Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My wife wants to divorce me. She dropped the bomb two days ago. I am overwhelmed with emotions. I just want to know something I can do when I get lonely and want to reach out to her. I have been relying on my friends and family. I just want help for when I sit at work and think about her and miss her.
My heart is torn out of my chest.
I don't really know what else to say. I just want some encouraging words...people say it will get better but I feel like it won't...
Sorry Bro.
I feel for you. I hope you can go to the gym or something to burn off some frustration.
I'd guess it would be easy to get an annulment of the marriage. It sounds like you may have rushed into the marriage because of the vote and maybe your partner wasn't ready for it. Which of the two of you pushed harder for the marriage? I'm guessing you did, so you feel worse about it. You probably feel even worse because if you do end the marriage and get back together again, you won't be able to get married again, at least in California.
As for missing her, you're no different from anyone else who get blindsided by their spouse. The only difference is that there are a few additional factors involved in your relationship. Others here have been in break ups and I believe they survived it, so should you.
Location: Greater Los Angeles area (unfortunately)
177 posts, read 757,691 times
Reputation: 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by akck
I'd guess it would be easy to get an annulment of the marriage. It sounds like you may have rushed into the marriage because of the vote and maybe your partner wasn't ready for it. Which of the two of you pushed harder for the marriage? I'm guessing you did, so you feel worse about it. You probably feel even worse because if you do end the marriage and get back together again, you won't be able to get married again, at least in California.
As for missing her, you're no different from anyone else who get blindsided by their spouse. The only difference is that there are a few additional factors involved in your relationship. Others here have been in break ups and I believe they survived it, so should you.
Thank you for this sensitive post! You are pretty much correct with your assessment. We were originally planning a wedding in 2010 but moved it up a year when we heard about the planned propositions. Both of us seemed on the same page at the time and decided to forego a more expensive wedding because of it. It was a mutual decision.
That thought about not getting married again definitely crossed my mind, and saddens me deeply. I am thankful that at least the option of a domestic partnership still exists in CA, but it's a bad situation to fight so hard for something and have your wife disregard it entirely.
You need to do what is best for you! Counseling I think is the best first step. You need healing time and someone who is neutral to talk to. I knew someone who went by themselves to counseling and there soon to be ex noticed something different about her and he ended up after months of being separated that he was going to step in and go to counseling and now they have been married for 9 years. Even though that isn't always the case you need to do whatever it is that is going to make you happy. You will be in my prayers.
I can tell you it will get better. My wife dropped the bomb on me about a month ago. Offered marriage counceling but she didn't want it. 6 years together and married for 11 months. Took a good 2 weeks before I could have a clear thought. But the best advice I can give you is stay very busy. My anniversary was this weekend and hardly thought about her because I've been spending time with friends/family constantly and when they aren't around I go somewhere that's open 24 hours a day and hang out until I'm ready to sleep. I spend a good hour thinking in the morning and even those thoughts are getting better. It was only how I'm missing her and I just want her back but not it's more about the good times we had and how I can see getting past this. I don't spend all day wanting to call her anymore (still the thought comes up every now and again). It's not fun and I wouldn't wish it on anyone but it gets better.
One good thing is to talk to anyone you know who's been divorced. I know people who have gotten divorced and have gotten past it, some that are stuck, and some that are still working on dealing with things. Get advice from them and the day you realize you will get past it and she's not the only woman it will be better. Be prepared for an emotional roller coaster though I had a cousins kid ask where she was today and I almost broke down. Its sad when a marriage ends especially out of the blue and if you believe marriage is for life. If you've tried everything to fix it but she's not into it there is nothing you can do no matter how much you want to. So just stay around friends/family and don't talk to her because everytime you do it will set you back.
My wife wants to divorce me. She dropped the bomb two days ago. I am overwhelmed with emotions. I just want to know something I can do when I get lonely and want to reach out to her. I have been relying on my friends and family. I just want help for when I sit at work and think about her and miss her.
My heart is torn out of my chest.
I don't really know what else to say. I just want some encouraging words...people say it will get better but I feel like it won't...
AAaaWWW Sorry to hear that I know it must be so painful and your hurting so much right now but it will get better eventually. You have to let this pass first then it will get a little easier after You will be fine again soon enough once you get all the hurt out of your sytem.
It's normal to do some mourning then afterwards you can restart your life again on a happier note
The only differences here is that you don't have as much opportunity to bash women. Beyond that, I fail to see why orientation matters.
There's NO hatred coming from me at all, I want to get that straight NOW!
I don't bash females, I only state what's going on even though it may sound like an horrid tone.
I'm not saying that Men are perfect either, but when it comes to a divorce between a Man and female that's where I state things that Men get the shaft most of the time no matter what and even if he's 1000% in the right.
I don't know how the courts will handle this same-sex marriage so hence my response. Remember all of the posters prior to the OP telling us about her marriage arrangement answered to the Man/Woman arrangement.
You may not like what's said by me, but I will not just say what many want to hear either which won't be factual.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You will be fine again soon enough once you get all the hurt out of your sytem.
The only differences here is that you don't have as much opportunity to bash women. Beyond that, I fail to see why orientation matters.
