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My dating life keeps getting worse. I haven't met anyone I really click with, most of the men I've met only want me for sex, and that's not what I'm loking for.
I just met a guy, had been talking to him for a few weeks through msn and text until we finally met. I thought everything was going fine...I hadn't had sex in a year and a half because I was just waiting for the right guy. I liked him...there was sexual attraction by my part. We had sex...mostly because I felt very pressured and felt like I had to live up to what he wanted. Because I hadn't had sex in such a long time, it was very painful and told him to just wait a bit after trying different positions. We layed in bed together, and I just closed my eyes. I felt him get up, fidget around with his things, start texting. I had a very bad feeling. When I woke up from my short nap, I turned to him, saw his gloomy face, and asked him if he was bored. He said it was a mistake that we had met, that we were at different points in our life. He was right in that, but he knew I was inexperienced and wanted to take it slow. We had 2 day plans (he had come from out of town), he was supposed to leave tomorrow, and he told me he was leaving that afternoon instead. I didn't try to hold him back or ask for any explanation, I just said ok and agreed.
I feel so used, heartbroken, sad, angry, nostalgic. We had been clicking so much for weeks and in just one hour, everything was over. I waited so long to be intimate with the right person, he took a very important part of me, and I'm left here with my self-esteem on the ground, wanting to just sleep and never wake up. I know I will eventually get over this, but I have an ache in my heart right now that's too painful to bear. I believed all the beautiful things he had told me for weeks. This is mostly my fault, I know. It still hurts though.
I'm so sorry things didn't turn out the way you had hoped. That must have felt awful, to have such high hopes that the chemistry you felt while conversing would be there when you met in real life. I'm so sorry you are at a low point right now. Is there a friend who could come over and stay with you tonight? Maybe watch some movies and have a good cry?
I'm not sure if he purposefully used you or not (meaning he didn't mean any of the things he said and never planned to stay for two days.) It certainly sounds like a possibility, though sometimes it's hard to say if you will mesh with a person until you meet them in real life. In any case, I'm so sorry for how you're feeling right now, that you felt pressured to have sex with him, and how low it made you feel for him to sleep with you and then bug out right away. That was a crummy thing to do. You're definitely right to feel very hurt right now.
Of course it hurts, I'm sorry to hear you went through that. At least you can take something from that. Don't try get to know people by text and MSN, it's hopeless. If you don't meet many people at work ensure you have varied interests, anything from sports to volunteering to book clubs to church, whatever it takes, get out there and get to know people slowly and try to be friends for a long time before getting intimate,
My dating life keeps getting worse. I haven't met anyone I really click with, most of the men I've met only want me for sex, and that's not what I'm loking for.
And history repeated itself. It's best to refrain from having sex until you get to know someone. First the respect, then the sex.
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I just met a guy, had been talking to him for a few weeks through msn and text until we finally met.
Problem #1. You only talked to him by text, msn. Cam or I.M. or whatever for a few weeks. Then when you met face to face, you have sex. Not good. After waiting an entire year for the "right guy" you slept with him instantly. Hopefully you took an account of what you wanted in a relationship during that year, it doesn't really sound like you have. Don't beat yourself up over it, he probably wasn't the best guy for you anyhow. He's out there, next time hold off on the sex for at least 6 weeks if not longer after you meet him face to face.
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I thought everything was going fine...I hadn't had sex in a year and a half because I was just waiting for the right guy. I liked him...there was sexual attraction by my part.
You were sexually attracted to him and you acted on your impulse.
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We had sex...mostly because I felt very pressured and felt like I had to live up to what he wanted. Because I hadn't had sex in such a long time, it was very painful and told him to just wait a bit after trying different positions. We layed in bed together, and I just closed my eyes. I felt him get up, fidget around with his things, start texting.
If you felt "pressured" then you just contradicted your statement above where you said you were sexually attracted to him. You shouldn't have felt pressured to do anything, and if you did there's a good reason for not having sex with someone you feel pressured into sleeping with.
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I had a very bad feeling. When I woke up from my short nap, I turned to him, saw his gloomy face, and asked him if he was bored. He said it was a mistake that we had met, that we were at different points in our life. He was right in that, but he knew I was inexperienced and wanted to take it slow.
He's texting, and had a gloomy face.
If he knew you wanted to take it slow, you shouldn't have slept with him. There shouldn't have been any pressure involved if he knew you weren't interested in having sex with him. Don't blame anyone because this isn't a blame situation. Not yourself, and not him. If you're not secure enough with yourself, your voice, and be direct and firm and not have sex when you feel "pressured" then you need to be single a little while longer, and not date because you're not ready.
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We had 2 day plans (he had come from out of town), he was supposed to leave tomorrow, and he told me he was leaving that afternoon instead. I didn't try to hold him back or ask for any explanation, I just said ok and agreed.
If you make plans to go with someone for 2 days, I hope you had separate hotel rooms. If not, then there's no mystery why he felt like this was going to be a sex weekend.
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I feel so used, heartbroken, sad, angry, nostalgic. We had been clicking so much for weeks and in just one hour, everything was over. I waited so long to be intimate with the right person, he took a very important part of me, and I'm left here with my self-esteem on the ground, wanting to just sleep and never wake up. I know I will eventually get over this, but I have an ache in my heart right now that's too painful to bear. I believed all the beautiful things he had told me for weeks. This is mostly my fault, I know. It still hurts though.
You feel used and heartbroken because on your very first meeting, you have sex with a guy you really barely know. I don't care how long you texted (which is nothing), or talked on MSN (if it was I.M. that's texting too), if it was cam on MSN you should have talked to him face to face on cam long enough and about enough subjects that you shouldn't have felt pressured to sleep with him the first time you met.
Time to take a full account of what you want out of life, the kind of man you want, the kind of woman you want to be for the man you involve yourself with.
That's a very sad situation and I'm sorry it worked out that way. I guess all I can tell you is not to dwell on it because it will just make you feel worse. Keep looking and maybe be a little more careful in the future. I know that's difficult because we often don't realize we've made a mistake until it's already too late. Good luck to you.
And history repeated itself. It's best to refrain from having sex until you get to know someone. First the respect, then the sex.
Problem #1. You only talked to him by text, msn. Cam or I.M. or whatever for a few weeks. Then when you met face to face, you have sex. Not good. After waiting an entire year for the "right guy" you slept with him instantly. Hopefully you took an account of what you wanted in a relationship during that year, it doesn't really sound like you have. Don't beat yourself up over it, he probably wasn't the best guy for you anyhow. He's out there, next time hold off on the sex for at least 6 weeks if not longer after you meet him face to face.
You were sexually attracted to him and you acted on your impulse.
If you felt "pressured" then you just contradicted your statement above where you said you were sexually attracted to him. You shouldn't have felt pressured to do anything, and if you did there's a good reason for not having sex with someone you feel pressured into sleeping with.
He's texting, and had a gloomy face.
If he knew you wanted to take it slow, you shouldn't have slept with him. There shouldn't have been any pressure involved if he knew you weren't interested in having sex with him. Don't blame anyone because this isn't a blame situation. Not yourself, and not him. If you're not secure enough with yourself, your voice, and be direct and firm and not have sex when you feel "pressured" then you need to be single a little while longer, and not date because you're not ready.
If you make plans to go with someone for 2 days, I hope you had separate hotel rooms. If not, then there's no mystery why he felt like this was going to be a sex weekend.
You feel used and heartbroken because on your very first meeting, you have sex with a guy you really barely know. I don't care how long you texted (which is nothing), or talked on MSN (if it was I.M. that's testing too), if it was cam on MSN you should have talked to him face to face on cam long enough and about enough subjects that you shouldn't have felt pressured to sleep with him the first time you met.
Time to take a full account of what you want out of life, the kind of man you want, the kind of woman you want to be for the man you involve yourself with.
Just because you're sexually attracted to someone doesn't mean you have to do them.
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h886 gave excellent advice! Maybe you can hang out with a caring friend or get out and try and move past this?