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bmw335xi, I know Texas is growing, heard the cities were more affordable but doesn't any city in Texas require you to have a car?
You will still need a car in Texas, but there are districts where you can park and walk from bar to restaurant to store. You can also live in these districts too, so you could technically get around on bike too. It beats living an hour from San Francisco. And you'll still get a much nicer condo or home for much less than even Concord or Brentwood. You should have a good job when you move to the Bay Area, otherwise it is a bit of a rip off. Although, coming from Fresno, it will still be a breathe of fresh air no matter where you go in the Bay Area.
You're downright crazy for wanting to move to a high cost of living area in your situation. Let me share some perspective. People from high cost of living areas are moving to my state constantly. My city has a VERY low cost of living. Even in Pittsburgh, 30-35k is barely enough money for a single mother. My girlfriend is a single mother who earns 34k. I helped her with her budget and it was pathetic. She truly does not have enough for the basics. Her rent is $700 for a 2b/2b. She will be moving soon to a 4b/2b for $500. That will definitely help her make ends meet, but she'll be just breaking even on necessities, never mind having enough money to provide extra enrichment for her children. You think having a child is expensive now. Yours is only 5. It's going to get more and more expensive as she gets older. Keep your housing costs as low as possible so you can prepare a secure future for her.
OP I think that it would be very difficult to get by as a single mom in the Bay Area. Best case, you will find a decent one bedroom place for $900-1000 a month.
Utilities will cost you fairly similar to what you are paying in Fresno.
I am assuming you do have cell phone and similar expenses.
Traveling via transit to SF from the cheapest areas in the Bay is about $10 a day.
You are going to take home about $1700-2000 a month.
Rent plus transit to work is going to cost you about $1200 a month. Add in utilities, and that'll cost you at least $100 a month for electricity/phone. $200 a month for food.
That leaves you $200-$500 a month for savings, debt, sundries, out of pocket health care, gas etc. Very very tight.
Ruth4Truth, I hope for a happy ending too, and hopefully it'll be a happy ending wherever I end up
bmw335xi, thanks for the insight. I guess if the cost of living is low enough, a car with car insurance would be okay. I guess I really just don't want to deal with maintenance, dmv, and all that stuff, although it is convenient. I guess it all depends on how much I'll be making in the new job. Yes, I think you're spot on about the fresh air. It would be so much better than Fresno.
Hopes, thanks for giving me some perspective on living as a single parent. For me, living on 34k in Fresno, CA is enough to leave me $500 in savings every month after paying everything, including having some entertainment/shopping money. I know that the bay area is much more expensive but for me, it's mostly in the rent area that it gets costly. I know that I can loosen money is some areas and since my daughter will be attending kindergarten this fall, I wouldn't need to pay for full-time daycare either. I guess this really depends on your necessities. I'm not a big spender and most of my daughter's activities are free (going to the library or activities held there, parks, daycare activities/trips, etc), and she's very happy with that right now. I don't shop every weekend, maybe not even for months on end because I have the "if I don't need, I don't need to buy it" mentality.
I would have to kindly disagree on the idea that it gets more expensive as they grow older only because it wasn't the case for us. When I was little, me and my family (parents and siblings) lived in poverty for our entire life. My dad was the only one working making $18-20k/yr and providing for a family of 6. My mom was a stay-at-home mom. Money seemed to get better as we grew up without his income changing (because he stayed in the same job with the same company for the majority of the time). We are all 1 1/2 to 2 years apart so we were babies/toddlers at the same time. As we got older, my dad didn't have to worry about baby items, doctor trips, Christmas toys, and groceries lightened up because we could eat at school. All of our activities were through schools (orchestra, choir, clubs, sports, etc.) and mostly free. All of us went to great colleges and are doing fairly well. I'm taking my own advice of making sure I either get promoted or get a better jobs with better pay every few years so I know I'm moving up. Of course, the unexpected does happen but I am sticking with my plan for now. Btw, my dad used no government assistance besides medi-cal. So, I think it really depends on what you're used to having and what you deem necessary. My daughter can start working as soon as she's 16 (if grades are good) if she wants her own car, cell phones, clothes, etc.
Can you get any child support ($) from your child's father?
Do you have a lot of friends in the city?
Any of them who you might roommate with?
Any of them who are sympathetic to your situation as a single mother?
Any of those who would act as an "aunt" to your child if you lived with her?
They say it takes a village to raise a child....
I suggest you try to take (some) advantage of your friends. Not a lot! But, some.
My "vision" is that of you (1) drawing some/any $ from the child's father, (2) rooming with friends who (3) help you a little with child-raising.
That leaves the gaping question of where your child will go to school, though.
[/devil's advocate]
OTW, forget about living in the city. Just live close to whatever means of public transportation that can get you into the city, which is anywhere along BART or Caltrain.
Then you'll do what most surburbanites do, which is to commute into the city on the weekdays which should burn you out well enough that you actually appreciate the suburbs on the weekends.
Or, you can work and live in the suburbs and get your city fix on the weekends, which is not so bad when you consider how that'll make taking public transportation into the city actually fun rather than exhausting.
Jade408, I guess it all depends on where I live and where my job is, but I can see how tight it can get. I've been calculating over and over for myself :P
I'm also taking into account that rent will go up, daycare expenses will go down starting this August, no more car insurance and gas (as I will be selling it), transportation costs will go up (although I doubt more than what I pay for gas, insurance, maintenance, etc.), cell, internet, electricity, and utilites will be about the same, I can lower my student loans by going on a 20-30 yr. plan (I'm currenly on a 10-yr. plan), health insurance depends on the employers (my current employer pays 90%). Groceries is actually quite little for us, maybe $20/week but I usually throw in an extra $100 just for cushion, so $200 sounds about right.
I am focusing on jobs that will be able to cover all my expenses, but I am willing to take any job to make ends meet if it comes to that.
sjnative, thanks for the advice. I totally forgot about child support. I don't know how much it'll be, but yes, I would be getting that as well (although I don't expect a lot as he doesn't make much).
I can't roommate with any friends because they're roommates with other people or they still live with parents.
I currently am raising her and taking care of all her needs alone.
My best friend is almost like an aunt to her. My daughter loves her.
I am researching into schools and may take a weekend trip up to scout out some areas to live in.
I think I'll take your advice and of many others regarding living further inland and going to the city on the weekends. Sounds like something I can do and live happily with.
If you raise a child in SF and enroll your child in the public school system, you'll have to grapple with SF's school lottery system which has been fiercely criticized by parents and fiercely defended by teacher's unions- two groups who so often oppose each other.
SF's "desegregation" bussing has been taking place for decades and, coincidentally, the number of people raising children in SF has decreased along that time. Not necessarily a cause, but an undeniable correlation.
Preference then goes to children living in low-performing areas of the city, primarily in the Mission, Bayview, and Western Addition. SFUSD awards the final tiebreaker to students who live in the desired school’s attendance area. At highly coveted schools, such as Clarendon Alternative Elementary School, it’s common for few spots to go to neighborhood residents with no siblings already enrolled.
Yikes.
That's enough to scare me- and I don't even have kids!!
I guess this really depends on your necessities. I'm not a big spender and most of my daughter's activities are free (going to the library or activities held there, parks, daycare activities/trips, etc), and she's very happy with that right now. I don't shop every weekend, maybe not even for months on end because I have the "if I don't need, I don't need to buy it" mentality.
As they get older, you can't do everything free. There will be sports and activities that cost money. Clothes get more expensive. You can't get away with not grocery shopping because you will have an adult sized person who needs to eat regular meals.
Here was my girlfriend's budget:
1600 per month
-720 rent
-100 gas
-100 electricity
-150 cable/internet/phone
- 50 cel phone
-200 gasoline
- 80 car insurance
That leaves $200/month for food and clothing. Nothing available for car maintenance or if an appliance breaks. Her gas and electric would have been slightly lower if she didn't always need to get on a payment agreement for not being able to pay it on time but that would have only freed up an additional $40/month. We adjusted her salary deductions to get her a little more money than $1600/month but she is required by court order to provide health insurance if it is available via her employer. Sure, if she didn't have the car that would free up an additional 180 month but 80 of 380 would go towards public transportation for her, and her daughters would need bus passes too so she'd have $140 left for food instead of $200 if she didn't have a car.
Quote:
Originally Posted by neinei876
I would have to kindly disagree on the idea that it gets more expensive as they grow older only because it wasn't the case for us. When I was little, me and my family (parents and siblings) lived in poverty for our entire life. My dad was the only one working making $18-20k/yr and providing for a family of 6. My mom was a stay-at-home mom. Money seemed to get better as we grew up without his income changing (because he stayed in the same job with the same company for the majority of the time). We are all 1 1/2 to 2 years apart so we were babies/toddlers at the same time. As we got older, my dad didn't have to worry about baby items, doctor trips, Christmas toys, and groceries lightened up because we could eat at school. All of our activities were through schools (orchestra, choir, clubs, sports, etc.) and mostly free. All of us went to great colleges and are doing fairly well. I'm taking my own advice of making sure I either get promoted or get a better jobs with better pay every few years so I know I'm moving up. Of course, the unexpected does happen but I am sticking with my plan for now. Btw, my dad used no government assistance besides medi-cal. So, I think it really depends on what you're used to having and what you deem necessary. My daughter can start working as soon as she's 16 (if grades are good) if she wants her own car, cell phones, clothes, etc.
So, you want to choose to raise your child in a poverty type situation simply because that's how you were raised. It's great you plan to have better jobs with better pay throughout the years, but there is a ceiling for how much administrative can earn. There will be cost of living increases throughout those years too. (If you take cost of living into consideration, you are making less than your father earned when he raised you.) Even if you find that perfect apartment in San Fran that you can afford right now, the rent will increase at a faster rate than your annual raises.
Its not perfect but consider Davis... I live here now as a single mom with no family or friends nearby, and there are a lot of pluses:
Affordable low income apartments - I've seen these on craigslist, no huge waiting list. Even without that, you can get an ok 1 bdr for 8 or 900. Mobile homes for less.
Safe, low violent crime is important when you are the only one looking out for your child.
All the schools are very good.
Lots of free kid activities, great library, parks, university events, free concerts, farmers markets, and nice community swimming pools (those are not free but cheap)
Easy to get around without a car, good buses, bike lanes, walking paths all over.
People are pretty friendly, and while not exciting for a single adult, it's great here for kids. Very cheap compared to bay area, and you can get to SF in 1:15 driving (on a weekend), or take amtrak.
Also I second the Austin idea, I love it after a visit there, and housing is even cheaper.
I toy with moving to Alameda, but it would be a little tight and I make 50k...
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