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Most women would miss the attention if it suddenly stopped. Beit Repectful manner or disrespectful manner.
I'm not saying they wouldn't. I'm saying that you can't fault women for not liking to be scared and offended. Not all "hit ons" are the same. It's a bit simplistic to think that way.
I think that most women (or this is how I feel, anyway) are flattered when someone hits on them or compliments them in a respectful manner. The thing that you aren't understanding is that sometimes men hit on women in a disrespectful or even scary manner. A man telling me that I'm attractive and that he'd like to take me out - that's great. A man not taking no for an answer, following me down the street, telling me to turn around so that he can admire my body while I'm at work, etc. - those things are not flattering. This is what bothers women.
I do understand but you just said that a man asking you to.turn around so he can admire your body is not flattering, if he wants to admire your body then he finds you incredibly attractive yet you find that offensive which is certainly yout right to do so, I am only pointing out a fundamental difference between women and men or should I say between women and men like me?, I would be not only flattered but also honored to have a woman ask me to turn around so she can admire my body even if I am at work, if she strips me naked with her eyes that is a good thing, nothing there to be upset about. However a man refusing to take no for an answer and following down the street in a scary way and stuff like that is not what I call hitting on a woman that is stalking and harrassing. That is a completely different situation.
I do understand but you just said that a man asking you to.turn around so he can admire your body is not flattering, if he wants to admire your body then he finds you incredibly attractive yet you find that offensive which is certainly yout right to do so, I am only pointing out a fundamental difference between women and men or should I say between women and men like me?, I would be not only flattered but also honored to have a woman ask me to turn around so she can admire my body even if I am at work, if she strips me naked with her eyes that is a good thing, nothing there to be upset about. However a man refusing to take no for an answer and following down the street in a scary way and stuff like that is not what I call hitting on a woman that is stalking and harrassing. That is a completely different situation.
I was 22 years old and working at the front desk of a gym. A guy came in and asked if I was the girl that was on the gym floor the other day wearing a jean skirt and tights. He was probably in his late 40's/early 50's. He stood there leering at me and I told him that - yes - that was me. My manager was standing right next to me. Then he told me to turn around so he could see my hot body. It was humiliating. And then my manager, who was a woman, said, "Yes. Isn't she cute! That's why we hired her." It was awful. Maybe you like being treated like that. I do not.
I think that most women (or this is how I feel, anyway) are flattered when someone hits on them or compliments them in a respectful manner. The thing that you aren't understanding is that sometimes men hit on women in a disrespectful or even scary manner. A man telling me that I'm attractive and that he'd like to take me out - that's great. A man not taking no for an answer, following me down the street, telling me to turn around so that he can admire my body while I'm at work, etc. - those things are not flattering. This is what bothers women.
Not saying it's right, but those types of guys are confident enough to ask a woman out.
I was 22 years old and working at the front desk of a gym. A guy came in and asked if I was the girl that was on the gym floor the other day wearing a jean skirt and tights. He was probably in his late 40's/early 50's. He stood there leering at me and I told him that - yes - that was me. My manager was standing right next to me. Then he told me to turn around so he could see my hot body. It was humiliating. And then my manager, who was a woman, said, "Yes. Isn't she cute! That's why we hired her." It was awful. Maybe you like being treated like that. I do not.
If he wasn't 40-50ish and was young and good looking (your age) do you think you would have been offended?
Most women would miss the attention if it suddenly stopped. Beit Repectful manner or disrespectful manner.
You're talking as if you actually know what it's like to be harassed by someone bigger and stronger than you who's treating you in a threatening or intimidating manner. You're just talking off the top of your head. You have no idea what it's like. You're not qualified to speak authoritatively about this.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 09-09-2014 at 10:13 PM..
If he wasn't 40-50ish and was young and good looking (your age) do you think you would have been offended?
It means he (and others like him) thinks he has a right to stare at you in a creepy fashion, and that you have to take it, and even accommodate him. It means he believes it's ok for him to violate your boundaries and look at you in an obviously sexual manner, like some drooling Neanderthal, as if that's not intimidating and threatening to a woman, because she had no idea what he might do next. He might hang around and follow her home after work. But she's supposed to just take it. And now some idiots on the internet are telling her she's supposed to feel flattered by this guy who feels it's his right to take liberties with her, invade her personal space and get creepy.
If he wasn't 40-50ish and was young and good looking (your age) do you think you would have been offended?
Yes. I only included our ages because I was really young and even though it made me uncomfortable, I didn't say anything. And my manager was horrible to allow that to happen. If this had happened when I was in my 30's - I wouldn't have allowed it. I would have spoken up for myself. But the fact that I was in my early 20's and he was so much older than I was, as was my manager, I was afraid to stand up for myself. He wasn't bad looking. I found out later that he actually did some adult movies and pics. This was back before everyone and their brother was on the internet. I'm kind of surprised that none of the men seem to understand why this would have upset me - or you think that it wouldn't have upset me if he was younger and better looking. Treating someone like a piece of meat while they are at work in front of the manager - it's just not appropriate. Asking me to turn around and model for him? Awful.
It means he (and others like him) thinks he has a right to stare at you in a creepy fashion, and that you have to take it, and even accommodate him. It means he believes it's ok for him to violate your boundaries and look at you in an obviously sexual manner, like some drooling Neanderthal, as if that's not intimidating and threatening to a woman, because she had no idea what he might do next. He might hang around and follow her home after work. But she's supposed to just take it. And now some idiots on the internet are telling her she's supposed to feel flattered by this guy who feels it's his right to take liberties with her, invade her personal space and get creepy.
Exactly.
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, I would be not only flattered but also honored to have a woman ask me to turn around so she can admire my body even if I am at work, if she strips me naked with her eyes that is a good thing, nothing there to be upset about. However a man refusing to take no for an answer and following down the street in a scary way and stuff like that is not what I call hitting on a woman that is stalking and harrassing. That is a completely different situation.
