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Thank you, MQ. I appreciate that. I agree that it is never too late and I hope that you will find happiness again.
Yes, don't give up. I've mentioned before my grandpa who remarried at 94 in the rest home.
I do feel a kind of ennui or malaise at this stage. I recognize that for me, a big goal is necessary for something to look forward to. Though nothing is "wrong", I don't feel too excited about daily life. All the hobbies I planned for in retirement didn't pan out so I'm sort of floundering.
But having our big annual trip is what keeps me positive about the future. Otherwise, we kind of fall into too much focus on the aches and pains. We have an idyllic retirement, just not "exciting", lol.
I don't have those feelings but my wife does. I believe it is because I started prepping for Retirement early with multiple activities to keep me busy and engaged with others, whereas my wife ignored all my suggestions and ardent pleadings that she do likewise.
So I am keeping myself busy in retirement. and she finds herself bored. She could independently participate in one of my activities but refuses to enroll in the two-day training, eventhough the activity is something she would find enjoyable and fulfilling.
I am 81 and a widower. I had a very good life. I say one is a result of all their life experiences be they bad, good, or ugly they made you what you are today. Yes getting old sucks physically but it it what it is. If I got to the point I cannot take care of myself I would have no problem in taking my own life.
Sort of but I still feel I have much to look forward to and have many things now that I didn’t have when I was younger. So I don’t know I feel the best has occurred except in terms of peak health and looks.
I’m not happy that despite healthy eating, and an active lifestyle I just cant shift the weight and I now need statins for high cholesterol ( not diet related). But whatever. I live each day with gratitude and excited about the day. Took a 2 hour hike and enjoyed seeing the Sonoran desert start to blossom.
#1 The loss of both parents by 13...
#2 The first brush with death (auto accident) at 17
#3 The chronic, painful disease that afflicts 9% of women onset at 29..
#4 The debilitating high impact injury (suv vs pedestrian) at 43 (brush with death #2)
#5 Waking up in the ICU at 53 (lucky I came to) (brush with death #3)
I did not need to wait until being a senior citizen to be face to face with my own mortality
Worrying what you look like to other people is just another dependence on External validation.
Life is an inside job.
The final frontier is conquering Self and not needing anything from the outside to hold you up; you are mature and can manage your own emotions, psychology, mentality, etc.
Holy cow!
Here is hoping you are part feline and still have another 6 lives to go. Don't use them up too soon.
We all have unique experience. We have a natural tendency to assume others have similar experiences to what we have. It colors our outlook. It is just human nature.
When I post how I don't have any problems that would bring me down, I forget that there are many other people facing very serious issues or are in dire straights. It is easy to forget when you have it good.
At the same time, I have ALWAYS counted my blessings and I do not take my good fortune for granted. I have always known -- generally -- that many peolpe out there have had it a lot worse than me. It just make it more personal when you hear actual stories from real people. Kind of drives it home.
Here is hoping you are part feline and still have another 6 lives to go. Don't use them up too soon.
We all have unique experience. We have a natural tendency to assume others have similar experiences to what we have. It colors our outlook. It is just human nature.
When I post how I don't have any problems that would bring me down, I forget that there are many other people facing very serious issues or are in dire straights. It is easy to forget when you have it good.
At the same time, I have ALWAYS counted my blessings and I do not take my good fortune for granted. I have always known -- generally -- that many peolpe out there have had it a lot worse than me. It just make it more personal when you hear actual stories from real people. Kind of drives it home.
Thank you Igor. I have close friends with wonderful lives. I do not begrudge them. I have had my own path. My life has made me strong. Sometimes those with wonderful lives for decades run into a big problem once in a blue moon (if they live long enough). Like things got rough at 75 due to events out of their control.
Shocked, I was when I heard years ago, a person in their 30's, realized they had a problem ? ! Probably could of been me as well, one didn't talk about the elephant in the living room. Accepted it, this I remember as a child growing up in the 1950's.
There was no social media where a person shared any and every thing. One may have known, talked, gossip, with some others though not the entire world.
End of Life Crisis ? How have you faced crisis before ?
Wile, you are productive sharing here as is Igor sharing counting blessings. Each Poster shares something that assists me in some way. It's the reason I keep posting all these years, care about the Posters, or perhaps just nosy ?.!
Yes, don't give up. I've mentioned before my grandpa who remarried at 94 in the rest home.
I do feel a kind of ennui or malaise at this stage. I recognize that for me, a big goal is necessary for something to look forward to. Though nothing is "wrong", I don't feel too excited about daily life. All the hobbies I planned for in retirement didn't pan out so I'm sort of floundering.
But having our big annual trip is what keeps me positive about the future. Otherwise, we kind of fall into too much focus on the aches and pains. We have an idyllic retirement, just not "exciting", lol.
Thank you, Sand. I've not given up on finding love though it's hard to keep a positive mental attitude. Yes, I agree that a person needs to have goals . . .something to work toward. Have you looked into different hobbies since the ones that you planned for didn't work out?
My aunt did well living on her own and I think had a really good life till she turned 83. Now she needs caregivers in her home every day, is in terrible pain with bone cancer, has lost so much weight and is down under 100 pounds and she is 5 ft. 8, can't sleep well - has lots of difficulty sleeping, takes meds for pain that hurt her concentration and focus so doesn't always take them, is allergic to so many things. She is not happy at all. Everything is a crisis / emergency. She worries about everything and is not happy with her caregivers either - thinks they goof off too much, has this mindset that they should be doing something every minute of the day. She is suspicious of others, focuses and talks a lot about relationship issues with her son. It is not a good life. I can hardly believe she has the will to go on. It's so hard to see her like this and I feel helpless / have no idea how to lift her spirits -- I just talk to her maybe once or twice a week on the phone. I live six hours away, but I am her power of attorney and power of attorney for medical. It is very draining to be with her. Actually even talking to her on the phone can be very draining.
My dad, age 87, has gotten weaker with cancer and has poorer mobility and just moved into and assisted living apartment. His attitude though is still very good and he is a pleasure to talk to. I talk to him five days a week on morning dog walks before work (I still have about 16 more months of working before I retire. DH has been retired for six year now.) Quality of life though is down for dad, but I admire his positive attitude and hope I will be like him in my older years with that positive mindset.
They both lost beloved spouses five years ago and did a good job I think of dealing with those losses. They had reasonable health though, could get out with friends, enjoy hobbies which helped a lot I think.
Looking at these relatives they had a super high quality of life thru their 70s and for dad really pretty good into the mid 80s. I pray for them and I pray for me and DH as we age too. Health issues, pain, disease, lack of energy, lack of control, and medications can definitely affect mental health in a negative way.
Last edited by Kathy884; 03-28-2024 at 05:27 AM..
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I do not begrudge them. I have had my own path. My life has made me strong. Sometimes those with wonderful lives for decades run into a big problem once in a blue moon (if they live long enough). Like things got rough at 75 due to events out of their control.