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Keep her away from City Data Relationships Forum. J/k
i respectfully disagree. i think that city data forum has shed some good light on where people are at. lots of good men and women post here. but to be truthful nobody posting 35 hrs a week is going to be dating are they?
i respectfully disagree. i think that city data forum has shed some good light on where people are at. lots of good men and women post here. but to be truthful nobody posting 35 hrs a week is going to be dating are they?
While I certainly do not spend anymore than a couple hours a week on C-D, it has in no way affected my dating life at any point.
....because I would never tell any female I post in the relationships forum
Trust me, I'm not a fan of sex/gender bashers. Your posts reflect someone who is arrested. At most, that might result in surfacing compassion from time to time.
I would've responded the same way if the genders were reversed to the question in this thread that then the female need not have to convince him.
You have painted me a certain way from way back IMO.
If you really knew me, "your tune" about me would change drastically for the positive.
You've been given SEVERAL pieces of GOOD advice in this thread.
While I understand that you've become attached (read "I dig and want to get somewhere with") to said woman, you can't MAKE it happen. It's as simple as you BEING a non-jerk, and either it falls on fertile ground or it doesn't.
The following have already been pointed out, but let's just make a list here to consider:
- She's off dating, due to a bad experience
- She has a HISTORY of dating men who turn out to be jerks; this means that either:
A) she has a TASTE for jerks and needs to examine her own patterns in order to break them, or...
B) you have to consider the alternative, which is several bad relationships, ONE common denominator -- her. She may just have a "he's a jerk" story for every man with whom it didn't work out so that SHE'S not the guilty party.
- If you do ANYTHING wrong she's likely, very likely, to revert to her "men-are-dogs" programming, in which case you're a jerk, too. And remember -- no one can avoid mistakes forever.
- I've met a few of various girlfriends' or wives' exes, and was surprised at what great guys some of them turned out to be. This may just be her MO.
- Last, but hardly least, she may just need time.
I have a feeling that last one is the one you're determined to focus on when it's the one you should likely be ignoring in lieu of the other things pointed out thus far. Every guy or gal has it when it comes to affections, thinking "I'm different, I can prove it." Often there's nothing to prove because it's not you, it's them.
How do you convince a woman that not ALL guys are jerks?
You have to be yourself and by your consistent actions, you may be able to prove to her that YOU are not a jerk. You can't rush this process. She needs a lot of time to heal from the last jerk. And it will take a lot time to show her that you are not a jerk but a nice guy.
You can't rush the process by arguing with her either. You'd better have a lot of patience.
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How do you convince a woman that not ALL guys are jerks?
