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If you want to be happy, you have to realize that you don't have to be with someone to be happy. Nobody is going to make you happy, nobody is going to take away your loneliness. You have to do that for yourself.
I agree that you can learn to enjoy time being alone and learn to love yourself. And I agree that nobody will make you happy.
BUT..
I do not believe that you can be "happy" being alone. Sure, you can like being alone more than being with people you do not like or enjoy talking to including relatives and some friends..
But I believe that Happiness can not be achieved or realized by yourself, alone.
That is such a true statement. Think of times when something happened to you that was very good news. Like, did you get a raise at work? Did you get a promotion? Did you watch a very funny movie by yourself? Did you win a TV in a raffle? Etc...
Sure, those things are great news for yourself when they first come into existence.. but you do not really feel happy about them until you share their existence with people you love.
A really good example is of this man who golfs a decent amount, lets call him John. John has been playing for 17 years at that and most the time with friends and co-workers. This particular day, he had a strong desire to golf, but nobody else could join him.. He decided to hit the links anyways because he enjoys playing a lot more than staying home. After two and a half hours of play, he got to hole 15 on the back side, a par 3, 167 yards, slight breeze from the right. He takes out his 6 iron, takes his normal practice swing, lines up to the ball, waggles the club head one time, and gracefully swings the club and body following through effortlessly.. He knows he hit a solid shot, it's just up to the ball's destiny from here. He glances forward and sees the breeze guiding the ball towards the pin, he's hoping for a tap in birdie. The ball lands on the green and rolls for about three seconds in the forward left direction towards the cup, and John loses sight of the ball, he realizes that after all 17 years of playing, he has finally been blessed with a hole-in-one, something he has always dreamed about. He jumps up and down, with a huge smile on his face, he yells that he got a hole-in-one and looks around to see if anyone else saw it.. There was no one else in sight. John was still excited grant it.. but he wanted to share this excitement he felt with his golfing friends, wife, and others.
On the way in, finishing up on the remaining holes, John thought about how it really wasn't a big deal that he got a hole in one, if he had no one to share the experience with. Sure, he knows he got the hole in one, something that a lot of golfers never get their entire lives, but if none of the people he cared for were there while it happened what was the point he thought to himself. While walking up the fairway towards the 18th green, John realized that getting a hole in one, in itself, does not create happiness. John thought to himself - I can only feel happiness when I share my joy with the people I love. And it's so much better when they are there to experience it with me.
Last edited by ManGoneADreamin; 11-18-2009 at 03:07 AM..
I don't see how you're helping the OP. He simply wants companionship, what is wrong in that?
I think the key here is not to actively seeking out an SO. let it happen naturally. do what makes you happy and meet people in the process. but don't meet women with the intention of wanting to date them.
this way, you become happier and you are more attractive to the opposite sex.
Be Yourself ,please do not try to be a people pleaser.In time you will see that if you had to change to be with some one they are not worth being with.I think above all women respect honesty in a man and that is a quality that is hard to find. It is important that people see you for who you are not who they want you to be. If you want to meet quality people go to quality functions !
Good Luck !
I agree that you can learn to enjoy time being alone and learn to love yourself. And I agree that nobody will make you happy.
BUT..
I do not believe that you can be "happy" being alone. Sure, you can like being alone more than being with people you do not like or enjoy talking to including relatives and some friends..
But I believe that Happiness can not be achieved or realized by yourself, alone.
You're right.. I should rewrite my statement:
If you want to be happy, you have to realize that you don't have to be with someone romantically to be happy. Nobody is going to make you happy, nobody is going to take away your loneliness. You have to do that for yourself. It's up to you to go out and meet people and to live life. Nobody can do that but you..
i can relate im 29 never been in a serious relationship and would love female companionship or women to show interest in me on that level and its hard becasue basically all my friends are married ot getitng married so i have really no vneues to meet single women but beign single doesnt mean you have to be depressd or lonely..
I see my friends every weekend and even though theyre couples i get comapanionship and effection from them and can talk to them about any problem i have..I lvoe them and im sure they care for me
So while id love to have female companionship soon im not gonna hang myself while im single..Lifes too short to be depressed..
In that situation don't let your emotion control you, let your mind the knowledge and truth do lead your path. You certainly need someone who can think positive to give you some encouragements.
Take up a bunch of hobbies. I have a zillion things that I like do. I play in a hockey league, I paint, play guitar, read, go to concerts, etc... Learn to be an independent person first and foremost, and everything else will fall into place.
I can really relate to you, except my loneliness is regarding a lack of platonic friends. I'm married but my hubby isn't available much--work, his own activities, etc. I feel lonely and sad a lot because I don't really have any friends. I haven't figured out how to deal with this, either, but I was reading through the list of suggestions on this thread and I think a lot of them oversimplify the problem.
My advice to you would be to find an activity you think you'd enjoy that would involve socializing as part of it. For example, joining a book club, etc. where you could do an activity and be around people at the same time. Also consider online dating and speed dating, etc. I know how hard loneliness can be. I sit around the house on the weekends or go out by myself because I have no one to do things with, as my husband is either working or busy with his own activities.
imho dont post on CDF my gosh they will smell the blood in the water .
Tried to rep you, Huck, but couldn't. So true!
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You're right.. I should rewrite my statement:
Reps to ya for that..
