Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think its interesting that in 10 pages of replies virtually no one mentioned staying fit for their spouse's sake. Perhaps it's a sign that the relationship has evolved into more of a companionship. May just be fact of life.
Actually part of my motivation to stay fit is for my spouse's sake. It's not because I want to look sexy. He loves me at any weight and doesn't seem to notice if I gain or lose. He himself is at least 50 lbs. overweight, extremely out of shape and never exercises.
He is eight years older than I am. I realize that sometime in the near future I will probably become his caregiver, and it will be a lot harder to cope with the challenges if I am obese like he is and dealing with all the associated health problems that come with that. I can see how he's gone downhill both mentally and physically because of his sedentary lifestyle, and I don't want that to happen to me.
Since I've retired, I have become increasingly more inclined to not worry about my weight as long as I FEEL good (or at least healthy). In other words, I am no longer as concerned with even trying to look good. There are three reasons for this: First, the thinner I am, the older my skin looks; second, it is hard to be motivated now when I look old no matter what I do or how much I weigh; and third, as I am finding fewer and fewer things I enjoy doing now, it is difficult for me to say No to desserts and snacks and seconds if I feel hungry. In short, my motivation to even try to look "attractive" is completely shot.
Do any of you feel this way? And if not, how do YOU stay motivated to be as attractive as you can be?
I work out almost every day and have for decades. I do keep my weight in check and exercise for me, but also for my spouse. I want to be attractive to my spouse, and he does the same. I like sex and sex is better now than when when we were 40 because we have time now in retirement! Doing an hour workout or eschewing eating like no tomorrow isn't fun. It is a habit and discipline. I like how I feel after a workout: pumped, accomplished, tired, invigorated. I always tell myself I can have that extra piece of pizza tomorrow. It doesn't have to be eaten today.
I don't think I'll ever give up maintaining an "attractive" weight. Yes, I like to be "attractive for my husband, but mostly for myself. I also want to be fit and healthy, be the best I can be at age 69. I know keeping a low weight and continuing exercise keeps me fit and healthy. We enjoy being active, we need as much energy as possible to do this, carrying extra weight is a hindrance.
I think its interesting that in 10 pages of replies virtually no one mentioned staying fit for their spouse's sake. Perhaps it's a sign that the relationship has evolved into more of a companionship. May just be fact of life.
By retirement age most women's spouses are likely 5 years older than they are...and have taken less care of themselves than their wives. That's why so many women are sick of the hair, makeup, and not eating what they want for their whole lives! Then on top of that, they take a look over at their husband and see someone with an ever-expanding beer gut from age 30 onward...and say "maybe I'll go back on a diet after he's lost 50 pounds!"
I was a size 0 when I was a youngster. My wedding ring was a size 4 with yarn wrapped around it. I was not anorectic either, 5' 2" and 115 to 125.
I had to run 2.5 miles 5 days a week to maintain that. I had way more muscle mass than women my age which made me look artificially "fat" on the scales because those "weight" charts back then assumed women must have about no muscle mass, which weighs more than fat. I'm not sure that's changed even today.
I got older and had to go to cycling, 30 to 50 miles 3 or 4 days a week. Cycling takes a lot longer than running but a lot easier on the knees, feet, and ankles. I went up to about 145lb spring thru fall to 160 lbs in winter.
Then I became disabled. Now when I try even mild exercise I am flattened for days. There's a name for that and it is NOT "exercise fatigue" but I cannot for the life of me remember the correct term. At my worst I was around 235 to 240. Still 5' 2" tall though.
I managed to lose about 25 to 30 lbs after years of stringent dieting involving yam noodle stir fry (0 calories, 0 carbs in them thar noodles). I lost another 20 lbs or so due to medical marijuana - which was the opposite of what I feared from that quarter but I'm not complaining. I could stand to lose another 40 lbs or so, which, while still technically overweight for my height, would be good enough for me.
As far as my APPEARANCE, I don't give a crap. I have NEVER given much of a crap, and then only mildly and for short periods. I don't wear dirty clothes unless I'm in the process of dirtying them (like working in my yard). I have never worn makeup and I don't plan to start now. I wear clothing that I am COMFORTABLE in - which means salwar and leggings and big flowy tunics or sweaters in season. And sandals. I've not worn a shoe except when mowing for over 30 years. I don't cut my hair, EVER. If I'm having a "bad hair day" where the curl has been pulled out of my hair for whatever reason, I don't primp, I just put it up in a pony tail.
No, I don't care if my appearance meets some total stranger's approval. I'm not in the market for a "romantic" relationship so I don't care about that either. And the only "perfume" I have ever much cared for is now so stupidly expensive its totally out of my reach (sandalwood oil).
So yes, I am happily sinking into my elder years in yoga pants and big tops and sandals and no makeup and definitely the wind-blown look for my hair. And I do not care.
I especially do not care whether or not someone else cares.
My husband and I are both fit and slim and we like it that way. He never, ever gains weight and can eat what he wants. I tend to gain, and have recently lost 30 lbs. I was going in the wroooong direction with weight and we are now eating low carb high fat diet which has done wonders for our vitality. He is 71, I will be 62 this year.
We talk about this subject occasionally-how we are in the minority for our age group - fit, slim, healthy, no meds, exercise regularly, eat a whole foods, good diet.
But then, I don't see too many obese 70 year olds out there. They die, that's why.
Again, thanks to EVERYONE for all the great posts -- but I particularly wanted to address the above post and compliment Fern for making a very good point in the second paragraph above.
A couple of you, however, have seemed to need some clarification as to what I mean by "attractive weight" versus "feel good/healthy weight". At my current weight, at which I am healthy and feel good, my BMI is 23, which is considered to be normal and healthy, with no additional weight loss recommended.
However, my husband and I both have thought (at least until recently) that my figure looks best being one size smaller and ten pounds lighter than my current weight, although I have always had to rigorously diet to keep the ten pounds off. The point is that maybe I would look better if I lost the ten pounds, but as I have to be very conscientious about my diet to maintain that weight, I just no longer feel that constantly having to diet is worth it now at almost 64 years old.
(And, also, just for the record, since high school, I have always been just slightly above average in looks, percentile-wise, so, no, I have not considered myself to be unattractive since leaving junior high, when I wore very thick glasses and had very crooked teeth -- BUT, to emphasize, I completely agree with what Fern435 wrote in the second paragraph above!)
Just cut your carbs to 20grams a day. Magical. No more starving.
My husband and I are both fit and slim and we like it that way. He never, ever gains weight and can eat what he wants. I tend to gain, and have recently lost 30 lbs. I was going in the wroooong direction with weight and we are now eating low carb high fat diet which has done wonders for our vitality. He is 71, I will be 62 this year.
We talk about this subject occasionally-how we are in the minority for our age group - fit, slim, healthy, no meds, exercise regularly, eat a whole foods, good diet.
But then, I don't see too many obese 70 year olds out there. They die, that's why.
the opposite worked for me . high carb -low fat .. the higher fat restricted the volume of food for the same calorie intake so higher carb and protein gave me more food volume .
that is why those weight watcher dinners fail . to provide as much fat as they do , the volume of food is less and hunger is a pain . just like trying to breath 1/2 a lung of air long term is impossible , i find having to restrict the volume of food you eat to less than what leaves you full is doomed to fail.
i am pre diabetic today so i have to watch carbs so i eat more in fat and protein than i used to and for the equivalent calories i am always hungry ,
Yes, I feel like OP.
I am about 20-30# over my ideal weight, yet I eat very little and eat healthy. The only real improvement I could make is to eliminate the evening cocktail.
I take care of myself. I have given up worrying about my weight. I have also given up feeling guilty about not being very active. My most pressing ailment is arthritic knees, which makes any form of activity more difficult.
So be it. Maybe my body is storing a reserve of fat that I will need later. Both my grandmothers were a bit plump, so you can't fight heredity.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
