Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
About a year ago my wife cheated on me. I wasnt giving her the attentiona and emotional support she needed. I was very focused on work and the kids (we have three). The affair was very breif and we are working thru it. I try not to press for too many of her deep feelings but I have forgiven her but I often wonder what does she feel. Guilt? Shame? Excitement she pulled it off (i dont think so).
Any thoughts?
Last edited by 2goldens; 09-01-2009 at 07:09 AM..
Reason: Moved from Other Topics
Location: miami, fla. enjoying the relative cool, for now ;)
1,085 posts, read 2,530,519 times
Reputation: 1063
I would be gone from there so fast that I wouldn't even leave dust. kids and all, who needs a person like that? a person who does not honor their oaths is worthless and no excuse they may offer changes that. I would maintain a cordial, respectful working relationship but I could not abide with her at all. she did not keep up her end of the bargain and that wussified crap about one not paying enough attention is effeminate emasculated american sheman psychobabble. buck up and move on.
I would be gone from there so fast that I wouldn't even leave dust. kids and all, who needs a person like that? a person who does not honor their oaths is worthless and no excuse they may offer changes that. I would maintain a cordial, respectful working relationship but I could not abide with her at all. she did not keep up her end of the bargain and that wussified crap about one not paying enough attention is effeminate emasculated american sheman psychobabble. buck up and move on.
dadeguy, you know I love ya, but really, many marriages DO survive affairs and actually go on to be even stronger, better marriages.
Of course, you think you know how you would react given the same situation, but until you are in that situation you really don't know how you'd react. This man has chosen for some good reasons (3 kids who need an intact family) to forgive him wife and try to get past the pain - please don't add to his heartache and insult him by telling him he's "emasculated" and "wussified".
Location: miami, fla. enjoying the relative cool, for now ;)
1,085 posts, read 2,530,519 times
Reputation: 1063
we men are all emasculated. the current culture and social climate has dictated this to be so. it began in the school system where little boys are no longer allowed to sort out how to properly interact with their male peers. instead feminine qualities are encouraged while healthy male one are not only discouraged but in fact are punishable offenses.
in our public school system here boys no longer play football, softball and basketball but practice jump roping and tinikelling instead.
gone are the days of "I'll meet you by the flagpole at 3:30" to settle differences between the boys and the results are the current american male.
while there is no doubt that some marriages do survive infidelity my opinion is that inspite of how much I love my bride I would march directly from her life and into a new one for myself. I would never be able to believe her again and I could not live that way.
if the OP is somehow offended then I say I was not being purposely offensive, that is not what I intended in that response but as a caveat will say to him that if you don't want answers then don't ask questions.
if I put something out here then I have to be able to deal with the responses from varied perspectives and cultural differences.
we men are all emasculated. the current culture and social climate has dictated this to be so. it began in the school system where little boys are no longer allowed to sort out how to properly interact with their male peers. instead feminine qualities are encouraged while healthy male one are not only discouraged but in fact are punishable offenses.
in our public school system here boys no longer play football, softball and basketball but practice jump roping and tinikelling instead.
gone are the days of "I'll meet you by the flagpole at 3:30" to settle differences between the boys and the results are the current american male.
Oh please. So learning to settle your differences by talking it out rather than punching each other senseless is feminine? Grow up. Guys who think like this grow up to be the most insecure people, the ones who have to overcompensate for fear of not coming across as manly enough.
BTW, the reason schools are cutting back on things like football and basketball has more to do with lawsuits and obesity. Kids who get injured playing football have parents who sue the school. And a lot of kids who play team sports never get the ball because some kids hog it. Jump roping may seem silly to you, but at least it forces all kids to exercise, something today's overweight kids really need.
I would be gone from there so fast that I wouldn't even leave dust. kids and all, who needs a person like that? a person who does not honor their oaths is worthless and no excuse they may offer changes that. I would maintain a cordial, respectful working relationship but I could not abide with her at all. she did not keep up her end of the bargain and that wussified crap about one not paying enough attention is effeminate emasculated american sheman psychobabble. buck up and move on.
we men are all emasculated....[BLAH, BLAH, BLAH]...if I put something out here then I have to be able to deal with the responses from varied perspectives and cultural differences.
What a bunch of troglodyte drivel that does nothing to answer the OP's question!
Triguy, I agree with others that it seems you need some counseling to help you get past your feelings. You say you have forgiven, but it sure sounds like you've got a lot of feelings, etc. stuff that you need to work through.
i dont know...infidelity is hard to forgive....its hard to trust afterwards
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
