Letting go as you scale down for retirement (55, alcohol, inherit)

[Bette]

Unfortunately, my home is quite bare by current standards. When I visit others, I wish I just had a touch to make it homey.

However, I went through my mother's things so that is taking up space. It's just pictures and letters but I can't find myself getting rid of it. I have 7 boxes - storage boxes of all her stuff.

I hope if we retire we can have a nice cozy home with fun things to do. I've missed out on the fun things in life and it will probably have to wait a few more! Darn!!

[Ellwood]

Originally Posted by sugarsugar

I am 52 and have been semi-retired for awhile now - with more than enough time to read from my big old collection of books.

I started my growing library when I was...get ready for it....27 years old. Sigh - that is a damned long stretch from 27 to 52 and I accummulated a lot of books during those years.

And nope,, I am not reading many of them in my spare time (maybe a few, here and there). I do read, but mostly newer stuff I get from the library. Go figure.

But will I get rid of them - nope Go figure on that one too.

Libraries are hurting for money and many can't afford to buy books. Why let them sit when someone could benefit from them?

[Ellwood]

Originally Posted by 'M'

Ahhh ...what great shared experience and advice...I just tossed almost one bookshelf of books ...they're in my trunk with some other stuff for the thrift shop. The only books I need to keep are my 12 Step books ...these are used every week. Actually, in the past 9 months, have discarded around 70 to 80 books. What's happened is that every few weeks, I toss 1/2 bookshelf of books. Have also been going through other things and taking some advice from a fellow poster..."What do I need this CRAP for?" Now, for a diehard book-o-phile (sic), that is PROGRESS!!!

People...please keep posting...this thread has been such an inspiration to keep letting go. You never know when someone will post a cutting edge idea...

Who knows? soon I may be able to do without a whole book case. This is a contemporary set with matching lateral files and a built-in pedestal desk. I keep thinking that if I do need to downsize, this set would double as a table and china hutch for a dining room. The pedestal desk could be a multi-purpose dining table/desk/sewing table. That would mean I could get rid of my oak hutch and dining table (which I love boo hoo).

Next on my list are my grandmother's china plates, which would make funky plates. But I would need to decide between them and the contemporary dishes. Can't decide yet. But, never did I think I could discard my grandmother's dishes.

OK are there any people who want to challenge me on this one? Ready-Set-Go....

Good for you!!! You can always call in one of those estate people who will either offer to sell the stuff for you at a percentage or list on Craig's List, or there are shelters and halfway houses that set families up in new housing. One of my mantras, besides "what do I need this for?" is "I would rather give it to someone who needs it than let it sit here and collect dust."

My mother used her good china everyday! She told me it was useless to sit in a cabinet. Why buy it if you don't use it!

[graytabbie]

Several years ago I experienced a house fire. Ever since, I have been painfully aware of my temporary my "things" are and I am continuously culling my belongings. Although I bring stuff in, stuff always goes out. I only keep what I really, really love (although I have some books I need to donate).

[kodaka]

I think it seems harder now, when you don't really have to get rid of the stuff. It will be much easier when you are actually packing everything up to move to a smaller place. The first few boxes will be meticulously packed, then after a few, the novelty wears off and you really start thinking about everything--Do I really need this? Enough to want to pack it, carry the box, and unpack it? That gets rid of a lot of things.

I think getting a storage unit isn't such a bad idea either. If you don't want to part with enough stuff to fit into your smaller home, you've got space in the storage unit. And likely all that time spent in storage will help you reevaluate what you need and want to keep.

[sayulita]

Originally Posted by Ellwood

Good for you!!! You can always call in one of those estate people who will either offer to sell the stuff for you at a percentage or list on Craig's List, or there are shelters and halfway houses that set families up in new housing. One of my mantras, besides "what do I need this for?" is "I would rather give it to someone who needs it than let it sit here and collect dust."

Here's another variation of this. When my sister died we had to clear out her apartment rather quickly. So we decided to have an "estate sale" of our own. First each family member chose a thing or two they wanted as a keepsake. Then the sale commenced. The twist was that when folks came and had their eye on something, we gave it to them! You never saw such delighted folks. My sister died of alcoholism so we told folks her story and said any donations they'd like to make to AA would be greatly appreciated. We made a lot of people happy, raised $200 for AA and got rid of almost everything in her apartment. It was very satisfying and we think my sister Karen would have approved. Rest In Peace, Karen.

[MaryleeII]

Originally Posted by Bette

Unfortunately, my home is quite bare by current standards. When I visit others, I wish I just had a touch to make it homey.

However, I went through my mother's things so that is taking up space. It's just pictures and letters but I can't find myself getting rid of it. I have 7 boxes - storage boxes of all her stuff.

I hope if we retire we can have a nice cozy home with fun things to do. I've missed out on the fun things in life and it will probably have to wait a few more! Darn!!

My mother died many years ago and I still find it hard to let go of her stuff. Its like getting rid of a part of her. IMO, I would never get rid of letters she'd written, in her own hand, that's irreplacable.

Don't forget in our zeal to declutter, don't go overboard and get rid of things you might regret. someone posted elsewhere to ask yourself if the item is replaceable? If not, consider keeping it. I recently tossed a tabletop ironing board, then realized I needed something just like that for crafts, etc. So, ok, I got another at Walmart, it wasn't the end of the world. But I can't go out and buy more letters from my mother.

You said you have 7 boxes of stuff from your mother. Perhaps you could scan them, organize some in an album, etc?

[Tek_Freek]

Speaking of keeping...

My mother passed in 1981 and I still have a couple of hundred pieces of glassware stored. I started selling it on eBay once, but it was such a hassle I stopped. Maybe after we get retired... Maybe on CD. There's selling forum isn't there? Hmmmmm. Anyone like old china plates, depression glass, etc? I've got some really nice stuff. We have my wife's grandmother's china as well, but I doubt she'll ever part with it.

I also have a number of her books and a bunch of magazines. Life, Look, CCCP. Poland, etc. Those I will probably sell or donate.

To those who mention the amount of stuff their parents kept, were they Depression era adults or children? Mine were married with three babies when it started and they kept everything. I learned from them. When you grow up poor it's hard to part with something that, as they told me, "You might need some day."

[jrkliny]

I believe there is a good test for pathological hoarding. If you cannot get rid of stuff, but instead you need to find a new home for it, there could be a problem. Sure we all want to make good money from a garage sale or from ebay, but is it worth it?

[MaryleeII]

Originally Posted by Tek_Freek

Speaking of keeping...

My mother passed in 1981 and I still have a couple of hundred pieces of glassware stored. I started selling it on eBay once, but it was such a hassle I stopped. Maybe after we get retired... Maybe on CD. There's selling forum isn't there? Hmmmmm. Anyone like old china plates, depression glass, etc? I've got some really nice stuff. We have my wife's grandmother's china as well, but I doubt she'll ever part with it.

I also have a number of her books and a bunch of magazines. Life, Look, CCCP. Poland, etc. Those I will probably sell or donate.

To those who mention the amount of stuff their parents kept, were they Depression era adults or children? Mine were married with three babies when it started and they kept everything. I learned from them. When you grow up poor it's hard to part with something that, as they told me, "You might need some day."

That stuff about the Depression grates on me. My parents were Depression-Era, and yes, they did go through a "phase" where they held onto everything. but that was decades ago. do realize that space has value, too. And don't forget to factor in the cost of moving and storing useless items.

I guess clutter is a sore point for me. Twice I had to clear out people's belonging after they died, it just about did me in. they had all their life to sort, prune, etc, but left it for me to figure out. what they had a lifetime to sort, I had just a few weekends to figure out. They did't want to part with a piece of useless junk because it might have a use some day, after all, they went through the Depression.

So, fast forward to the present, which is the only place any of us can live. Here I am, struggling to balance a budget and maintain a household, and peolple dump their junk on me because they didn't want to sort it. I don't have all the time in the world, my job, family, and household matter, too. So I end up hiring moving companies, storage facilities, etc, anything to make a quick turnaround. I can't sell this and that on Ebay, CraigsList, etc, when I'm out of state, have just a few days, and a job to get back to.

So, because they went through the Depression decades ago, I can spend thousands to clear out their junk.

And yes, it can cost thousands. hauling off stuff isn't free. If so much can be done with it, why didn't they? they just left their mess for me, and use that old excuse about the Depression to justify not keeping their environment reasonable.