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This situation happened 2 years ago and we dont talk about it anymore but i'm still mad..
Living a seemingly happy life with wife for 32 years,have two children, we both work and money has always been put into the household joint accounts Checking and savings,we've always lived frugally and never buy stuff we cant afford so we never carry any debt.
Wifes father passes away and leaves her $500,000 which she promptly puts in a private account that i have no access to and she's not entertaining any idea of spending any of it. As i always made double her income and put everything in the pot i feel somewhat betrayed that now she has a financial windfall i have no say in any part of it and am now wondering if i was just a meal ticket all these years. had the situation been reversed i'd have probably invested much of the money but would have put a substantial amount in the joint accounts and said take what you need.
You are making a mountain out of a mole hill.
Someday my wife will come into an inheritance and I have already made it clear I do not want access or anything to do with it other than she has to take me on a cruise when it does come. It's her money and I would feel great if I knew she had that in case something happened to me or in the event of disaster.
Jambo, I would be devastated if my spouse were to cut me off of the incoming $500,000. I would see that as income and since you had previously shared income this is quite an alteration of behaviour. Is she anticipating divorce somewhere down the line?
As for the topic I got kinda tired of re explaining everything to people who were just filling in their own facts or hadnt really followed the story ,
Got tired of the personal inquisition aspect of the topic from some members so i was glad when the topic finally faded away.
Thanks for bringing it back.
We are still happily married and she still has all her money in a bank somewhere Heres the original post =
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Originally Posted by jambo101 This situation happened 2 years ago and we dont talk about it anymore but i'm still mad..
Living a seemingly happy life with wife for 32 years,have two children, we both work and money has always been put into the household joint accounts Checking and savings,we've always lived frugally and never buy stuff we cant afford so we never carry any debt.
Wifes father passes away and leaves her $500,000 which she promptly puts in a private account that i have no access to and she's not entertaining any idea of spending any of it. As i always made double her income and put everything in the pot i feel somewhat betrayed that now she has a financial windfall i have no say in any part of it and am now wondering if i was just a meal ticket all these years. had the situation been reversed i'd have probably invested much of the money but would have put a substantial amount in the joint accounts and said take what you need.
500k is actually not a lot of $$$. I mean what would you really do with it? Stocks are not the safest. I wouldn't nitpick about it. Just save your inheritance to your own account, then all is good. I tend to agree with her decision because inheritance is not money that you both earned. It's a one-time thing. Therefore spending it might cause you to live beyond your means and create bad habits. Saving it is an excellent idea.
i wouldn't share my entire paycheck with my significant other ever.
if they wanted a joint account i would allot some of my paycheck to the joint pot, but theres too much of a risk of greed. i married for love, i don't owe them money.
and thats a two way street there. she may not have to share that 500k with you, but you should remove the joint bank account cause you don't owe her a damn dime.
She did the right thing. The money was given to HER, and it will remain hers until she co-mingles it with yours. If she did that, it would become community property. Do you understand that? You should do the same with your inheritance if it's sizable. I'd guess that any attorney worth his salt would have advised her to treat the inheritance as she did for a number of reasons. If she was my wife, I'd want her to do the same thing.
An inheritance is not like a windfall. It's more like a gift from her parents. Had she inherited their home or expensive personal property you'd probably not have given it a second thought that she kept it in her name. Money you want in a joint account. That's exactly what she should NOT do. It's better this way. If you're really concerned about it, talk to an attorney. With that size of inheritance, you both should have done that already.
Exactly. Once the funds are co-mingled (meaning she puts the money in a joint account, or buys things with the funds for the family) they are no longer protected in the event of a divorce, etc. We went through this recently--I inherited from my mother. Our attorney advised us to handle things exactly in the way your wife has handled it. The other advice he gave us--if we "borrow" from the inheritance account, make sure that we draw up a formal, notarized loan agreement with a repayment plan to the inheritance account. That way it doesn't confuse the issue, and the funds remain protected.
I'm a stay at home mom who gave up her full time career to care for kids, and to allow my husband to do the non-stop work related travel to dramatically expand his. We've been happily married a long time, we're a team in everything we do, there's no "mine and yours", but in the case of my inheritance, my husband thought it was fair to keep the funds separate and had no problem with it. It's my family's money--he'll do the same thing when it's time with his family. I can't imagine my husband essentially calling me a "mooch" because I took care of our family and him for all these years--he couldn't have done half of what he's done without me at home.
As someone else said, there are more problems here than dealing with an inheritance...
I'm sure there is some well-meaning reason behind this, but I think it's a slap in the face to your husband and hers. She wants it to stay in "family"? Seriously?
What an insult not to call your husband family. If you two have kids, each child will be half his blood - but he's still not "family"? Are the kids only half-family since they aren't 100% your bloodline?
What if she died and the husband remarried? And then he died without a will? Who inherits first, a second wife who is no blood kin of the original grantor of the inheritance or an adult child who is a blood kin?
Seriously, my father put what he inherited from my grandmother into a joint account with my step mother. As a result, HER children inherited what my grandmother left him because he died first.
A will would have solved that. I'm in the same boat with my father and his wife if he goes first. I pray she kicks it first... and soon.
Yeah, I can be evil but she's an evil woman.
You can't will away money that belongs to someone else. A joint account means the money defaults to the other account holder. No will is gonna trump that. The widow(er) need only to go to the bank, close the account, and open a new one in their name. It's that simple.
Sink her boat with her on it. You are I assume next-of-kin?
If she has no boat, you are SOL. Live with the beeech. Did she at least take you out to Capitol Grill?
Some people are insufferable. You may be one of them. And your wife another.
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. As i always made double her income and put everything in the pot i feel somewhat betrayed that now she has a financial windfall i have no say in any part of it and am now wondering if i was just a meal ticket all these years. had the situation been reversed i'd have probably invested much of the money but would have put a substantial amount in the joint accounts and said take what you need.
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