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As you can read the title, my wife of 1 year is still contacting the OM. It's been now 5 hours since she left. I demanded it has to stop but she doesn't seem to care. In fact I get blame for being neglectful in the past and too focus on working. Even after the emails I found which contained strong details, she keeps denying there was ever sex.
Just two days ago she even had the nerves to tell me I can date other women if I want to (I just want my marriage back). What's going on? I want the same woman I met years ago. Every time I mentioned counseling she gets upset and states how I'm the problem.
It's been 2 months I'm dealing with this and apparently she doesn't care about me one bit.
Here are some solutions I can think of right now:
1) Hoping she'll forget about the OM and agree to go to counseling with me
2) Throw a fit and kick her to the curb as I'm really getting fed up with it
3) Find out where the OM lives and beat the crap out of him.
Is there some hope she'll change and work on our marriage or should I just proceed towards filing for divorce? I haven't told my mother about what she'd done as it'll cause for hatred. She never liked my then girlfriend to which it created a huge argument to the point I didn't speak to her for months.
Short answer:
Grow a pair, toss her out, and move on with your life.
Long answer:
The reason this is ongoing is because you lack a spine to do anything about it and she knows it, evidenced by your pouting and carrying on about her still seeing the guy and still not having thrown her out on her ass.
Stop hoping you can change her behavior and stop her from seeing the other guy. Accept that you can't change anything besides your own behavior and actions. Understand you can only control what you say, do, or how you react to the situation. In the end your options are limited. You accept being cuckolded, or you boot her out. Pining over the cheating **** your wife turned out to be isn't very beneficial and will only cause you more harm over the long run.
Move on. No one deserves this. Period end of discussion. No matter how much you loved her, she can reciprocate. File and move on. It is a form of self preservation.
As you can read the title, my wife of 1 year is still contacting the OM. It's been now 5 hours since she left. I demanded it has to stop but she doesn't seem to care. In fact I get blame for being neglectful in the past and too focus on working. Even after the emails I found which contained strong details, she keeps denying there was ever sex.
Just two days ago she even had the nerves to tell me I can date other women if I want to (I just want my marriage back). What's going on? I want the same woman I met years ago. Every time I mentioned counseling she gets upset and states how I'm the problem.
It's been 2 months I'm dealing with this and apparently she doesn't care about me one bit.
Here are some solutions I can think of right now:
1) Hoping she'll forget about the OM and agree to go to counseling with me
2) Throw a fit and kick her to the curb as I'm really getting fed up with it
3) Find out where the OM lives and beat the crap out of him.
Is there some hope she'll change and work on our marriage or should I just proceed towards filing for divorce? I haven't told my mother about what she'd done as it'll cause for hatred. She never liked my then girlfriend to which it created a huge argument to the point I didn't speak to her for months.
Sorry you are in such a difficult place in your relationship. I can't say what you should or should not do because it seems the two of you really haven't sat down and talked to each other to any great extent.
It sounds like she has involved another man in hopes of moving on OR perhaps it's an attempt to show you she is worthy of a man's time and attention.....since she feels you don't seem to have any for her. Who knows?
Have you sat down and really talked to her about your relationship? What's missing, what's needed, is there still love, does she WANT to be married any longer?
I am not one to advocate divorce until I know I have done everything to save the marriage. If divorce is the end result, then I have no regrets or "what ifs" about it.
I would advise you to leave your mother out of this. Now is not the time for any "I told you so's" and it doesn't help anything.
Have a serious talk, if there is not a chance to reconcile, then you know what you have to do. Again, I'm sorry you are having to go through this and I wish you well.
Thank you and yes sadly I'm going to start filing for divorce anything this week.
After that's done then I might be single for a long time. I calculate my recovery process will not happen overnight. I know most of my friend would suggest meeting women at nightclubs. The problem is I don't even like drinking and partying isn't my hobby.
I didn't take my mother's advice years early. I did what probably not many people would have done which is to place your spouse into a pedestal (even if that meant going against your own mother and not speaking to her for months).
You probably should have listened to your mom depending on your mom of course. Usually your parent has your best interests in mind - and your mom probably saw something in this woman that you refused to see. Unless your mom is some control freak and wants to keep you for herself, never let you grow up, it's worth listening to most moms to some extent.
Sorry you are in such a difficult place in your relationship. I can't say what you should or should not do because it seems the two of you really haven't sat down and talked to each other to any great extent.
It sounds like she has involved another man in hopes of moving on OR perhaps it's an attempt to show you she is worthy of a man's time and attention.....since she feels you don't seem to have any for her. Who knows?
Have you sat down and really talked to her about your relationship? What's missing, what's needed, is there still love, does she WANT to be married any longer?
I am not one to advocate divorce until I know I have done everything to save the marriage. If divorce is the end result, then I have no regrets or "what ifs" about it.
I would advise you to leave your mother out of this. Now is not the time for any "I told you so's" and it doesn't help anything.
Have a serious talk, if there is not a chance to reconcile, then you know what you have to do. Again, I'm sorry you are having to go through this and I wish you well.
Adultery breaks the marriage vows. It doesn't really say much for a woman or man who would continue to sleep with someone they know is sleeping with someone else. That puts them on the same level as the other man or woman.
Once the marriage vows have been broken, the marriage is over and it's time for a divorce to separate the material possessions.
No one should accept becoming a doormat or pretend they have a real marriage when the other is sleeping around on them.
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