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I think because my mother, who is 82, has always kept herself up, my sister and I have done so also. Even in her early 60's, my mom could turn heads when she walked into a room. I could stand to lose 10-15 pounds but I go to the gym, dress well, wear make-up when I leave the house & keep my hair in a stylish cut that doesn't scream 62 year old woman. I am never going to wear matronly clothing and I hate capris on a short woman and even living in very hot and humid Florida I will never wear them outside of my house. I still take pride in my appearance and I find it a little sad when people just give up because they retired.
I would not even go to the store without at least mascara and lipstick. And if you ever see me wearing crocs, please shoot me. In my opinion they are the ugliest shoes ever created and they just scream "I've given up". Ditto for walking around without your dentures or with missing teeth. I could never do it but I am from NYC and many of us just seem to be a little more stylish than Jane Doe from the Midwest. No insult intended, it's just the way it is, just like our different accents.
Some women just don't want to make that extra effort after a certain age, especially if they weren't that attractive to begin with (OP - I'm not saying you are unattractive), it's just something I've heard some woman say.
Diabetes runs in both sides of my family so I must concern myself with keeping my weight down so I don't wind up like my dad who died from diabetes complications.
I don't feel that your post was directed at me, although I think I was the only one who mentioned the potential loss of a tooth ), but do you think giving up trying to maintain an "attractive" weight is the same as "giving up" ?
I didn't think your post was insulting. I do wonder what "Jane Doe from the Midwest" thinks. Thinking more about my crocs after reading your post than my tooth My feet haven't hurt since I started wearing them, and I am much more attractive when my feet don't hurt.
Is "trying too hard" the opposite of "giving up" ?
Nope, totally opposite. Not having the stress of working( which tended to cause me to eat too many unhealthy foods)has given me more time to care about my weight, appearance, clothes(I was always a bit of clothes horse). I live in a very, walkable urban area. I don't need a car so I ditched it. I walk a LOT. I feel better than I have in years. What motivates me? Life does and having the time now to enjoy it.
I joked before about not looking in the mirror but this is exactly what my serious answer would be as well.
Sitting indoors at a desk all day long is not healthy. One of the things I looked for in retirement was the freedom to be able to get up and move when I wanted and eat when I needed. No designated lunch hour any longer. The last is important because I graze now more than eat three squares. And it's pretty healthy stuff since I have access to my own fridge.
And no temptations of the great baked goods people would bring to the office to share for which I had no resistance.
Since I've retired, I have become increasingly more inclined to not worry about my weight as long as I FEEL good (or at least healthy). In other words, I am no longer as concerned with even trying to look good. There are three reasons for this: First, the thinner I am, the older my skin looks; second, it is hard to be motivated now when I look old no matter what I do or how much I weigh; and third, as I am finding fewer and fewer things I enjoy doing now, it is difficult for me to say No to desserts and snacks and seconds if I feel hungry. In short, my motivation to even try to look "attractive" is completely shot.
Do any of you feel this way? And if not, how do YOU stay motivated to be as attractive as you can be?
In some ways, I think how we dress and look as we age goes back to how we were raised. Even as a young child, I was expected to "get dressed" if we were going out. There were at home clothes, and going out clothes. Going out meant wearing a dress, hair in braids, everything clean and mended - even if we were just picking up groceries. For example, my father wore jeans at home, but always changed to dress pants to go out. He didn't own a t-shirt, just dress shirts for work, and older dress shirts for home.
I don't think weight really matters - we come in all shapes and sizes - but overweight does matter, especially if we don't want to be bedridden at end of life. What I'm seeing is that overweight seniors can no longer support that weight and have little alternative to being bedridden with occasional, supported/assisted wheel chair excursions. I don't think that's a happy reality for anyone.
Ensuring that women look good as they age does not mean looking sexy. I think women should drop the "sexy" thing when they're ready to leave the "love me for my looks" thing behind. That could happen at any age. Does looking "attractive" mean looking "sexy", and wanting to turn heads, or wanting to look put together with dignity? I think it's important to look put together if only to send a message to everyone from predators to youth that you deserve respect regardless of age.
Some women just don't want to make that extra effort after a certain age, especially if they weren't that attractive to begin with (OP - I'm not saying you are unattractive), it's just something I've heard some woman say.
Actually, that is exactly what you are saying, and you might want to realize that your attitude toward other women seems to be pretty judgemental. The qualifier "it's just something I've heard some woman say" does not distance you from the statement.
I have many female friends my age who still dye their hair, wear a lot of makeup, wouldn't be caught dead out of the house in casual clothing - they are always worried about what OTHER people think and desperate to still be the head-turner they were when they were 30. Aging is very hard on them, ceding that "it" girl thing to younger generations. One of my oldest friends has gone through multiple plastic surgeries, goes to the "med spa" monthly, but in her mind she seems to think she can look 30. Nope, only the right genetics can make you look that much younger than you are.
I didn't care about turning men's heads when I was 20 and I still don't care. I made the mistake of seeing myself through "my man" when I was 18 and learned quickly how silly that was. When I worked in a professional office, I dressed professionally at work (or on business trips). I was very happy to shed that costume and give all that clothing away.
Some women dress up and wear makeup because it is the only way they feel "comfortable" with themselves. But do it for yourself, not because you worry that "other people" might judge you or men might not find you attractive.
My definition of attractive has changed over the years. I don't need to spend the time that I used to mostly because I use little or no makeup nowadays. Natural is in. Foundation is all I wear now, and even that has to be for a special occasion.
When I was young, heavy makeup was in -- bright lips, heavy foundation, dark blush, enough mascara on eyelashes to look like spiders, blue eyeshadow, etc. We all must have looked like tarts in those days! Seeing someone with lots of color on their face these days looks dated.
Now I think that attractive is being clean and looking fresh and wearing well-fitted clothing suitable for your age. Because I'm in a hot climate, I spend most of my time when out in shorts, nice shirts, and sneakers. Replace the shorts for jeans in cooler weather. I don't think you need to dress in fancy clothes to look attractive. You need to dress in clothes that look good on you and are in good shape. Sometimes I forget to replace my sneakers because they're just so darn comfortable, and that can look sloppy.
It can be easy to let the weight pile on when retiring because of the change in routine. I had a health problem a few years ago that made me see the wisdom of healthy eating and maintaining a good weight. I'm told that I look younger and better since I've been eating a very healthy diet, and that makes me feel attractive.
Last edited by StillRoaming; 07-29-2017 at 09:53 AM..
Actually, that is exactly what you are saying, and you might want to realize that your attitude toward other women seems to be pretty judgemental. The qualifier "it's just something I've heard some woman say" does not distance you from the statement.
I have many female friends my age who still dye their hair, wear a lot of makeup, wouldn't be caught dead out of the house in casual clothing - they are always worried about what OTHER people think and desperate to still be the head-turner they were when they were 30. Aging is very hard on them, ceding that "it" girl thing to younger generations. One of my oldest friends has gone through multiple plastic surgeries, goes to the "med spa" monthly, but in her mind she seems to think she can look 30. Nope, only the right genetics can make you look that much younger than you are.
I didn't care about turning men's heads when I was 20 and I still don't care. I made the mistake of seeing myself through "my man" when I was 18 and learned quickly how silly that was. When I worked in a professional office, I dressed professionally at work (or on business trips). I was very happy to shed that costume and give all that clothing away.
Some women dress up and wear makeup because it is the only way they feel "comfortable" with themselves. But do it for yourself, not because you worry that "other people" might judge you or men might not find you attractive.
Since I've retired, I have become increasingly more inclined to not worry about my weight as long as I FEEL good (or at least healthy). In other words, I am no longer as concerned with even trying to look good. There are three reasons for this: First, the thinner I am, the older my skin looks; second, it is hard to be motivated now when I look old no matter what I do or how much I weigh; and third, as I am finding fewer and fewer things I enjoy doing now, it is difficult for me to say No to desserts and snacks and seconds if I feel hungry. In short, my motivation to even try to look "attractive" is completely shot.
Do any of you feel this way? And if not, how do YOU stay motivated to be as attractive as you can be?
My DW has maintained her figure throughout her life. Currently over 70 and with a BMI of 17.5 she has and maintains a perfect figure . She eats what she wants, just doesn't find food enticing or tempting. Lucky that way!
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), but do you think giving up trying to maintain an "attractive" weight is the same as "giving up" ?
My feet haven't hurt since I started wearing them, and I am much more attractive when my feet don't hurt.
