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Im not 80. Yet. Just turned 74. I might take a companion but Im pretty choosy. They would have to live elsewhere. They cant stay here. And they cant be just dropping in whenever they feel like it. And they cant watch football, John Wayne, or the Three Stooges at my house. Truthfully Im sure I dont need worry about anybody making any moves.
I would never even consider getting married again. When you get married your finances get mingled. That means that you will be expected to pay if your new spouse gets sick and or goes to a SNF. I know people that this happened to. He got sick. Ran thru all his money. They were starting on hers when he passed away. She was beside herself. It was sad.
I love it! I would have the same rule. The sound of football still gives me PTSD symptoms from the marriage that ended over 20 years ago.
My mom took care of my dad for 14 years and I helped her. Once my dad died the old men were chasing her because she was beautiful but she was going to have fun and take care of herself. She lived alone until a week before she died at 89. Her sister had a similar situation and lived alone until a few months before she died at 96. Most people don’t end up in homes.
Yes good reminder, I guess most do not end up in homes. My 60 days certainly doesn't compare to 14 yrs either
My father was widowed in his late 60s. About four months after losing mom, he met his lady friend (same age, also widowed) at a church widows support group. They never married but became "companions." Oh - he rarely entered her home. The reason? He didn't want her neighbors seeing a strange man going into her house! I don't think she was ever in his house. They stopped seeing each other in person when advanced age took its toll. Both had to go into Assisted Living in different states. They stayed in touch over the phone.
My sisters and I were speculating that his lady friend was relieved that they never got married. Although, we don't think either one was re-marriage minded. If they had married, she would have been dealing with a major headache trying to tend to him. We think she reached the point of ducking his phone calls at her AL since he was complaining so darn much. He was probably bringing her down and why shouldn't she try to enjoy what time she has left? He passed at 97.5. She'll be 98 in April.
How old was “advanced age” for them since they lived/are living close to being 100? When and why dud they have to go into assisted living? And they only saw each other outside thei homes? Just having lunch, movies, and stuff?
How old was “advanced age” for them since they lived/are living close to being 100? When and why dud they have to go into assisted living? And they only saw each other outside thei homes? Just having lunch, movies, and stuff?
Their widow support group was great for them. It kept them busy with parties, trips, volunteer work. They
also dined out a lot and went to movies, plays, events, etc.
She fell twice in her home and turned down offers to live with her sons. But one son found a nice new ALF
near him and she agreed to that. She must have been 93 at the time.
Our father's needs increased to where we couldn't manage them anymore. He went into AL at age 94. It was
a nice place and he received good care.
Both seniors stayed in their old homes as long as humanly possible. She was a little stubborn. He was off
the charts stubborn.
Just realized this thread title says “REmarried” specifically. Got me wondering if anyone ever would have married for the FIRST time after 80.
That would be interesting to hear about.
I would consider it but depends on the guy and the situation
To be blunt, there is not a chance that I would let anybody get their hands on (or want to share) what assets DH and I accrued over the past 50 years. That includes my house, which I would never want anyone else to live in, nor would I sell it or move to another. That has been a huge mistake of some friends who had big regrets. Some also ended up as a caregiver in their elderly years unless they divorced.
In my state, a certain percent of your estate must go to the spouse and I want my children to inherit, not someone I know for just a few years.
Not happening and many women seem to be coming to the same conclusion. However, one recent widow said the only person she would possibly consider was a chef who also loved to cook at home. I guess she has a point there.
Exactly why I would never remarry.
In a very few short years my wife and I would have been married 50 years and I want EVERYTHING we worked for together to go to the children and NOBODY ELSE.
There is not a chance that I would let anybody get their hands on (or want to share) what assets DH and I accrued over the past 50 years. That includes my house, which I would never want anyone else to live in, nor would I sell it or move to another.
So even if you were dating a lovely guy but you had a stroke and would die soon you'd order your house demolished rather than let him stay there after you died?
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