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"Feel fabulous" why... Because they're so comfortable? Or because you think you look good -- TO OTHERS -- in them? People really just don't even get the point I'm trying to make here. I give up.
We do - we or I just like messing with you!
You want us all to go out au-natural. If you don't you are a self hating something or other.
Hey - I have gray hair and cut it really short. I've had some people beg me to let it grow and color it - not my other half though. But I can't give up my lipstick and mascara!!
Oh, and I felt fabulous about the hair and make-up. Clothes? Not so much. I wore a uniform for over 20 years, and I still wear a type of uniform daily - buy several of the same pants and tops. And NOT in different colors - same color - so yea - a uniform. But I still look great!!
otterhere, I understand your points about being natural and looking natural. They are valid points. And not over-using makeup or other artifices. And not being a slave to presenting oneself in a race to meet questionable standards.
But using some make-up to better one's appearance is fine with me. I really dislike over-use of eye shadow, and eyeshadow in blue and green looks ridiculous and clownish to me. (muted colors can look beautiful)
Some makeup of various sorts can enhance.
There are many women, or at least a good number, of various ages, who look wonderful without even minimal makeup. And some women would look better without the garish makeup they wear.
Your point about not being too much of a people-pleaser is valid too, rather than being true to oneself. Unselfishness, altruism and being a giving person need to be balanced with integrity of the self, although the former is very important.
Last edited by matisse12; 11-25-2015 at 03:06 PM..
Again, "look good for yourself"... Yourself can't see yourself unless yourself is looking in a mirror at yourself, so yourself is obviously doing it to please others. I simply wonder why women feel compelled to do this, whereas men don't (I'm not talking about good hygiene or grooming, but the use of artifice with makeup -- a.k.a. "war paint" -- and hair dye or labor-intensive styling). If doing so "gives you a boost of confidence," it belies the fact that you feel less than confident about yourself in your natural clean and well-groomed state, which I just find sad.
I would venture to guess that even the most self-confident among us would not present ourselves in public without some artifice or other. I fully admit I am less than "confident" about my looks, so I do what I can to make myself look the best I can with what I have. I have naturally great eyes, but at age 67 I look washed out without a little eye enhancement, for instance. Going au naturel is great if you have perfect skin, great facial bones, and few or no bags and sags. The bags and sags are hard to cover up, if at all, so calling attention to the eyes through careful makeup is a strategy. It's a longterm choice how to present ourselves. And yes I agree, those who are good looking enough to go barefaced are good to see, but not the end-all.
I don't have clear skin, nothing really outstanding about my face, etc. But if I want to go somewhere and I don't feel like putting anything on my face to make it look better, I don't.
The only thing I worry about is how my hair looks. If it looks good, the rest of me is good, too, IMHO.
"Feel fabulous" why... Because they're so comfortable? Or because you think you look good -- TO OTHERS -- in them? People really just don't even get the point I'm trying to make here. I give up.
Apparently YOU don't get the point that one has to look good to themselves first.
"Going au naturel is great if you have perfect skin"...
Why do we feel we must look "perfect" (or as close to it as possible by any means necessary) before going out into the world? Sad!
Maybe few of us risk it, but I am one of them. If people don't like how I look, they can look away. I was not put on earth to be a feast for others' eyes, nor to waste my life worrying about how I look or what strangers think of it... SMH! I look *good enough* to myself as I am, just as every man on the planet apparently thinks he does after a shower, as I don't see any of them applying "just a touch of mascara and lipstick." If it's a big to-do or a romantic date and I want to be a knock-out, I know how and enjoy it (after all, cosmetics are historically all about attracting the opposite sex; read "The Anatomy of Love" by Helen Fischer). To go buy a gallon of milk? Not necessary, and I don't waste my time and money.
Apparently I'm the weird one here, but that's okay with me, too!
I guess we've gotten far afield of hair, but I will concede: to pull off the super-short (masculine, if you will) buzz cut, a woman really does need a "perfect" face -- good bone structure, small and feminine features, ideally heart-shaped -- and great earrings and makeup DO help here, but NOT for taking out the trash or going to the mailbox.
Last edited by otterhere; 11-26-2015 at 05:04 AM..
"Going au naturel is great if you have perfect skin"...
Why do we feel we must look "perfect" (or as close to it as possible by any means necessary) before going out into the world? Sad!
Maybe few of us risk it, but I am one of them. If people don't like how I look, they can look away. I was not put on earth to be a feast for others' eyes, nor to waste my life worrying about how I look or what strangers think of it... SMH! I look *good enough* to myself as I am, just as every man on the planet apparently thinks he does after a shower, as I don't see any of them applying "just a touch of mascara and lipstick." If it's a big to-do or a romantic date and I want to be a knock-out, I know how and enjoy it (after all, cosmetics are historically all about attracting the opposite sex; read "The Anatomy of Love" by Helen Fischer). To go buy a gallon of milk? Not necessary, and I don't waste my time and money.
Apparently I'm the weird one here, but that's okay with me, too!
I guess we've gotten far afield of hair, but I will concede: to pull off the super-short (masculine, if you will) buzz cut, a woman really does need a "perfect" face -- good bone structure, small and feminine features, ideally heart-shaped -- and great earrings and makeup DO help here, but NOT for taking out the trash or going to the mailbox.
While I agree that spending inordinate amounts of time on one's face and hair is probably a waste of time and may be driven by vanity, you are being unfair to women by implying that they should be able to just adopt the minimal grooming practices of us men. It's easy for us to say that we don't care about spending all that time on ourselves when societal expectations in general are so different, and that remains true even if we posit that women lay much of the burden on themselves. Notice I wrote "much of the burden", not "all of the burden".
I am very much like you - if I shower, including washing my hair, shave, and apply underarm deodorant, I am good to go even for the most formal occasions. I don't put anything in my hair, not even conditioner (it is in perfectly satisfactory condition as it is). I have never given even the slightest thought to coloring it either, never having been dissatisfied with its color. I do not put anything on my face either. Sure, we men, at least we older men, have to take care of our nose and ear hair, but that is not a daily activity, thank goodness.
We have it easy. And you are being unfair to women.
To put it plainly and not bother with PC crap:
some gals are just naturally stunning. Some of us are not (me in this category) and need help.
I've seen some (not a ton) women who look to be 50+ with zero makeup and graying/white hair who were like pieces of artwork, so beautiful. More than a few of these were Black ladies and their skin had nary a wrinkle. When I complimented them they were far older than I thought, like by 10 or more years. Just enviable. Some white gals with flowing, thick grey hair and startling, gorgeous features.
The rest of us who are not in the naturally stunning category can keep trying to fool ourselves by using fake stuff but honestly I am sure most men will not find us hot nor sexy when we appear to be 50+.
As I posted earlier I played up my good features and downplayed my flaws for years and years and years and now am free of it and am kinda digging being a frumpy old bag.
"...but honestly I am sure most men will not find us hot nor sexy when we appear to be 50+."
Do you CARE if men find you hot or sexy? As I said, if you're out to please a particular man or attract a new one, go for it. That's the historic purpose of cosmetics (back to Cleopatra)... If not, why bother; who cares?
I used to really care when I was marketing myself so to speak i.e. seeking a husband.
Now heelll nah. I wouldn't take a husband if one appeared on my doorstep wrapped in a bow.
I just think gals who think men consider them hot after 50 are fooling themselves, most males will say what the wives/Gfs need to hear but cmon.
If I were partnered I'd be sad and worried about my hag status but being alone it's a non issue.
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