Somehow we ended up in the wrong place (beach, spouse, relatives)

[aslowdodge]

Originally Posted by Wile E. Coyote

Georgia is on my radar; it seems like a good place to move from out of state. The people are friendly. They don't typically get hit with hurricanes or tornadoes like the rest of the south?

I've been here for 5 years now and haven't had any weather issues in Marietta. Have had 5 days of snow though which quickly melted off. My girlfriend is from Vancouver Washington and seems happy here.

[BigRedBeth]

Originally Posted by ansible90

I think it's the neighborhood and the luck of the draw. I am currently in a neighborhood of older people but it is not a 55+ community. It just attracts older people because the houses have first floor master bedrooms.

Anyway, for the first time in my adult life I live amongst friendly and helpful neighbors. Many are outside walking every day (with or without dogs) and many work on their gardens. So we get to meet each other and chat. I never had that before in any of the other places I have lived. Before COVID we used to have in-person HOA meetings. That was another opportunity to get to know the neighbors.

I feel very good about knowing my neighbors and having someone to call in an emergency.

Exactly like my neighborhood!

[pikabike]

Originally Posted by steiconi

I was born and raised in CA, moved to Hawaii, then to Minnesota, and now Arizona. CA still calls to me.

I never lived in CA, but if I had grown up there I think I would always miss things about it. It didn’t make our list of retirement places for the usual reasons (crowding, smog, expense). We love visiting, though.

Reading (for example) about how people turn out en masse to help the grunion during spawning time, it makes me reset some cynicism about humans.

Back to the main topic, I like to get to know people gradually, in a natural way. Not at organized social gatherings. If it takes years, or if it does not happen in depth, OK. Can’t move to low-density places and then complain about not knowing many people.

[Rickcin]

Originally Posted by YorktownGal

We moved from a NY neighborhood with one acre homes set back on hilly streets. We hardly saw our neighbors a couple of times a year. In winter, literally forget about seeing neighbors.

We are renting a VA condo with flat streets. Many people walk their dogs during the day. We exchange greetings. It's not a friendship, but at least I see the neighbors.

I don't know. Americans are so divided politically. My cousins would meet for lunch a couple of times a year. After the 2016 elections, it was a struggle with politics. Half the room was upset with the other half. Debates and disagreements doesn't upset me. It's never been my way or the highway. However, one cousin can barely talk to me anyone. It's pretty common now. I think many people don't want to open up anymore.

Best not to talk politics with neighbors or “new” friends unless they share their beliefs first and you happen to agree and or align with their thinking.

Fortunately, all neighbors who are adjacent to our house and like minded with the wife and I.
I also believe that most people are not engaged socially due to the family dynamics today with school, work and recreation. Families get into a busy routine and seldom make time to socialize with others while the pandemic and technology has definitely contributed to family isolationism and it’s more prevalent now than ever before.

[Nausikaa]

Fluffy, I have followed along with your move etc. You both seem to have new health problems. Will you start decluttering and looking toward 10 years from now? DH hoards - how will he manage all of that? You have two houses in two different states - I guess doctors in both places. Maybe time to sell one house and try to simplify life. Who will help you do this 10 years from now? Just wonder if you have a solid plan for the future (getting older).

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat

Our neighbors across the street in Arizona have a 6700 sq ft house with an enormous built-in aquarium. I've never been in their house. I only know this because I looked it up online.

Invite them over to you house.

Over here, we have uncharacteristically high winds - like 40 MPH gusts or even higher - and consequently we have some pretty weird damage even though there's no storm (and the winds are supposed to continue through tonight and most of tomorrow). I just got home and noticed that a significant portion of my fence is down. Sigh. I guess I'll have to talk with the neighbors - LOL.

My dog was in their front yard the other day - she got out while I was having some drainage put in I guess. Anyway, these neighbors seem nice enough. They called as soon as my puppy got out. The man said, "Honey, there's a blue heeler in our front yard." Which there was. Oh well! At least I know they are pleasant enough. They seem normal but I guess I'm about to find out! LOL

[kavm]

Originally Posted by Rickcin

Best not to talk politics with neighbors or “new” friends unless they share their beliefs first and you happen to agree and or align with their thinking.

Fortunately, all neighbors who are adjacent to our house and like minded with the wife and I.
I also believe that most people are not engaged socially due to the family dynamics today with school, work and recreation. Families get into a busy routine and seldom make time to socialize with others while the pandemic and technology has definitely contributed to family isolationism and it’s more prevalent now than ever before.

I agree but to a very limited degree. I would not bring up politics with new "acquaintances" but I also do not consider acquaintance a friend.

But, friendship is a different matter. Mutual respect is not an optional element in a friendship - and politics does constitute a rather important strand in that. I do not identify as a democrat (but vote that way in face of the choices we are offered) and have friends but who are republicans (I do not know if they still identify as one). So, I can go across the divide. a But, I do not find friendship to be possible with unthinking republican, perhaps an unthinking democrat too but I might not probe their views and rationale as thoroughly.

So, some basic political compatibility in the way one approaches political and societal questions in front of us is essential for friendship or above a level of social interaction that goes beyond a casual acquaintance relationship. While this is particularly true in terms of the recent trends, I'd think that it holds regardless.

I should note that I do not equate casual chats, politeness and friendly interactions with friendship either. Obviously, acquaintance is a necessary (but far from sufficient) condition for developing a friendship. So, I agree with your statement to that extent. But, if I see someone subscribing to thinking that I find unacceptable - I would not waste another moment on them.

[YorktownGal]

Originally Posted by Rickcin

Best not to talk politics with neighbors or “new” friends unless they share their beliefs first and you happen to agree and or align with their thinking.

I never do - but, it doesn't stop people from talking politics to me! I never take the bait.

Our country is very, very divided. Still people are hesitate to make friends for fear of politics.

With my cousins' lunches - these are people I've know all my life.

There was a definite split between Trump and Never Trump voters. It's hardly a unusual situation.

An SNL Family Thanksgiving -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2zyjbH9zzA

[Wile E. Coyote]

Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat

I grew up in Oregon and no one could pay me enough to go back there.

I'm glad you found your place, though.

We're even because I grew up in Vegas and you won't see me back there either.

[Wile E. Coyote]

Originally Posted by aslowdodge

I've been here for 5 years now and haven't had any weather issues in Marietta. Have had 5 days of snow though which quickly melted off. My girlfriend is from Vancouver Washington and seems happy here.

Thanks for the info