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arranged marriage is ok, arranged service contract during the marriage is much better.
mother in laws in the orient keep new wives from devouring their sons after the wedding.
we need it here.
I once had a woman from India working for me and she was in an arranged marriage. They'd been married about 20 years by then, had a couple of nearly grown kids and she told me a few things. She said that nobody 'loved' their partner when they married but that it was very possible for love to grow with time.
You know something, due to mass marketing promoting useless crap, western culture is WAY to caught up in 'love', and desire to feel this enigmatic emotion.
Americans forget that relationships are also business transactions. This business transaction entails sharing limited resources, paying bills, talking care of sick family, going to work, being a provider, being a protector, being a shoulder to cry on, and most importantly, lending an ear so your mate can debrief themselves. This does not require 'love' but it does require compassion, maturity, and a willingness to work together as a team to stay alive in this world.
The point of my rant is that I feel it's much more of a success to stay with your consort for 20 years, and raise the little ones to be productive citizens even if you could not proclaim that you 'love' your consort then to be able to procalim that all your past relationships you were 'madly in love' but yet you have nothing to show forth except a string of failed relationships and fatherless/motherless children.
The True concept of Arranged Marriage is that u marry that someone whom god has willed to be your life partner ... as a muslim we're supposed to completely trust our lord for everything ..as we believe that what he does ..he does it for good ..and that its a part of his plan ..so before marrying a total stranger we pray to god for some clues and seek his counsel ..many people say that u get the clues in your dreams and all ..its not correct ..from my personal experience ..when u expect a news good/bad we're bound to obey and take it as it is ..a clue from god ..this may sound weird to you folks but this is what arranged marriage is all about in Islam ..the prayer is called ''Istikhara'' seeking gods counsell .. not just for marriage but for everything doubtfull and very very important issues .. read more if u're interested to know about marriage in Islam ..on various islamic websites
The True concept of Arranged Marriage is that u marry that someone whom god has willed to be your life partner ... as a muslim we're supposed to completely trust our lord for everything ..as we believe that what he does ..he does it for good ..and that its a part of his plan ..so before marrying a total stranger we pray to god for some clues and seek his counsel ..many people say that u get the clues in your dreams and all ..its not correct ..from my personal experience ..when u expect a news good/bad we're bound to obey and take it as it is ..a clue from god ..this may sound weird to you folks but this is what arranged marriage is all about in Islam ..the prayer is called ''Istikhara'' seeking gods counsell .. not just for marriage but for everything doubtfull and very very important issues .. read more if u're interested to know about marriage in Islam ..on various islamic websites
Well, one of the key principles of Islam is submission to God's will, so I'm pretty sure you'd just have to accept. This is likely the reason there are many Turkish proverbs about how ugly women make better wives.
I wouldn't even consider such a thing and I've always thought the whole concept was incredibly stupid. Why on earth would anyone want to marry someone they don't even know? It's surprising that this still happens in the twenty first century but I suppose it's deeply embedded in certain cultures because it's been going on for such a long period of time. I suspect that the origins of this practice were based on the parent's desire to benefit themselves by marrying into a family that they considered to be of an appropriate social status.
Actually, our concept of marriage here in the west is relatively new and rare. Throughout history, marriage has been more about forming alliances between families, protecting economic interests, and achieving political goals than it has been about love. So while we may think it's crazy, even offensive to marry someone you've never met, you also have to keep in mind how other cultures view marriage. Personally, I would never marry someone I've never even met, I don't care how compatible I might be with them. If someone thinks I'd be a good match for them, then let's meet for coffee, not book the wedding hall. But our higher expectations of marriage explains why our divorce rate is so much higher than in cultures that believe in arranged marriage.
The True concept of Arranged Marriage is that u marry that someone whom god has willed to be your life partner ... as a muslim we're supposed to completely trust our lord for everything ..as we believe that what he does ..he does it for good ..and that its a part of his plan ..so before marrying a total stranger we pray to god for some clues and seek his counsel ..many people say that u get the clues in your dreams and all ..its not correct ..from my personal experience ..when u expect a news good/bad we're bound to obey and take it as it is ..a clue from god ..this may sound weird to you folks but this is what arranged marriage is all about in Islam ..the prayer is called ''Istikhara'' seeking gods counsell .. not just for marriage but for everything doubtfull and very very important issues .. read more if u're interested to know about marriage in Islam ..on various islamic websites
I don't think the OP was referring to arranged marriages specifically around Muslim couples.
I have a friend, for example, that's in a kinda-sorta arranged marriage and she's Greek. There's no religious context to the decision whatsoever, other than they're both Greek Orthodox. The reasoning in the marriage is that they both are from the same island in Greece and have matching dowrys or something like that and their families know each other, etc etc.
So, yes, in Islam arranged marriage is often seen as having divine intervention, but in other cultures/religions, it's more of a social and financial agreement.
I don't think the OP was referring to arranged marriages specifically around Muslim couples.
Yes actually in my OP I specifically excluded religion, at least on the groom's side. I should have also excluded say, Indian men living in a western country. Because my original interest was what purely westernized men thought of the idea since it is so completely opposite to how we go about things here.
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