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I have really enjoyed these replies to my OP and found many of them very enlightening. I guess maybe I was having a bad day when I first posted my 'invisibilty in old age' question. But I take people as I find them, young or 'old' and this seems to work. In fact, a mate of mine from way back, joins me from time to time for coffee and we have a ball teasing or flattering young women in places we go. Nothing serious or sexist (well, at least we don't think we are being sexist) but just some fun banter maybe about their eyes, hair or names. It seems to have worked very positively and now we are known (and named) and smiled at in most of the places we frequent. We believe that many of these young ladies are neglected by way of compliments from the young men they know who just don't seem to know how to treat a lady!
I laughed hysterically at your original post.
I started to feel invisible at about 45. I realized, at one point, that I was simply not in the target demographic of people in places I went to. I was treated as invisible at retail stores, car lots, schools, etc. I simply seemed to not exist. It was a bit depressing, though on some levels, quite amusing and liberating. I did get rather angry when being ignored at places like Apple stores (grrrr), or other places where I try to purchase stuff. I now buy most stuff over the internet, Amazon doesn't care how old you are.
I can laugh at some instances of invisibility, but the invisibility is starting to have a very real $$ impact on my life.
As a person looking for a job at the ancient age of 56, I'm a bit perturbed that the invisibility seems to continue.
I know that age discrimination is illegal, but know it'd be impossible to determine if age discrimination is in play as I submit hundreds of resumes and online job applications with not a nibble. As a person with 30+ years of solid experience in technology, and one who continues to keep myself current with the languages and developmental methods that come and go in the software business like audio recording formats and pop stars, I am qualified for jobs at any level of a software shop. It's my personal prerogative to want to apply for jobs that pay less than I've earned in the past, or have less responsibility. I'm fortunate to have made enough in the past to be able to never have to work again (though I'm not by any means wealthy), and am therefore able to be able to aim for a job that suits me rather than one that demands an ever increasing salary.
If you and your wife mutually appreciate you and your friend's lust for the admiration of young women, that's all well and good. But don't go posting and whining about how you feel 'invisible' when said young women don't respond in kind. geez.
Well, my research suggests that the word 'lust' has a number of definitions but is generally used in a sexual context. Can't see anywhere in my posts where I talk about 'lusting' after young women! A bit pointless in my case as I am now impotent through prostate cancer treatment. Neither can I find anything that suggests I was 'whining' when young women don't respond to me! I get the impression that you have a bit of a hang-up about men you perceive as being 'sexist'. My OP was about my impression that as seniors, men and women, we seem to become invisible.
I'm 57 and work with some people my own age and others younger than myself. I never feel invisable or ignored or that I am being looked through. I'm a fairly assertive person and I would never let myself feel bad or pissed off because some one younger didn't acknowledge me. I guess I don't put that much stock/energy in that sort of interaction (or lack there of) with someone who is a complete stranger.
I think this sort of thing is something we have to work out within ourselves first before blaming strangers who simply walk passed us.
I seem to get lots of smies from so many young things, it makes me wonder. Maybe some have got the message about us old guys, Most of us have lived long enough to know something , maybe, just maybe they might find us interesting !
Or maybe they think you have money and they'd like to spend some of it!
Or maybe they think you have money and they'd like to spend some of it!
I have thought about that too...however its all relevant. See for me , a nice young lady is actually over 50. At that point in life, if thy are and were independent, maybe a little ***** in the mix getting ahead, its becoming more possible they may have more money then me ! I guess I have a little more respect for the independent woman, they have a high ladder to climb, something a little sexy about that....to me.
on the aging process, yes old guys are invisible but not stupid, its astounding, i know more now than the people i hire and have to help them complete their jobs, if i follow their advice and let them run with it, disaster results. to resolve any issue at all it must go to supervisor level. what is hilarious, if it were not so time consuming and costly, is that the young never for a moment doubt their own competence or judgement. pathetic stuff.
Wasn't it our( the bommer generation) who coined the saying:don't trust anyone over 30;at least the hippie section?
Yes, but after we got into our 30's, it became, "don't trust anyone under 30!"
Okay, what really pisses me off is this--the way our demographic is completely ignored by marketers of most types. Nobody tries to sell to us (except medical insurance), despite our having huge purchasing power!
Yes, but after we got into our 30's, it became, "don't trust anyone under 30!"
Okay, what really pisses me off is this--the way our demographic is completely ignored by marketers of most types. Nobody tries to sell to us (except medical insurance), despite our having huge purchasing power!
Well, if you loopk at all the members of our generation upside-down on their houses because they bought more than they could afford and with every "toy" known to man due to a combination of consumerism and the need for instant gratification who may have to work until they assume room temperature, that's probably a good thing.
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Wisdom or Cash?
