I have a major dilemma and it is taking it's toll on me. (to buy, camping)

[KEVINandSARAH2]

SORRY I have to go now i need to take care of my kid's now unlike other people

[Sunnydee]

I understand how you feel. I've lived my entire life in Cincinnati and never felt like it was where I actually belonged. I absolutely hate the seven months of cold, gray, and dreariness we get each year and I absolutely come alive when I'm in a warmer, sunnier location. I get it. Unfortunately, our careers, families, and kids kept us moored here with only brief respites each year to sunnier locales. We are finally coming to the end of this phase of our lives and will get to Florida full time in the not too distant future. We are so psyched! If your marriage is worth saving, perhaps you can follow our lead. If the marriage is not salvageable, you must make your own path. Only you know if this marriage can be saved or if it's worth saving. I will keep you in my thoughts because you're most certainly in choppy waters. Take care.

[Gypsy-Moth]

Originally Posted by DixonCox

The cold, clammy, rainy, gray days here in Indiana put me into a tailspin depression that is hard to right.

I can certainly sympathize with this. People who don't get affected by constant gray skies have no idea what it's like and are too quick to dismiss it as a factor. Have you talked to your doctor? He may be able to prescribe something that could help you in the interim.

It sounds to me, based on what you said about your wife refusing to leave the hotel and explore what Florida has to offer, her refusal to leave familiar areas and her dislike of change, that she will not change her mind or anything else about herself or her life no matter what. I wonder what her response would be if you came back from the doctor with a seasonal affective disorder diagnosis. It sounds to me there is more going on here in this relationship.

You could try marriage counseling. Even if she still refuses to change, you might find it useful for yourself. It may help you to make some choices or feel better about some of the choices you have made. I speak from experience.

Your choices are more difficult because there are children involved. But coming from a home where my parents divorced before I was nine, I can tell you that divorce isn't the end of the world for the kids. It was for me a step up from living in a home where my parents were always violently arguing.

Good luck to you.

[pinda]

One way your wife would possibly decide to come with you if you both found out that living there is really making you sick. I don't know if this is a year long problem for you or not. My SAD lasts from Oct and lately through June (Usually May, but this has been very cloudy in Wisconsin). I start getting worried around August because I know it is coming and sometimes that stress takes a toll on me. I realize different people react differently when they don't feel well.

My husband and I really don't want to leave our Wisconsin family, but we HAVE too. The lack of sunshine really can affect people to different degrees. I get very, very weak and horrible feeling. I can not face another winter in Wisconsin. I am just praying that my husband will move this winter. I feel bad for him and really appreciate that he is willing to do this for me.

I know how you felt about Florida. We loved Austin area and Sarasota and feel drawn to both.

I feel very bad that you are so angry at people who, for the most part were trying to reach out and help someone who was reaching out for help. I always say, the intent means more than the words.

I hope you can work it all out, together.

[pinda]

That is pretty amazing that Gypsy-Moth and I were writing about seasonal affective disorder at the same time.

[gypsychic]

Originally Posted by DixonCox

Ahhh...thanks to some of you for the replies. I knew that was coming. It's not a moral decision. It is a life decision.

It is the hardest decision I have ever had to dwell on. I don't want to leave my kids, but I am so unhappy here, that I will lose them anyway when my wife leaves me because I am making her miserable.

Leaving my kids is the LAST thing I want to do. I love my family more than anything, and this is something I wish for them to share too, but my wife is being firm about not leaving her family behind. She is set in her way of as long as she has a job and her baby, she doesn't need anything else. She doesn't like change.

My wife came with me in June for a week, but seldom ventured out to see what was available. My kids went everywhere with me.

I am not running from anything other than 6 months of frozen hell, a bunch of whiny liberal neighbors, and 40 years of the same old crap.

I went back by myself the first of August to do some more exploring of the less touristy areas, some soul searching, and it sold me. I understand it wouldn't be a vacation, and that's not what I am in search of. I usually go on vacation in the Caribbean anyway.

I like Florida for the abundance of yearlong outdoor recreational activities, and the constant beautiful weather. The cold, clammy, rainy, gray days here in Indiana put me into a tailspin depression that is hard to right.

Nobody here gave you any Moderator cut: language replies - that there says EVERYTHING about your character. Not to mention your statement of "I am not running from anything other than 6 months of frozen hell, a bunch of whiny liberal neighbors, and 40 years of the same old crap."

You must be a real joy to live with

[121804]

interesting screen name....

[ZaraZoteBuccaneer]

...

[ZaraZoteBuccaneer]

Well there's probably been some presumptions spoken on here but I just wanted to say real quick that many of the posters who have volunteered to contribute their POV have given excellent advice time and time again, and some of them are even 'CD' friends of mine. Go easy on them because your topic is one that everyone wants to support (only given that your priorities make sense.)
I'll echo one last time, I understand the gloom of living further north, the dislike for the opposite politics around you, frustration with family issues and a longing for sunshine. It can all change.
Just spend some time trying to make what we all know (you included) to be the more important things in life, as good as possible, and don't throw yourself down to Florida on an impulse.
You do have some good things going for you that others don't. You can run your own business without having to worry about a job, you have kids that want to be with you, you have family and I hope you all have your health.
Spend that time with your wife like I suggested. and hey... you have one great way to her heart if all else fails... get closer to her family. You know she's elevating them on this issue right now. Use it to your advantage by spending time with them. Once the in-laws understand you, it makes it very hard for her to complain aout you without having them as your advocate. If you play your cards right, she should turn back on this issue for youu in no time and the rest of this will fall into place.

Let us know when you've turned it all around and we'll still be on here to give some recommendations for your future relocation concerns.

[YeahMon]

Just one more thing...this is not spur of the moment decision. I have been wanting to move to FL for about the past 10 years. It's not some decision based on a recent trip for vacation. I have discussed it with my wife the entire time I have known her. It's not a surprise, it's just the reality has finally set in.