Growing Old All Alone (long distance, get married, grandmother, relationship)

[NewbieHere]

I looked at the group trips from my senior center and they are very expensive, I can book similar trips for much less money. But if I’m single and old like in my 80s, I wouldn’t mind spending money going with other people.

[Mr5150]

Originally Posted by charlygal

Anywho, I've been single/alone my entire life. I have no fear going into retirement. It just takes good planning assuming no major health issues

Good luck on the health thing

Having been alone all your life is fine. But for most people living alone is not a happy or healthy thing. Losing a life parter after X number of years is devastating. I talked to a woman at church Christmas Eve who lost her husband three years ago. She said she still finds the holidays a difficult time.

[Clemencia53]

My old neighborhood has become a place of widows and divorcees.

This is the perfect setup for what i have wanted to do - build a little commune for those without partners or close family. And even if they do have family close by - not all want to go live with them.

Each would have their own casita plus a general gathering place when they do want to hang out with others

[adams_aj]

Gender differences. Men want companions and someone to "do things for them", and women are tired of "doing things for men".

Most men want a "nurse with a purse".

Most men are tired of being the "nurse with a purse".

[marino760]

Originally Posted by Clemencia53

My old neighborhood has become a place of widows and divorcees.

This is the perfect setup for what i have wanted to do - build a little commune for those without partners or close family. And even if they do have family close by - not all want to go live with them.

Each would have their own casita plus a general gathering place when they do want to hang out with others

Sounds a lot like Senior housing. Not much new about it.

[Teacher Terry]

I think that when women spend years taking care of a sick spouse and they die of course they are glad to be free. It’s different if your spouse is healthy and you enjoy doing things together. I wouldn’t remarry if I lost my husband but would be open to a boyfriend.

[fluffythewondercat]

One of the nice things about being alone is no constant stream of negativity.

[fallstaff]

Originally Posted by organic_donna

You can’t imagine the pain of living alone? I was married for 10 years, and have been divorced since 1997. I have no interest in having a spouse. I love living alone and wouldn’t have it any other way. I can’t imagine the pain of being married.

I can dig it. For me it's The Joy of living alone and the pain of having to live with someone else around all the time.

[thrillobyte]

Originally Posted by Clemencia53

yea - my mom didn't have an actual away from home job, but always handled the money.

But then there was the extreme version of in control men. I know one lady about 70 - she said her father didn't even let her mom do the grocery shopping. I guess he didnt trust her with money.

And our across the street neighbor. We rarely saw her leave the house. It wasn't until the husband passed away that she "bloomed".

Probably squirreled away all her husband's checks and had a nice little nest egg to live it up on once he was out of the way. Who can blame her?!

[fluffythewondercat]

Originally Posted by Clemencia53

My old neighborhood has become a place of widows and divorcees.

This is the perfect setup for what i have wanted to do - build a little commune for those without partners or close family. And even if they do have family close by - not all want to go live with them.

Each would have their own casita plus a general gathering place when they do want to hang out with others

I like it.

I have seen vaguely similar setups that I didn't care much for because they enforce certain kinds of behavior which, in my view, should be voluntary. One such is Manzanita Village:

Manzanita Village Cohousing - What is Cohousing?

Of course, if a person decides to buy or build at something like Manzanita Village, they can't say they weren't warned.

But I think your concept has potential.