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Most men are naturally controlling, those that are not are likely to be low and the social ladder. Women are naturally attracted to the alpha-male... I guess it is a 2-way street.
A dominant person isn't always domineering. Dominant behavior can indicate leadership, or decision making. If a mate is too timid, someone has to be more dominant, or they could find themselves sitting around all day staring a hole in the wall. Domineering mates would generally try force the issue, even if the mate balked. Bossy mates can boss, but no one has to budge if they don't want to. Who wants to live with a human bulldozer ?
Or a brick wall. Some people are obstinate, just to be obstinate.
You hit on a key point. A lot has to do with a girl's father, the father is the man who teaches her how she should be treated, what she should expect for herself. The father is the first man in her life and sets the tone for her following relationships.
My sister is in one of these bad relationships, and she and I and our other sister grew up in the same house with the same parents giving the same support and respect. My dad always says to me that he can't understand how P can put up with her jerko husband when our other sister and I would have kicked him to the curb years ago.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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I guess it depends on how you define controlling as opposed to the take-charge types. Maybe there's a fine line but I like take-charge men who know how to compromise when necessary.
Beats me. I've seen some marriages so awful that my wife and I wonder why she sticks around. I mean, don't you think life's way too short to be stuck in a marriage where you're not respected?
Personally I would think, at the very least, physical abuse, followed by mental abuse, should be reasons to immediately pack the car and drive away, never to look back.
My daughter is fourteen. And I've already had talks with her about what kinds of boys are out there. I've advised her that if a boy doesn't make her feel good about herself, then she should walk away. I've advised her that if a boy doesn't respect her wishes, then she should walk away. I've advised her that no boy should tell her how to think, dress, or behave. I've advised her that she has extraordinary value in this world, and she should be liked for who she is, not what some neanderthal thinks he can shape her into.
Also, I told her that if some boy, when picking her up, honks for her in the driveway, he can sit there all night. He's picking up my daughter. Not a pizza.
I wish there were more fathers like you in this world
My father always had chats with me and he always said: "I am talking to you as a man, and as a friend" and gave all the advice you gave your daughter. It was good advice the problem lies on when I chose not to take it
Getting back to the topic...
I believe that women are partly responsible for been abused. I am not saying it is their fault that they are abused, I am saying they are responsible for not putting a stop to it the first time it happened, and I am specially disgusted with women that put their children through this kind of situations.
Most men are naturally controlling, those that are not are likely to be low and the social ladder. Women are naturally attracted to the alpha-male... I guess it is a 2-way street.
I believe the men that are controlling is because they are raised like that. They aren't really controlling, because nobody is controlling really. If they are raised in a certain way then that's how the person will be.
I was raised by an Alpha female who had multiple relationships with weak men. She would just chew them up and spit them out it seemed... Seduce them and then once they were under her spell she would totally dominate and control them. I swore I never wanted to become like her... I married someone I thought was safe and it turns out I did become the Alpha on our relationship... He had no backbone and I was the one who wore the pants in the relationship. It drove me crazy because that is not what I thought I was getting, but lo and behold we repeated history. I have been learning alot about co-dependant relationships as I am trying to heal and understand how I got here...
So here is my new dilemma... I want to find a strong man... I am even attracted to someone now who is a dominant male... But now there is this struggle. I am affraid of swinging too far to the other side and having a man try to totally control me. I am a strong successful woman. I have had to be the strong one for so long and this other guy is trying to assert himself as being in control.. In a playful way but I totally feel it as well, and it is all new for me. I do not know how to gain a balance of power... I can't give away all the power nor do I think it's healthy to do so. I am not used to dealing with a dominant man though I know that is what I want. How do I know if he is healthy dominant and not Freak Dominant?
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