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I understand that girls think loneliness and desperation is unattractive in a man. But it's so hard to not be when you've been single for several months and only have been on one date that didn't go anywhere.
Work and friends don't help. At the end of the day, you still want to spend some quality time with a girl.
I never understood how women can just "sniff it" on a guy, but as ashamed I am to admit, I am lonely. I am desperate. I feel depressed, inadequate and unwanted that I haven't dated in so long.
But the next opportunity I have to really talk to and chat with a girl (whenever that may be) I don't want it to show.
Pretend you are happy. I really mean it - smile, laugh and be very cheerful. Be positive. Act like you are happy when someone says they had a great date last night - say great, "I'm happy for you!"
Next take time every morning, afternoon and evening to consider how lucky you are and what you have to be happy about. (i.e. a nice home, good family, a job, food, your health, a friend, etc.) The old saying count your blessings truly works. Consider how lucky you are and take stock in the good things of your life.
Trust me, this works. It's as if you have to re-train your mind. Don't focus on the bad things - train your brian to think on the good.
Use this time of being single to "get ready" for the next stage of your life. If you need to do a little work at home (clean out the closets, paint the living room, etc.), do it. Make good use of your time. Get ready to welcome the next step of your life.
You will not attract anyone if you are sad and lonely. When you act happy - you will start to be happy.
Hang in there - this will pass. But you are responsible for your own happiness - so take charge!!
Best wishes!!
I find that people can fake it for a while, but it will come out, usually in a very unflattering way. It will scare people off. Anyone who sticks around has serious issues of their own.
Do yourself and them a favor. Work on your depression before you go getting involved with anyone. Why pretend and deceive when you can be genuinely happy? Or are you only happy when you are with someone? If so, that is also a problem.
You need to do things that make you happy and quit focusing on being alone.
Join a team, take a class, do volunteer work, plan a vacation, etc. When you are actively engaged in activities you enjoy your attitude will improve, your desperation and loneliness will decrease, and your chances of meeting like-minded people increases. It's hard, but this rough patch will pass by more quickly if you are actively engaged in something. Best wishes.
Women can have sympathy for a man and try to cheer them up for the moment.
But it won't last long unless it is a loving wife taking care of a sick husband or a long time girlfriend taking care of her man.
They want a man to portray confidence and courage and self motivation and someone who can show they can rebound from a bad experience.
If you act like you need a shoulder to cry on you might get one for awhile.
But as men, we are supposed to provide that for them when they need it. Not ask for it for ourselves.
Body language or conversation that seeks pity is not going to get you anywhere.
Feeling sorry for yourself won't impress a new acquaintence.
The past is past. Let it go. A woman can tell if you are still living there.
Act like you are living in the present and looking toward the future.
i thought you were telling people that sex was your pastime ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Leather Jacket
I understand that girls think loneliness and desperation is unattractive in a man. But it's so hard to not be when you've been single for several months and only have been on one date that didn't go anywhere.
Work and friends don't help. At the end of the day, you still want to spend some quality time with a girl.
I never understood how women can just "sniff it" on a guy, but as ashamed I am to admit, I am lonely. I am desperate. I feel depressed, inadequate and unwanted that I haven't dated in so long.
But the next opportunity I have to really talk to and chat with a girl (whenever that may be) I don't want it to show.
Get a dog!! One that is cute and friendly. Cute, friendly, clean and well behaved dogs are a great chick magnet. And a great ice breaker if you have gotten it from an animal shelter or rescue group. And a dog will give you unconditional love which will make you feel a lot better about yourself.
I love this Jim Beam commercial with the puppy rental service!
I never understood how women can just "sniff it" on a guy, but as ashamed I am to admit, I am lonely. I am desperate. I feel depressed, inadequate and unwanted that I haven't dated in so long.
But the next opportunity I have to really talk to and chat with a girl (whenever that may be) I don't want it to show.
So what do I have to do?
You want my advice? Learn to be happy with yourself. Don't cling to this idea that you need a woman in order to be happy. You would do well to follow MMichelle's advice to break your bad habits, instead of wallowing in them.
I never understood how women can just "sniff it" on a guy, but as ashamed I am to admit, I am lonely. I am desperate. I feel depressed, inadequate and unwanted that I haven't dated in so long.
But the next opportunity I have to really talk to and chat with a girl (whenever that may be) I don't want it to show.
So what do I have to do?
Women can sense when you are desperate or have only one thing on your mind. When you see an attractive woman try not to stare at her like you haven't eaten in a week and she's a holiday turkey with all the trimmings. Play it cool and go easy on the compliments when talking with her. Talk to her about things you would talk to anyone about, forget that you are attracted to her for a moment and just talk about anything and be yourself. Relax, if you are tense or nervous it's normal, but keep that under control and don't be so worried about what she's going to think. Chances are if you are out on a date she's a little bit nervous too. Keep the conversation flowing and enjoy yourself wherever you are.
Take her someplace where there is something going on or something to talk about like a gallery, museum, carnival, street fair, or maybe an aquarium or zoo. That way if you run out of something to talk about you have a distraction and there isn't a lot of "dead air", you can take in the scene around you until you find something else to talk about. I would steer away from dinner as a first date, it can quickly turn into a staring contest if you run out of things to talk about.
Relax, have fun and be the same person you are around your friends.
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