Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The women in our family tend to stay healthy and live long, my grandma passed at 103. I've always felt younger than my chronological age of 65 and have tried to live a healthy lifestyle, not thinking about death. But then a year ago my former husband passed away at 66 and last month his sister passed at 71. It's been a hard reality check. That side of the family is gone. They are my generation. My kids are in their 30's and already lost their dad and aunt. I am more committed to doing what I can to stay healthy, but now I feel this possibility of early death around me that I didn't feel before.
Right now, I'm trying to deal with my BFF of 45 years having mild cognitive impairment that is bound to get worse, and 2 of my older siblings (71 and 72) having very awful complications of diabetes. I missed out on the family curse of diabetes. I'm pretty devastated to see what they are going through, but I don't feel an age crisis for myself.
I think most of us have heard the phrase, "mid-life crisis" -- but do you think there is such a thing as an end-of-life crisis?
If so, I think I am in one of those, and I wonder if anyone else can relate.
Yes, I do think that this might be a form of, or a 'cousin' to, depression, but I think it is more likely to be a matter of simply facing facts -- that people in the last quarter of life are almost certainly not going to look really good again or ever be as physically fit as they were when they were 20 (assuming they were a normal healthy 20-year-old), and that they simply don't experience the joy in life to nearly the degree they used to experience it.
Now, please don't misunderstand -- I have had a good life (better than many people, in fact) -- and I am very grateful for all that is good in my life (which is plenty), but I think I am just feeling a little sad in knowing that the best has already occurred as far as my life is concerned, and I don't have anything really great to look forward to, and my "highs" now consist of things like a new book to read or a beautiful sunset or a good meal -- things that I am grateful for, but not exactly much of an incentive to get out of bed.
NO ADVICE WANTED -- I am only wanting to know whether or not I am alone in having the above feelings.
OMG of course you are right if your looks and physical strength are all you use to measure joy. Don't you have any grandchildren, a hobby you enjoy, a person you talk to? Of course we don't look as pretty as we did when we were 20 and we are not as strong as we were when we werw 20. What does that have to do with the joy of life?
I would say you are in full blown depression and need to do something about it, get outside of your head, dig in the dirt, take a walk, go to the library and read to children, anything to get yourself out of your head, then change your mind about your life and yourself, it is the only thing you still have control over.
The women in our family tend to stay healthy and live long, my grandma passed at 103. I've always felt younger than my chronological age of 65 and have tried to live a healthy lifestyle, not thinking about death. But then a year ago my former husband passed away at 66 and last month his sister passed at 71. It's been a hard reality check. That side of the family is gone. They are my generation. My kids are in their 30's and already lost their dad and aunt. I am more committed to doing what I can to stay healthy, but now I feel this possibility of early death around me that I didn't feel before.
So many things here.
First of all, given our world, an early death may be a blessing. Or events may be different so an early death is a blessing. Mom said that the women in her family lived to 93 or so and that would be a good age. But then Mom was destroyed to spend the rest of her life in bed with multiple strokes and I prayed that her prediction was not correct....and my prayers were answered.
I always say that if I arrive in Heaven early, Mom is going to look at me and say, "Tripped over a cat, huh?"......and my Father will say, "Here, take some leashes.".
Given my Sorceress ways, I am now subscribing to "Maiden, Mother, Crone" where Crone is not the old hag but Crone means crown. I don't see myself as the old woman in "The Shuttered Room" (1967) (Flora Robson) but what I will eventually see myself as, I don't know.
Given my Sorceress ways, being the old witch of the forest, surrounded by her cats and dogs, is not a bad way for last days.
I’m a guy in my late 50’s. I certainly don’t run like I did as a 20 year old, nor am I as physically fit as I was 30+ years ago.
I also don’t look as good as I did back when I was in my 20’s.
Those 2 facts definitely aren’t a positive for me, but despite that, I’m just as happy now as I was back then.
The key to happiness as an older guy is when you wake up each morning, feeling good and in good health, plus having a purpose in life, such as an important job or helping out friends or family who need it.
If you don’t have your health, and/or you aren’t helping others, life can be pretty miserable.
I've been a pretty happy Mountain Man, most of my life. I love to fish (usually release), love to explore the lands, camp, take beautiful photos, observe the wild critters...
WK91, agree about having health, purpose, friends.
March 5, celebrated my 1st year of late 70's ! Me ? That vintage ? !
Like my Mom, her Mom, always doing something for someone else. Particularly since I broke my upper right arm 5 weeks ago. Been overwhelmed by the care, love support ie 3 people telephoned me in one day, to ask if I needed a ride to Bible study; had already accepted a ride And lunch !
Flowers, cookies, rides, cards, almost feel I died, the good Lord telling me I did something right ?
My sons, late 40's, eldest early 50's are more aware of my age since my booboo
(getting healthy, on a 3 mile hike, tripped over a stone I didn't see ?). Financial folders, he knows where they are, trying to make not much to go through if/when I transition to my eternal home......
I wonder how this old age depression differs between people who believe in God and Heaven and those who don't. Just a thought.
If you believe your death is the absolute end of all existence, I wonder if you are more prone to be depressed than if you see mortal death as a graduation from this material existence with all of its downsides amid the good, and you will soon be moving on to unimaginable experiences of overwhelming love and joy.
I also wonder if it is more likely or less likely in elderly with children they leave behind than the old who are childless. Maybe more depressed because you feel you will be missing out on their ongoing lives, or maybe less depressed because they are tour form of immortality and you leave the world knowing you have loved ones to continue the quest for Happiness and fulfillment. I don't know.
As a child-free atheist, I find my overall sense of cheer to increase as I get [comparatively] older. The finality of death offers relief, the only worry being the process of decline, from comparative health to cessation of bodily functions. As I move through middle-age, the “crisis” of the 40s recedes further into the past, resulting in acceptance and modicum of satisfaction, whether with past accomplishments or present reality.
An important midlife concern is the earning and accumulation of enough money, whether for comfortable eventual retirement, or as achievement-trophy, or as thrill in the moment. As we age, all three recede. Though always and incessantly worried about investments, now I worry comparatively less, than say 10 years ago. Utterly vast success will almost certainly never come; but that’s OK. Emphasis is gradually shifting from fanatical devotion to the last dollar, to garnering for oneself a modicum of comfort and small daily indulgences.
Even so, the causes and triggers of dysthymia are neither rare nor merely minor. Though I rejoice in not having children, I much lament failure in relationships, and lack of human connections, be they romantic, filial, friendly or neighborly. However gregarious or outgoing one aims to be, instead one finds oneself increasingly alone. It is unlikely that in say 20 years, if I’m still alive, the social side of things would brook improvement.
Every day brings new possibilities and new adventures.
I check the weather in the morning and plan from there
I don't use the ATM - I go into The bank and talk to the girls when I take out my monthly cash allowance
I don't want to give up all socialization with people in favor of technology
I also never use a debit card when borrowing money from the bank for 30 days interest free is to my benefit and gives me one statement to track my budget
You are lucky you still can go into the bank to chat. Here many are being closed and the ones which are open have such long queues that the staff have no time to chat to anyone. We are being forced into the digital world, like it or not.
But what we see is that it is the late seventies that seem to be the age that brings the problems. Of course there are many variations and apparently my friend of 92 is off to Europe again later in the year, not deterred by the 24 hour flight. But many seem to start to struggle with their health when 80 is looming.
You are lucky you still can go into the bank to chat. Here many are being closed and the ones which are open have such long queues that the staff have no time to chat to anyone. We are being forced into the digital world, like it or not.
But what we see is that it is the late seventies that seem to be the age that brings the problems. Of course there are many variations and apparently my friend of 92 is off to Europe again later in the year, not deterred by the 24 hour flight. But many seem to start to struggle with their health when 80 is looming.
At 92 and even 80, I'd be concerned of getting blood clots in my legs while sitting in an airliner for an extensive amount of time and also having some type of medical emergency while in a foreign country.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
