Men and Women retiring alone to a new city/state -- where will you go and why? (engage, grandmother)

[nancy thereader]

Thank you , too, wisteria. About my own time: Thanks for asking . I have always had the summers off so I will know more in September when everyone else is headed back to fix up their classroom & I am not.

[Umbria]

Originally Posted by localinsight

I am currently living in MN, after being an eastcoaster and westcoaster. Have been checking in on this thread from time to time, as it is interesting.

I wrote in to the Mexico forum to ask if anyone had ideas or experience in living in Mexico for retirement. I have been to Mexicali several times, for extended periods. Other than names of large border cities, no one wrote in.

Does anyone know anything about doing this as a US citizen? I imagine you would have to live in a border town to come back to the US for medicare, etc.

I would never do it without specific advice, as being single and female in one's own country can make you a mark for exploitation.

Another question - has anyone grown up on one coast, lived for most of their adult years on the other and then returned to the Former? I know you "can't go home again" and wouldn't try, was just wondering what it's like.

I enjoy the kindness of midwesterners. The big surprise here was the almost suspect attitude towards someone not from here who moved here without family. I was priced out of the CA rental market, along with thousands of others and was surprised that others would be surprised. I also live alone.

I will always miss MA because it seems like people there are more concerned with life outside of their little bubble. Relative to CA (southern, inland), I was liberal but I don't know about relative to MA. My remaining family is in NH, which I continue to not just conservative - kind of uncaring. Lots of natural beauty, though.

Hello, localinsight. Where in MN are you located? I am in Mpls and am a MN native - with 2 years in Denver (which I just loved). I have also experienced the attitude toward a single woman with no family - strike 1 & 2. I have to say, though, it is only in the past few years that I have sensed this. I have just recently found this thread and am just delighted that I did. I'm hearing (reading) so many of the same issues that I have and like the "ya-ya sisterhood" that seems to come from it. If you ever want to chat send me a message.

[Dancingearth]

Wisteria--I want to go too! Really this whole working thing really messes up life On your way to SA stop by and throw a pot or two. I almost am finished setting up the studio. Below are some pictures. I love the house but it feels very alone. I miss having friends close by--am considering looking for a housemate but it would really need to be the right person. I couldn't stand constant noise like a tv going all the time. I started walking to the bus stop a mile away so I get my exercise and save money. It's great having the choice to take the bus instead of having to drive all the time. Yesterday I found out I can still walk a 15 minute mile. The lightning and thunder coming my way was a great motivator! Made it home just in time for a NM downpour--wind--lightning--torrential rain. Afterwards the three little kids from a few houses away were at the corner having a good time letting cars splash water all over them as they drove by. Cute. It's nice to hear kids laughing and having a good time outside.

As I finish unpacking I'm looking for ways to make new friends here. I have many moments that I wonder why I live here when all my kids and family live on the eastcoast. Then I think about volunteering at the living history ranch which I love and of course, my job is here. The Santa Fe Singles group is very active--last week I went to the backstage tour of the Santa Fe Opera and this week I am going on an Owl Prowl hike. I've been wanting to make a clay owl so it will be an inspiration to get back to working with clay. I volunteered for the Annual Art and Crafts Show for Girls Inc on Sunday at the plaza. THAT was an experience. I talked to some interesting artists but mostly got grumped at because I was monitoring closing and giving out passes to get their cars in to pick up their booths and products. Next year I'll volunteer for a different job.

Good luck with the Spanish Wisteria. I should be taking it again--this is the place to learn it. Most of the people in my neighborhood speak Spanish--went to Walmart and that was pretty much all I heard. Maybe I'll pull out my cards I created to help me memorize and try again--would be good for on the bus.

MN2CO - welcome! Glad you found us.

Localinsight--I've thought about moving to Mexico when I retire but haven't researched it thoroughly. I believe there are websites to help you--look in the old threads on the Mexico thread--seems like I remember someone mentioning them. Here's one: Escape From America Magazine Volume Nine Issue Number One January 2007 Index I am attracted to the history of Latin America--right now I'm reading Open Veins of Latin America--someday I hope to visit.

Hasta luego.

[Umbria]

Thankyou, Dancingearth! I'm very happy to have met all of you. I've always had lots of friends, demanding job and then within 2 years, job gone, friends moved away to their retirement homes, several of my closest family members passed away as did my very best buddy and my dog died. Ugly, ugly time. So, time to find a new life and the dialogue I've read between all of you has helped - alot. Hope all goes well for you in Santa Fe - I've heard wonderful things about it and with your artistic talent, it sounds like a great fit. I plan to move o Colorado Springs, CO. Even though we may all end up in different places I think it would be a great plan to meet in these different places and keep this going. Good luck with your move!!!!!!!!

[Tesaje]

Santa Fe was listed as one of the healthiest cities for retirees in the AARP mag this month.

[Dancingearth]

Originally Posted by MN2CO

Thankyou, Dancingearth! I'm very happy to have met all of you. I've always had lots of friends, demanding job and then within 2 years, job gone, friends moved away to their retirement homes, several of my closest family members passed away as did my very best buddy and my dog died. Ugly, ugly time. So, time to find a new life and the dialogue I've read between all of you has helped - alot. Hope all goes well for you in Santa Fe - I've heard wonderful things about it and with your artistic talent, it sounds like a great fit. I plan to move o Colorado Springs, CO. Even though we may all end up in different places I think it would be a great plan to meet in these different places and keep this going. Good luck with your move!!!!!!!!

That's a lot of grief and change in two years. How have you coped? I use to have a book called The Woman's Comfort Book that gave great suggestions for self nurturing. I gave it to a friend and need to get another copy. I always find reading Sark uplifting in times of stress. I've heard good things about Colorado Springs, sounds like a good plan to start over.

Last night's knitting group was great--four women sitting around knitting, the talk rambling from men, sewing, family, men and the weird things they tell us single women, jobs, exercise, did I mention men? All the things women like to discuss but bore most men. Friday one woman is going to come along on the Owl Prowl hike and another wanted to but has eight costumes to sew for a theater. I might have found some women that want to do things! Cool. I highly suggest anyone learning to knit and finding a knitting group when you move to a new area--I find I like women who knit. This one was from Meetup--another great resource for meeting new people in neutral settings. I like that it is all ages--young people are knitting again.

Let us know how the move goes and your adventures!

[Wisteria]

DancingEarth: Last night's knitting group was great--four women sitting around knitting, the talk rambling from men, sewing, family, men and the weird things they tell us single women, jobs, exercise, did I mention men? All the things women like to discuss but bore most men. Friday one woman is going to come along on the Owl Prowl hike and another wanted to but has eight costumes to sew for a theater. I might have found some women that want to do things! Cool. I highly suggest anyone learning to knit and finding a knitting group when you move to a new area--I find I like women who knit. This one was from Meetup--another great resource for meeting new people in neutral settings. I like that it is all ages--young people are knitting again.

Great idea!! I love to crochet, but haven't learned to knit -- I'd like to try that, too. It's so comforting to crochet, and it's so relaxing. I hadn't thought of a group of women doing it together, so thanks for the tip. Of course, there are quilting bees, but knitting and crocheting are both wonderful, too. Thanks again for mentioning it!

[Umbria]

Last night's knitting group was great--four women sitting around knitting, the talk rambling from men, sewing, family, men and the weird things they tell us single women, jobs, exercise, did I mention men? All the things women like to discuss but bore most men. Friday one woman is going to come along on the Owl Prowl hike and another wanted to but has eight costumes to sew for a theater. I might have found some women that want to do things! Cool. I highly suggest anyone learning to knit and finding a knitting group when you move to a new area--I find I like women who knit. This one was from Meetup--another great resource for meeting new people in neutral settings. I like that it is all ages--young people are knitting again.

Let us know how the move goes and your adventures![/quote]

Thanks for your kind words. The worst is over and now it's time for all happinessness & sunshine Knitting - I know the basics, taught by MOM - her fingers use to go like lightning. It was her stress reliever and she made some really terrific things.

BTW - Wisteria, I went to school for Sociology/Psch. I made it 3 1/2 years and then due to many different road blocks decided to take a temp. time out , earn some money and go back - this time more toward Psych. But, once I started making money I got hooked - I was making as much as I would have with the degree in Soc. (without a masters) and after 26 years - well, just lost interest I guess. I'll bet it was an interesting field, though. Also, as a side note - I'll bet you are going to miss your daughter when she goes off to school - adjustment time!!!

Lovely day here in MN - NO HUMIDITY - we can get almost as bad as FL sometimes. I'm puting in a stone walk way in the back - keeps me from getting all out of shape. Oh, yes - then I have to mow (common, no jealousy!!!!!) Then groom the dog..................it never ends. I can't remember the last time I was bored. When I move you are invited to come and stay and see Colo Sprngs - it's gorgeous!!!!!!!!!! I have been checking out Las Cruces - it looks enticing. I've decided to do one more winter in MN () so who know how I will feel next spring - hoping home prices are better. Take care, all - have a good weekend.

[Wisteria]

MN2CO: BTW - Wisteria, I went to school for Sociology/Psch. I made it 3 1/2 years and then due to many different road blocks decided to take a temp. time out , earn some money and go back - this time more toward Psych. But, once I started making money I got hooked - I was making as much as I would have with the degree in Soc. (without a masters) and after 26 years - well, just lost interest I guess. I'll bet it was an interesting field, though. Also, as a side note - I'll bet you are going to miss your daughter when she goes off to school - adjustment time!!!

Lovely day here in MN - NO HUMIDITY - we can get almost as bad as FL sometimes. I'm puting in a stone walk way in the back - keeps me from getting all out of shape. Oh, yes - then I have to mow (common, no jealousy!!!!!) Then groom the dog..................it never ends. I can't remember the last time I was bored. When I move you are invited to come and stay and see Colo Sprngs - it's gorgeous!!!!!!!!!! I have been checking out Las Cruces - it looks enticing. I've decided to do one more winter in MN () so who know how I will feel next spring - hoping home prices are better. Take care, all - have a good weekend.

Thanks! Social Work, though, is a very difficult job -- one works with those with the worst problems -- it can be depressing. It's great when you get to see someone succeed, however, the downs are more frequent than the highs. Taking on other people's problems can be very wearing. I enjoy teaching my art class (Drawing from the Right Side of the Brain) at night much more....

I am going to miss my daughter more than I imagined! Just last night we were both telling the other how we are going to miss each other. We are very close, and she is a great daughter and a fun companion. All the more reason I have to start a new chapter of my own life, while she is starting a new chapter of hers.

I was also seriously considering Colorado Springs. It is very lovely. I lived in Boulder for five years, and adored it at the time. Last year, I took a trip back to Colorado and went through New Mexico. I stayed in Colorado Springs again, and I also had a friend who lived there for years, with whom I had stayed -- but this time it just didn't feel right -- neither did Boulder. I was really surprised. I love the Rocky Mountains, and I loved hiking through the Garden of the Gods. But it just didn't click with me. What surprised me was when we traveled through New Mexico -- which I had also been through before and had stayed with a friend who lived in Albuquerque at the time -- and discovered I felt strangely drawn to it! It was quite a switch in my mind, because I truly thought I was moving back to Colorado, yet New Mexico felt "right."

I enjoyed Truth or Consequences a lot, however, in thinking about needing services, and wanting a college nearby, I am now leaning toward Las Cruces. I hope to make another trip back there in the winter/spring to explore it more in depth. For me, it would be a "compromise" city, because I won't have the money to relocate to a oceanside community or anything like that, but it seems to feel comfortable. It does have mountains (which I love), hiking trails, is small enough, yet large enough, good weather, lots of sunshine, and the price is right!

It's an odd thing choosing a place that feels right, but still is affordable, pretty, good weather, and all of the other factors that make a place a home. I have no idea if I will love living there or not, but I am willing to give it a go.

You know, I have never been to Minnesota -- it has been on my list of places to visit. It is supposed to be quite pretty. I know it has a lot of cold and snow, but being from Buffalo, New York, originally, I don't think that would matter to me. I hear Minneapolis is a very nice city! And the people I've known from there, or know who have moved there, are really nice people. My dad's from Wisconsin, so it's not that far from there -- similar places. And I'm part Norwegian, so I think I'd fit in. However, the warmth and sunshine and wide open spaces of New Mexico are calling me.....I can hear them now!

[Umbria]

Wisteria - MN is nice and not near as cold as it use to be - "Why I remember back in the day...." I really was much colder with much more snow. Now, last year was a devil- not much snow but we had more -0 days than we had had in the past years combined. BUT, I want something much milder. I lived in Denver for 2 years '92-'94 and the sun!!!!!!!!!!! MN has a midwestern haze (I never knew this until the Denver people explained it to me) - Colorado was my choice because I still know some people there. I drove there last Nov and stayed with my old boss. Met a friend in Colo Sprngs for lunch. Denver is too big for a retirement location - Colo Sprngs is getting hugh as well - it's hard to find that "community" in a large city. I had planned to have this house sold and be on my way by fall, but the advice I've been getting from many is to sit tight - now is not the time to sell or buy. I'm anxious to begin my next chapter but I guess I must be patient ( ). I really hadn't considered NM. I'd always thought of NM as being a very poor state. I was just reading on CD that many of the CO companies are moving to NM - so with more jobs, that could change. I searched homes in LC and the prices are great!!!!! I intend to rent In CO until I'm absolutely sure that is where I want to be because the very same thing could happen to me - I could get there and it would feel all wrong. As you know, house selling is the pits!! I was originally determined to go to FL - went down to check it out. Way too crowded, too expensive (housing, property tax & ins.) and I don't want to have to worry 1/2 of the year if a hurricane is going to destroy everything. There's also a social status thing going on there - what kind of car you drive is BIG - that's how your valuue as a human is determined (I know you love that one!! FL is out - people are leaving there in droves.

Social work is tough - towards the end of my college days we watched so many films and the beauracracy was more than I felt I would be able to handle. Not only are you dealing with other peoples problems but then your hands are tied every which way so how effective can you really be??? You are a tough woman to be able to do it. I can understand why teaching art is so much more gratifying. Which tells me you have alot of talents.

I think I was meant to be in Interior Design. Why didn't I ? Life.

You are very blessed to have your daughter. Something tells me that you will be able to deal with the separation quite nicely. If only you could stay in your CA home (lottery anyone...)


I'm also part Norwegian (part British). Boy could I get you with Norwegian jokes!! Ive rambled too long here - good luck with whatever you decide to do.. I am going to check out Las Cruces before I commit to a home in CO.