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Depending on where you live, so many things can be delivered to your home.
A friend of mine had a couple knee & foot surgeries and she was telling me about how the grocery store delivers to your home. She said as long as you spent $35 they delivered for free (probably varies depending where you live). She loved it. She didn't have to worry about lugging heavy cat litter or dog food bags. She tips the driver and said its well worth it. They bring it right to your door.
A friend of mine had a couple knee & foot surgeries and she was telling me about how the grocery store delivers to your home. She said as long as you spent $35 they delivered for free (probably varies depending where you live). She loved it. She didn't have to worry about lugging heavy cat litter or dog food bags. She tips the driver and said its well worth it. They bring it right to your door.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,759 posts, read 58,161,153 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal
Anyone notice how this conversation is falling along gender lines? So far, most of the men seem to need a wife or female companion. Most of the women are fine being single/alone.
Anywho, I've been single/alone my entire life. I have no fear going into retirement. It just takes good planning assuming no major health issues
I have known both genders to have desires for remarriage and to seek staying single. Of the 10 + couples we have helped transition through loss of spouse, none have remarried, all appeared to have very precious relationship with departed spouse. Most of those were only single for a short period before death of second spouse, a few had endured several yrs of spousal care (each gender).
I think it really depends on the individual person, experiences in life (i.e. a great or rotten previous marriage, or a high confidence / energy person who embraces change, ...) and family situation. (nearby kids / those who care, those who don't...)
Social engagements as we age...(Yesterday there was a news story about an island where elderly are very engaged in the daily responsibilities / management for the community, and ample island cuisine!)
the places with longevity tend to embrace social and physical engagement of elderly, (and why USA senior housing co-ops were studied by USDA and found to be very beneficial to Longer independent living (10 yrs longer w/o care needs!!)).
the loom shaking slightly, the 105-year-old told me how much she still loves her job.
“Do something in your life that stirs your passion,” she advised me. “When my husband died decades ago, I continued doing what I love. Later, someone else proposed to me, but I said 'no'. I am married to my loom.”
I appreciate that Australia and NZ ministries of health have recognized and offered classes and 'Menz Sheds', opportunity for male socialization for the aged. A couple have begun in USA, I am planning to form one in a senior centric community. MENZSHED New Zealand Incorporated
Lots of room for improvement for all, and no 'one formula' is gonna work for all.
Thank goodness we are all different. Our 'couple' will be single before we know it, so we are working very hard to prepare for that, but not losing any daylight in enjoying the few moments we have left as a couple. We have spent a lot of time apart with eldercare needs, needy siblings, and international work assignments. That has built pretty strong independence and cross functional capabilities. I can't imagine putting another partner through the hxll of LT relationship building (enduring extended family drama!!).
FIL getting remarried to the "High Maint Gold Digger" (2 months after funeral on his ex-spouse's BD (Feb 14) ) has been a disaster for his kids. New wife destroys any attempts to reconcile / understand / accept. She is very protective of her new found wealth and caregiver. She refuses to contribute even her measly SSA to their joint expenses, and FIL WAS very frugal / not wealthy, so is bleeding ($$) profusely for last 14 yrs. Both are 95, and new spouse is very sickly, so hopefully 'dad' will survive the longest and have a few moments to rebuild 80 yrs of 'family'. I know (4) gals who did a lot of crying at Christmas, who want just a few moments of his presence.
When our friend's mother died, her father got two offers from women during the wake! It was like a gold rush. Most elderly people on their own do not get remarried for financial reasons, but many have a girlfriend or boyfriend, many live together as well.
This exact thing happened to my father after my mom died. They were high school sweethearts married for 50 years. At a memorial service we had, one of their classmates showed up (I had never heard her name ever mentioned and don’t remember her ever coming to their house when mom was alive) and made her intentions clear. She aggressively pursued more from my dad for about 6 months before giving up. He lived 5 more years without dating again. Right after mom died he talked like he wanted to partner again (with anyone but the woman I mentioned) but never did.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,759 posts, read 58,161,153 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53
My old neighborhood has become a place of widows and divorcees.
This is the perfect setup for what i have wanted to do - build a little commune for those without partners or close family. And even if they do have family close by - not all want to go live with them.
Each would have their own casita plus a general gathering place when they do want to hang out with others
Not suitable / desirable for all, but...
As mentioned I have visited many, and most seem to be quite good. Study / visit Denmark to get a better understanding of this concept. (USA Senior Co-op Housing developers claim it only works in USA Scandinavian communities)
Screen what you can from this group (URL below) (and attend annual conferences for more details), BUT... I much prefer to go direct to communities and talk with the residents / members. Especially the initial leaders. They have plenty of war stories / lessons learned.
Nice list Matisse12 My friend did mention Walmart too but ours will bring it out to your car in their parking lot. Don't think ours does home delivery. These delivery services are a great idea and imagine they will continue to expand. There is a real need for them.
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Nice list Matisse12 These delivery services are a great idea and imagine they will continue to expand. There is a real need for them.
I've used online grocery delivery services for 14 years.
Walmart has two separate operations - Walmart.com and https://grocery.walmart.com
Yes, some Walmart stores do not do local grocery delivery, but will gather all groceries and customer picks them up by car.
Walmart.com works all throughout the U.S.
Target has two operations - Shipt.com and Target.com - Shipt.com is for local grocery delivery.
Last edited by matisse12; 12-26-2019 at 03:47 PM..
Is anybody 70 or older in a position where they have no spouse/SO, friends or family and are growing old alone without any prospects for this regrettable situation changing?
I do have a wonderful spouse, but no family or friends I could rely on if something were to happen to my spouse. I cannot imagine living alone having to rely on just myself to get the things accomplished that I need to, given my health and physical limitations.
Thoughts?
It helped solve my isolation problem and medical issues to leave my home and rent a regular apartment in a seniors' supportive living center.
As part of my rent, I receive home care twice a day, nurses twice a day, linen service, light housekeeping, 2 meals a day, home lab collecton, free utilities.
I don't take part in the activities but I do get some companionship at meal times in the dining room. I can partake in as little or as much socializing as I please.
I guess it depends on attraction and availability. I told my wife if I go first I hope she finds someone else. If she goes first I hope I'd find someone else, and we love each other and have been married for 47 years. Life is for the living, but finding someone also depends a lot on serendipity and luck. Our neighbor's wife had cancer for many years and passed several years ago. Last year he met someone and they have been seeing each other every day, but both live with family members and they maintain separate residences.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Llep
This exact thing happened to my father after my mom died. They were high school sweethearts married for 50 years. At a memorial service we had, one of their classmates showed up (I had never heard her name ever mentioned and don’t remember her ever coming to their house when mom was alive) and made her intentions clear. She aggressively pursued more from my dad for about 6 months before giving up. He lived 5 more years without dating again. Right after mom died he talked like he wanted to partner again (with anyone but the woman I mentioned) but never did.
Isolation experienced by older people has become common. Especially in the U.S.
There are many articles on isolation of older people, studies, and the United Kingdom has a national initiative to try to lessen isolation of older people throughout the UK, and also an official in charge of the initiative.
Isolation has been found to be much more common among older people, more common than older people finding a new partner/significant other.
And the OP's original post speaks to this and worry about it.
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) has been a disaster for his kids. New wife destroys any attempts to reconcile / understand / accept. She is very protective of her new found wealth and caregiver. She refuses to contribute even her measly SSA to their joint expenses, and FIL WAS very frugal / not wealthy, so is bleeding ($$) profusely for last 14 yrs. Both are 95, and new spouse is very sickly, so hopefully 'dad' will survive the longest and have a few moments to rebuild 80 yrs of 'family'. I know (4) gals who did a lot of crying at Christmas, who want just a few moments of his presence.
My friend did mention Walmart too but ours will bring it out to your car in their parking lot. Don't think ours does home delivery. These delivery services are a great idea and imagine they will continue to expand. There is a real need for them.
