My older gf... ease my mind.. (marriages, girls, cheated, husband)
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I think Im being a lil self concious. Like people see us as mismatched. Not that Im one to care. She does Pilates. Works out. I mean she has a few lines. lol.. You can tell shes a lil older. But she dresses nice and looks nice. I have had a few people say " well what about when shes 50 and your 42? She will look 50 you know?" I think part of it is that in the past I have dated these young lil hard bodies. Eye candy types that run three miles a day and are 21 or 26. So people type me with these girls. I workout and have no problem with women. That sounded totally arrogant but it wasnt meant that way I promise lol. I could care less about that stuff. But maybe to a point it is what other people think. And I dont like feeling that way.
It's easier said than done, but I really wouldn't listen to them. Besides, on a more appearance based note, who is to say that the 21 or 26 year old is going to be fit at 30, at 40, etc? I'm 26 and I can tell you that the number of friends that I have who eat well, exercise, etc. is dropping off. Who knows what they will look like in 5 yrs, 10 yrs etc. You have someone who you know will take care of herself all of her life if she is doing it at 40. Plus, you probably have so much more in common with this woman because of your kids, etc than you do with a 21 year old.
Last edited by MsRiss7383; 12-23-2009 at 10:39 AM..
Reason: Horrible spelling!
It's easier said than done, but I really wouldn't listen to them. Besides, on a more appearance based note, who is to say that the 21 or 26 year old is going to be fit at 30, at 40, etc? I'm 26 and I can tell you that the number of friends that I have who eat well, exercise, etc. is dropping off. Who knows what they will look like in 5 yrs, 10 yrs etc. You have someone who you know will take care of herself all of her life if she is doing it at 40. Plus, you probably have so much more in common with this woman because of your kids, etc than you do with a 21 year old.
That is absolutly true. I have freinds who have wives that had a kid at 25 and gave up. ANd Im not being shallow. Looks arent everything by any means. But I perfer someone who takes care of themselves. I try to. And we def have more in common. She understands what its like to deal with pain in the butt exes. To have parental responsibilites. Shes over partying and she barely drinks. She doesnt go off at every lil thing that happens. Its such a change.
I also think that one of my issues is that after I got seperated I gave up a good job to pursue another one. So I took a financial hit that is slowly resolving itself. So when I met her I was a lil intimidated by her house etc. Not that shes rich shes just in a better situation than I am. But to my suprise she is much much more understanding about it than the younger girls.
Ok I know the age difference topic has been beatin to death. But here it goes anyway. I have met someone. And we have both unintentionally fallen hard. Really hard. We do have an age difference. Its only 8.5 years. Ill be 32 in Feb. and she just turned 40.
We are both divorced. She has a 9 yo son and a 5 yo daughter. I have an 8 yo son and a 3 yo daughter. And it looks like if things keep going the way they are it could turn serious.
I dont know why the age difference is somewhat of a worry for me. I dont know why. Im a young looking 32. My last "girlfriend" was 21. That was a waste of time by the way. I actually enjoy her being older and mature. Its such a nice change. She is so easy to be with. We dont play games. We are honest. We just talk about things. Shes not a lunatic like all the younger girls Ive dated. Its great.
I cant figure out why I overthink it. Obviously she doesnt have a 21 yo body. But she takes care of herself and shes a beautiful woman. Maybe I just need some total strangers to tell me to stop overthinking and go with it.
Sometimes you have to do what you want, and not do what others think is best.
8 years is not so large a gap. You more or less are of the same generation.
My concern is not so much the age gap but the fact that you both have young children.
Have you considered them? Do they get to see their other parent? How does this lady feel about you bringing young children into the relationship when she has her own that are very close in age to yours?
How does she treat and has brought up her children?
I have seen many a disaster with blended families. People get married to quick with kids then end up being divorced and the kids are screwed up (again) b/c of another divorce. Take your time and date her. Have you met her kids and vice versa?
Ok I know the age difference topic has been beatin to death. But here it goes anyway. I have met someone. And we have both unintentionally fallen hard. Really hard. We do have an age difference. Its only 8.5 years. Ill be 32 in Feb. and she just turned 40.
We are both divorced. She has a 9 yo son and a 5 yo daughter. I have an 8 yo son and a 3 yo daughter. And it looks like if things keep going the way they are it could turn serious.
I dont know why the age difference is somewhat of a worry for me. I dont know why. Im a young looking 32. My last "girlfriend" was 21. That was a waste of time by the way. I actually enjoy her being older and mature. Its such a nice change. She is so easy to be with. We dont play games. We are honest. We just talk about things. Shes not a lunatic like all the younger girls Ive dated. Its great.
I cant figure out why I overthink it. Obviously she doesnt have a 21 yo body. But she takes care of herself and shes a beautiful woman. Maybe I just need some total strangers to tell me to stop overthinking and go with it.
Stop overthinking and go with it. There, you've been told, end of thread.
My concern is not so much the age gap but the fact that you both have young children.
Have you considered them? Do they get to see their other parent? How does this lady feel about you bringing young children into the relationship when she has her own that are very close in age to yours?
How does she treat and has brought up her children?
I have seen many a disaster with blended families. People get married to quick with kids then end up being divorced and the kids are screwed up (again) b/c of another divorce. Take your time and date her. Have you met her kids and vice versa?
Shes fine with me having kids. Her kids love me and they are great. She is an awesome mom. I have a lot of respect for her in that department. Her children spend alot of time with their father. And my children live with their mother in another city. But I see your point and know it can be an issue. But I appreciate the comments. Thank you.
You are definitely overthinking this one. You've met a great woman who sounds like a very good match for you in all the important areas you've relayed. Do you know how lucky you are to have found someone you are so compatible with? I have friends who have been dating/looking for years and can't find anyone they are compatible with. An eight year age difference is nothing in the scheme of things. You are a lucky man, don't look for problems when there are none.
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