little over two months and we recently agreed to date each other exclusively. I have gone back and forth about this whole myspace/facebook and dating issue. I have decided for my OWN personal comfort level not to add him as my friend on either site. At this point in time, I do think that he is exclusive to me, but I want him to feel like I don't need to know every intricate detail of his life (which I don't).
I also believe that dating and social networking sites have the potential to cause a LOT of drama, especially because he and I have a lot of mutual friends. This is also another reason why I decided we don't need to be "facebook friends". My profile does have that I am "in a relationship", but I haven't disclosed his name. I took a picture with him on a trip recently, and the number of comments I received from others was amazing. I could only imagine the kind of "drama" us being friends on facebook and the whole "in a relationship with _________" might spark, or if we were having some sort of relationship related issue, or when/if we break up and facebook announces it to the world (why is that even necessary?).
i had a g/f that questioned every person i have on myspace/f.b.
i had nothing to hide. she was just paranoid
and it got old explaining friends, co-workers, and whoever else on there for what ever reason
one time i got yelled at for a girl i had on myspace
"who is that bla bla bla"
its my cousin you idiot
you met her at thannksgiving dinner
I read somewhere that social networking sites can often cause a lot of drama in relationships. I believe this is true; a few years back I dated a guy, and any insecurity I had about our relationship was magnified ten times over when I became his friend on myspace.
Fast forward to now. I've been dating a guy for a little over two months and we recently agreed to date each other exclusively. I have gone back and forth about this whole myspace/facebook and dating issue. I have decided for my OWN personal comfort level not to add him as my friend on either site. At this point in time, I do think that he is exclusive to me, but I want him to feel like I don't need to know every intricate detail of his life (which I don't).
I also believe that dating and social networking sites have the potential to cause a LOT of drama, especially because he and I have a lot of mutual friends. This is also another reason why I decided we don't need to be "facebook friends". My profile does have that I am "in a relationship", but I haven't disclosed his name. I took a picture with him on a trip recently, and the number of comments I received from others was amazing. I could only imagine the kind of "drama" us being friends on facebook and the whole "in a relationship with _________" might spark, or if we were having some sort of relationship related issue, or when/if we break up and facebook announces it to the world (why is that even necessary?).
Bottom line: facebook + dating = bad business
well, if the person your with, is insecure, they are going to have a problem with it....which should be a big big flag...I could never be smothered like that...
While I'm very open on here, I'm also a very privet person in real life...and to be honest....I believe the OP is over reacting...and if two people break up, I would hope that they would both be very mature about it...
I used to have a myspace thing on an old email acct (which is now shut down) and had no friends on there. Many invites, but never accepted.
Some cases, they might have something to hide if its set to private. Other times, they just legitimately are on there for the heck of it and dont want to be slammed with nonsense messages and spam. But agreed, if he has nothing to hide, why is it set to private. Heck I dont know, I dont have/want facebook.
He's told me that he doesn't log on to Facebook very often and pretty much all the people who are on his friends list added him first and he doesn't talk to them.
I tell this to women when I don't want them to know I'm shopping around behind their back
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,309 posts, read 38,808,548 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BangBangShrimp
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year, and he won't add me as a friend on Facebook. He's told me that he doesn't log on to Facebook very often and pretty much all the people who are on his friends list added him first and he doesn't talk to them. He has a private profile, however, so I can't see who his friends are or how often he uses the site. I have jokingly complained to him about not adding me because I didn't want to make a big deal about it, but it really hurts my feelings because it makes me think that he either doesn't think very much of me or doesn't want to publicly acknowledge our relationship to his friends. I've never sent him a friend request because I don't want to be rejected by MY OWN BOYFRIEND, but he knows that I would gladly accept if he sent one to me. I understand that social networking sites have the potential to cause drama in relationships, so that's why I haven't really pushed the issue, but am I wrong to feel even somewhat slighted by this??
I think the OP is right for feeling concerned and hurt. If it were my wife or girlfriend who refused to add me as a friend I'd have to question what it is she has to hide. Luckily I don't participate in these online networking sites and it's a non-issue, but I can see how it can become one.
A friend of mine had a similar problem. He wouldn't add his own wife because he didn't want her to see some of his former girlfriends who were "friends" of his on Facebook. She made a legitimate gripe and he eventually added her. He had to delete a bunch of comments first.
I don't think it's worth jeopardizing a relationship over some "friend" who lives hundreds of miles away and you haven't seen for several years.
I read somewhere that social networking sites can often cause a lot of drama in relationships. I believe this is true; a few years back I dated a guy, and any insecurity I had about our relationship was magnified ten times over when I became his friend on myspace.
Fast forward to now. I've been dating a guy for a little over two months and we recently agreed to date each other exclusively. I have gone back and forth about this whole myspace/facebook and dating issue. I have decided for my OWN personal comfort level not to add him as my friend on either site. At this point in time, I do think that he is exclusive to me, but I want him to feel like I don't need to know every intricate detail of his life (which I don't).
I also believe that dating and social networking sites have the potential to cause a LOT of drama, especially because he and I have a lot of mutual friends. This is also another reason why I decided we don't need to be "facebook friends". My profile does have that I am "in a relationship", but I haven't disclosed his name. I took a picture with him on a trip recently, and the number of comments I received from others was amazing. I could only imagine the kind of "drama" us being friends on facebook and the whole "in a relationship with _________" might spark, or if we were having some sort of relationship related issue, or when/if we break up and facebook announces it to the world (why is that even necessary?).
My profile does have that I am "in a relationship", but I haven't disclosed his name.
Mine says neither single nor in a relationship - I just leave it blank, and it's anyone's guess.
When I date someone and don't change it, they don't care, because at least it doesn't say I'm single.
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