My date tonight with the almost 400lb man (difference, attract, overweight)
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I could never be intimate with someone grossly overweight. I dated someone briefly from Christian Mingle a few years after being widowed and while he had a great personality I just couldn't imagine myself having sex with someone who weighed 360 pounds especially since I am quite petite.
I had another OLD who claimed he "needs to lose a few". He didn't mention he needed to lose a few hundred. He had to weigh over 400 pounds and while it sounds shallow (and I don't care if it does) I was embarrassed to be seen with him. His personality sucked also so it was a no brainer for me.
Last edited by chiluvr1228; 03-10-2018 at 09:14 AM..
Reason: spelling
I did date an - I guess 300lbs guy - but he was working in construction, so he was very fit. Fitter than me, actually.
Unfortunately, in our time together, he did not lose weight but I did gain weight. It is hard for me to eat an apple only when he eats fast food all day long and rejects all my offered healthy food.
You could say - good for him to be fit - but I foresee diabetes, clogged arteries and a short life expectancy and whatever else nasty food causes. We had a long talk ... and then parted ways. I never thought food can be such an important part of a relationship.
I used to date (off and on) a guy who weighed somewhere between 300 and 400 pounds. I was CRAZY about him. He...not so much about me. I WOULD'VE had sex with him...I made that pretty clear to him, and we had some heavy make out sessions....but oh well.
To me, I don't see the point of dating ANYONE, if you're going to be worried about being seen with someone, and you're worried about what people will think of YOU for dating that person.
This is no different than the guy who's worried about his new girlfriend being bigger than a twig like his late wife.
If you can't love the whole package, and can't be proud to be seen with the person, than you shouldn't be together.
To me it would be the attitude more than anything else. A person who doesn't really, legitimately want to address whatever is causing that degree of overeating likely has other extenuating...stuff. If that sounds narrow, I'm sorry, but realistically, just "liking food" but otherwise being quite happy and well-adjusted does not routinely result in 400 pounds of person.
And although everyone has his/her issues, eating seems to be SO emotional for so many people that it could be a much larger problem over time.
Meanwhile, literally the problem can get larger: people tend to continue to gain. Some people will be overweight and just stay at that basic state of overweight but when you see someone getting into the super-sizes, obviously the person HAS incrementally gained over a period of time and generally that doesn't suddenly halt because the needle hit the scale at 400 or something.
It would also be really difficult to love someone who was killing himself.
To me it would be the attitude more than anything else. A person who doesn't really, legitimately want to address whatever is causing that degree of overeating likely has other extenuating...stuff. If that sounds narrow, I'm sorry, but realistically, just "liking food" but otherwise being quite happy and well-adjusted does not routinely result in 400 pounds of person.
And although everyone has his/her issues, eating seems to be SO emotional for so many people that it could be a much larger problem over time.
Meanwhile, literally the problem can get larger: people tend to continue to gain. Some people will be overweight and just stay at that basic state of overweight but when you see someone getting into the super-sizes, obviously the person HAS incrementally gained over a period of time and generally that doesn't suddenly halt because the needle hit the scale at 400 or something.
It would also be really difficult to love someone who was killing himself.
I don't know. The guy I dated was 34. Whole family obese. He grew up eating bad but works in construction and stayed in shape by working hard physically.
Eats at Dennys every morning before work. Donuts during break. Fast food for lunch. Fast food on the way home from work or delivery pizza. Chips and popcorn while watching tv and only drinks soda - water tastes boring.
When he hit his 30s, he was out of work because of an injury. Kept eating the like he still works. Packed on about 60lbs. Went back to work and kept the weight on.
His excuse for eating horribly "I work a high risk job, so why eat healthy? My parents are big, but they are happy. Life is too short to not eat what you want."
I don't know. The guy I dated was 34. Whole family obese. He grew up eating bad but works in construction and stayed in shape by working hard physically.
Eats at Dennys every morning before work. Donuts during break. Fast food for lunch. Fast food on the way home from work or delivery pizza. Chips and popcorn while watching tv and only drinks soda - water tastes boring.
When he hit his 30s, he was out of work because of an injury. Kept eating the like he still works. Packed on about 60lbs. Went back to work and kept the weight on.
His excuse for eating horribly "I work a high risk job, so why eat healthy? My parents are big, but they are happy. Life is too short to not eat what you want."
Yeah, to be frank, this option isn't any more appealing to me. "Meh, life's short, eat whatever" with a whole family tradition behind the mindset...I'm just being honest here, I'm still really not convinced. Nor am I convinced that an entire family doesn't have a certain dynamic or issues that make stuffing food in, the go-to for whatever comes up, good or bad. I am just not finding any of this appealing, for me. It might be fine for the next person but I was weighing in with my own POV, and what I have seen and heard.
The guy I was dating had diabetes, and I think probably ate the way he did (a lot of junk) because he was a divorced dad, unhappily single, missing his kids.
Then, he met his wife, and I guess with her help, probably dropped 150lbs. (I wasted so much time on this guy. LOL) Clearly, I wasn't the one for him. LOL
Yeah, to be frank, this option isn't any more appealing to me. "Meh, life's short, eat whatever" with a whole family tradition behind the mindset...I'm just being honest here, I'm still really not convinced. Nor am I convinced that an entire family doesn't have a certain dynamic or issues that make stuffing food in, the go-to for whatever comes up, good or bad. I am just not finding any of this appealing, for me. It might be fine for the next person but I was weighing in with my own POV, and what I have seen and heard.
Hispanic family. They are almost all overweight by the time they hit their 40s, the latest. At least in my area.
if I was in my 20s I wouldn't care. But now I think further. This guy is 34 and he will steadily gain weight and even if not - he'll have diabetes, and high blood pressure and whatever else. Will take pills rather sooner than later, his already low sex drive will go even lower, his "tool" is even more difficult to find under the belly and he'll won't grow old with me because his body will give up or partially give up and I am gonna be taking care of someone who just didn't give a crap. NO thanks.
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"Meh, life's short, eat whatever" with a whole family tradition behind the mindset...I'm just being honest here, I'm still really not convinced. Nor am I convinced that an entire family doesn't have a certain dynamic or issues that make stuffing food in, the go-to for whatever comes up, good or bad. I am just not finding any of this appealing, for me. It might be fine for the next person but I was weighing in with my own POV, and what I have seen and heard.
