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On the few rare occasions I have encountered this. (When I lived in Iowa city Iowa.) I just told them. I live on social security. And am as poor as they are. And it usually works.
To the OP: Sorry you had to experience this, sounds terrible.
The city would be a better place if no one ever gave change to panhandlers because giving just encourages them to keep begging and contribute nothing to society.
It's because of the aggressive homeless in SF that I no longer give any of them change and refer to them as "bums" or "hobos." I used to actually give them some spare change here or there, or at least apologize to them for not having any. However, after being threatened, insulted, and harassed for this, now, I just don't make eye contact and don't respond. I have absolutely nothing but contempt and disdain for them, and this is solely because of their absolutely horrendous and ungrateful behavior.
My favorite memories involve:
- a female crackhead who'd come down to the Westfield food court where I was eating ice cream with a date who, upon being told that we didn't have any change, started screaming at us, reached over, grabbed our ice cream, and threw it at us.
- a guy demanding my change ("Gimme your #@##!#$ change!"), my telling him I didn't have any to give him and that even if I did there's no way I'd give it to him, calling me "a $@#$% tourist" and telling me to "get out of his city." I told him that it was my city and that he should thank me for paying to clean the alley he slept in, so he tried to charge me, but tripped on the curb and K.O.'ed himself.
- A guy coming up out of nowhere, grabbed my sister's hand, and kissing it. First off, no one touches my sister; second, she's a legit germophobe and is going to spend the next day lathering her hands in sanitizer and will probably go get a blood test to make sure she didn't conract any diseases. I threw him up against a wall and then did a sweep on him, knocking him over, after which he alternately said he'd kill me and sue me. Well, don't go grabbing random women and no one will knock you over, moron...
- A guy standing at the corner of Powell and Post in the middle of the day, running up to people who were waiting to cross and shoving his hand in their face, not getting anything and finally going, "IF NO ONE GIVES ME ANY MONEY, I'M GONNA #@%^ MY PANTS!" And, he did. He squatted down, did one in his pants, and then sat down in it, screaming "YOU HAPPY?" at everyone.
- A guy who came up to me one night as I was waiting to cross Market by the Westfield. I apologized and told him I didn't have any change, and he persisted, so I told him flatly, "I don't have anything to give you. I'm sorry." He turned to face me, sized me up, thought better of it, went to leave, then turned and said, "alright, well the next time you have a woman over and you want her to give it to you, she's gonna say, 'sorry, I don't have anything to give you.'" I nodded and answered, "if that had been coming from someone who wasn't going to wake up in their own ----, that may have been insulting." That caused him to go into a screaming fit.
Today I had a disturbing experience when I left the Bart station in downtown sf.
A mid to late 40s black man came up and asked me for change. I rarely give out spare change. I don't like to pull out my wallet.
I politely declined.
Next thing I know is he was speaking the most venomous words to me.
I'll paraphrase:
What, you won't give me any change. Stupid B. I bet you would <insert a ton of sexual expletives> with a white man. Stupid black Bs think you are too good for me but you ain't .....
He followed me to the edge of the staircase ranting and raving about my b*tchiness and worthlessness.
I ignored him.
This was definitely the most aggressive language I have seen when denying a homeless person.
I wonder if he thought I would feel like giving him some change after that tirade. Or what exactly that was going to accomplish.
How many of you have had a similar ridiculous experience?
I am on my phone, please forgive the typos.
I haven't had any horror stories or rants, but I never stop when a homeless person asks for change. I have given my leftovers from Japantown to a homeless guy on Fillmore. He said "God bless you" and then said, "thank you God." He then reached out to shake my hand, but I could see the caked layer of who knows what, but I politely smiled and shook his hand (then ran to the nearest restroom). I find the ones that don't ask for something are the ones who appreciate it the most. The others should be in prison or shipped to Alcatraz.
- A guy standing at the corner of Powell and Post in the middle of the day, running up to people who were waiting to cross and shoving his hand in their face, not getting anything and finally going, "IF NO ONE GIVES ME ANY MONEY, I'M GONNA #@%^ MY PANTS!" And, he did. He squatted down, did one in his pants, and then sat down in it, screaming "YOU HAPPY?" at everyone.
That would make for quite the entertaining day if most of the obnoxious SOB's would promise to execute this maneuver every time you refused to give up the change.
"You're gonna do what if I don't give you money? Really? Prove it!"
Getting heckled in SF can happen anywhere in the City, but it's almost guaranteed in the Loin. Just gotta expect it, and be ready to roll with it.
Today I had a disturbing experience when I left the Bart station in downtown sf.
A mid to late 40s black man came up and asked me for change. I rarely give out spare change. I don't like to pull out my wallet.
I politely declined.
Next thing I know is he was speaking the most venomous words to me.
I'll paraphrase:
What, you won't give me any change. Stupid B. I bet you would <insert a ton of sexual expletives> with a white man. Stupid black Bs think you are too good for me but you ain't .....
He followed me to the edge of the staircase ranting and raving about my b*tchiness and worthlessness.
I ignored him.
This was definitely the most aggressive language I have seen when denying a homeless person.
I wonder if he thought I would feel like giving him some change after that tirade. Or what exactly that was going to accomplish.
How many of you have had a similar ridiculous experience?
I am on my phone, please forgive the typos.
Stating the obvious: You got hit with a crazy one.
I do give out change but not often these days simply because when I first moved to the city I was a silly do-gooder. I realized I wasn't helping them by doing that. Now I offer food if they ask and are outside of a restaurant or store.
However, these days I don't really carry cash either, so reaching into my wallet would be a waste of time.
My latest mild encounter with homeless, panhandling, crazy and bitter was with one who reacted to me saying "no, sorry". He was like "everyone is sorry these days." I was thinking "be glad I have the decency to acknowledge you rather than just straight up ignore you." I didn't say it simply because I was walking by and it's sort of crazy to get into a yelling match with an unstable homeless person.
- A guy who came up to me one night as I was waiting to cross Market by the Westfield. I apologized and told him I didn't have any change, and he persisted, so I told him flatly, "I don't have anything to give you. I'm sorry." He turned to face me, sized me up, thought better of it, went to leave, then turned and said, "alright, well the next time you have a woman over and you want her to give it to you, she's gonna say, 'sorry, I don't have anything to give you.'" I nodded and answered, "if that had been coming from someone who wasn't going to wake up in their own ----, that may have been insulting."That caused him to go into a screaming fit.
That one was great because of your reply. Of course, the guy taking a crap in his pants in the other vignette is entertaining too.
That would make for quite the entertaining day if most of the obnoxious SOB's would promise to execute this maneuver every time you refused to give up the change.
"You're gonna do what if I don't give you money? Really? Prove it!"
Getting heckled in SF can happen anywhere in the City, but it's almost guaranteed in the Loin. Just gotta expect it, and be ready to roll with it.
Heh. You ever see the episode of South Park where they discover "the brown note?"
I worked in Union Square and rode the bus up Geary to get home; there are actually a lot of good restaurants in and around the Tenderloin, too... because of this, I was constantly running into some bizarre, surreal, and pathetic displays of desperation and insanity on my way to and from work, or to get lunch.
Oh, another one involving my beloved germophobe sister: we were at the Edinburgh Castle one night... sure, the place is waaaaaaay too hipster-douchey, but they have Death and Taxes on tap, which is one of the most amazing beers on the face of the earth. In addition, there was a barback who looked like Paul Banks of Interpol who had a huge crush on my sister and would leave off 2/3rds of the tab when he brought it over. Good combo... well, one night we were leaving, and suddenly, she slips and falls down on one knee. I reach down to grab her, and as I do, she lets out a gutteral, furitive bellow - she's slipped in puke, which is now all over her leg.
Standing over us is yet another female crackhead, who's got the twitches, and is standing there wide eyed and mumbling, and has puke on her face. "UUUUUUUUUUGHHHH," my poor sister yells, "GGGGGAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"
"My sister slipped in your #)$@)(^ puke!" I yelled, for lack of anything better to do or say.
"That's not my puke," she defended in a wavering, flimsy voice.
"I'M GONNA #!&#!%^ KILL YOU!!" my sister shouted and started to lunge towards her; we have the same temper, obviously. I held her back as the crackho scurried out and into the street.
Poor sister stomps back to where Paul Banks and the "doorman," who had a cylindrical 'fro ala Kid from Kid 'n Play back in 1990 that had eventually gotten too tall, grown out of a flat-top and bent over, prompting me to refer to him as "that dude with the phallic haircut" or "penis-fro" when describing him in conversation, sat with their friends talking about how ironic things were.
"SOME CRACKHO PUKED IN THE FOYER," she shouted.
"Oh, yeah," Penis-fro answers in a totally nonchalant fashion, "yeah, I meant to go clean that up-"
"Yeah, well, I #)!(@*% slipped in it, and now I'm covered in puke."
"Oh, sorry," Paul Banks says and quickly scurries away. The friends disperse from the table and Penis-fro goes to get a slop bucket. No offer of a free drink, no "there's a bathroom back there," not even really a sincere apology. We never went back...
Stating the obvious: You got hit with a crazy one.
I do give out change but not often these days simply because when I first moved to the city I was a silly do-gooder. I realized I wasn't helping them by doing that. Now I offer food if they ask and are outside of a restaurant or store.
Same here, and that's part of what made me so torqued off over them. Every day, I got handed the same sob story about being stranded and needing money to get on a Greyhound back to Hercules or Vallejo or Sacramento because their mom or aunt or grandma was about to die of cancer or something, about how they had a car and a job and all that, but their car got broken into or stolen and they were really embarassed but blah blah blah. They have an endless stream of naive tourists from different parts of the country and world where there's no homeless problem like this, and they make a mint off it - which generally goes straight in their veins, lungs, or nose. Basically, it pushed part of my personality and behavior over into the "libertarian" end of the spectrum, and that really pisses me off because I hate libertarianism.
I did, briefly, offer to give people food, but after multiple instances of them just turning away and asking the next person for change, telling me to shove it, and finally one situation in which the same woman who had thrown our ice cream at us took an entire half of a pizza that someone gave her in place of change and threw it at them, then kicked it at them, and finally started stomping it into the sidewalk, I opted to not do that, either.
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