Official "Seattle Freeze" Discussion Thread (fence, to move)

[VeronikaW]

Just in case it's going to score me any points, I'm Sicilian.

[VeronikaW]

Originally Posted by scirocco22

I purposely did this the last time I was in San Diego because so many here think that socal people are so warm and friendly and will smile and acknowledge everybody they meet on the street. I smiled and nodded to everybody I could make eye contact with and very few acknowledged me back. Some even looked at me like I was from Mars. I really could not tell any difference than if had done the same thing in Seattle.

The thing is, most of us aren't talking about walking in downtown San Diego, we're talking about walking around our neighborhoods, meeting people on the street around the places we live. If you do that in the Gaslamp, of course people are going to look at you funny, they'll think you're a whackjob or a tourist. It's not something that can be experienced just by visiting. Just like when my husband came to Seattle to interview for his job, he thought it was the greatest place on earth. Then we moved here, and it's a totally different experience. You can't base comparisons on just visiting vs. living somewhere.

V. =)

[judy3]

Rain, sometimes I wish it would rain more where I live. I tell people I like rainy days because they don't expect anything out of you. I believe many people think that an avoidance of associating with other people elevates them to a higher level. Many people feel that it is a waste of time dealing with people who will never understand their level of intelligence. If someone were to come uninvited into my home and I had to run out to get safe, I would hope to live somewhere where I know the people who live around me, people who form a community that acknowledges and knows one another. I would rather live in an ugly place, and travel to the beautiful places if ugly places are where the caring, compassionate people live.

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by VeronikaW

Just in case it's going to score me any points, I'm Sicilian.

All the points in the world....LOL!

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by VeronikaW

we're talking about walking around our neighborhoods, meeting people on the street around the places we live. If you do that in the Gaslamp, of course people are going to look at you funny, they'll think you're a whackjob or a tourist.

I went to visit a college friend in Carlsbad in North San Diego County (sidebar: whose spouse is a jerk, and the friendship has withered) about 3 years ago. I brought my cousin from Europe. They just happened to be having a block party. There were all these picnic tables end-to-end and food that was off the Richter scale. Everybody on that street knows each other and interact quite often and their approach is wonderfully casual. To me, that's normal. Both for me and my remaining parent, we don't know most of the people who live around our residences in the PNW. To me, that's NOT normal.

[jwb123]

we don't know most of the people who live around our residences in the PNW. To me, that's NOT normal.

No, it's not - and it took me moving away to figure that out. When we left, we had lived in Bothell for 3 years - and for many of our immediate neighbors, we didn't even know their names. The kids never played outside together. My neighbors wife had died, and I felt like we should do something - but having never had a real conversation with him - it seemed out of place....

Now, I know all my neighbors. The kids run the streets playing till the street lights come on. Nearly daily, I will sit out in the yard with my immediate next door neighbor and talk about things, while her daughter toddles around. You feel comfortable telling your neighbor you are going out of town and to keep an eye on things. Everyone waves at you when you drive down the street... or if you are walking, you will get a nod and wave... and the neighborhood has come together for activites and game nights, and when a retired man's wife was hospitalized. It's how a community should be....

[Topaz]

Originally Posted by judy3

I would rather live in an ugly place, and travel to the beautiful places if ugly places are where the caring, compassionate people live.

Amen! It took me until mid-life to figure this out, but I couldn't agree more.

Also, I can find beauty in a greater variety of terrains now. When I was in my twenties, if a place didn't look like a vacation post card, I judged it harshly. I don't do that now.

[seattlerain]

Originally Posted by Jenbar

No, it's not - and it took me moving away to figure that out. When we left, we had lived in Bothell for 3 years - and for many of our immediate neighbors, we didn't even know their names. The kids never played outside together. My neighbors wife had died, and I felt like we should do something - but having never had a real conversation with him - it seemed out of place....

Did you experience the same type of thing when you lived in the city itself?

[toughguy]

Originally Posted by Jenbar

No, it's not - and it took me moving away to figure that out. When we left, we had lived in Bothell for 3 years - and for many of our immediate neighbors, we didn't even know their names. The kids never played outside together. My neighbors wife had died, and I felt like we should do something - but having never had a real conversation with him - it seemed out of place....

Now, I know all my neighbors. The kids run the streets playing till the street lights come on. Nearly daily, I will sit out in the yard with my immediate next door neighbor and talk about things, while her daughter toddles around. You feel comfortable telling your neighbor you are going out of town and to keep an eye on things. Everyone waves at you when you drive down the street... or if you are walking, you will get a nod and wave... and the neighborhood has come together for activites and game nights, and when a retired man's wife was hospitalized. It's how a community should be....

Thats how my neighborhood was in Bellevue when I grew up. All of the neighborhood kids were friends, and there were parties and gatherings that each neighbor would take turns hosting. Now where I live in Redmond, I don't know my neighbors real well, and I prefer it that way. We are cordial towards each other and sometimes wave to each other, but we aren't all up in each other's business. I have nothing in common with them, totally different age group, income group, I am not religious like they are, etc....Your idea of a community is a an idyllic leave it to beaver existence, where all of the neighbors are roughly the same age, and everyone has 2 kids and a stay at home mom. Thats not "how it should be" for me. If I wanted nosy neighbors I would move to Texas. Your "I know best" attitude is grating sometimes.

One time one of our neighbors helped me move a bunch of yard debris with his truck. We bought him and his wife a few flowers as a thank you, because they are gardeners. After that, we haven't spoken that much. Why? Because they are a retired couple, and I am in my mid 20's.

[jwb123]

Did you experience the same type of thing when you lived in the city itself?

Hard to say, we were in a different place in our lives. Did we lead the 'pwright lifestyle' where the whole apartment building were friends, like the TV show? No. I do think the Seattle area (city limits in particular) is fine for those who are connected already in a relationship, without kids, and focused more on a career. I think though, a large group within the population, will feel the need to move on as they have children and want to start a family... especially if they did not grow up in the area.

Your "I know best" attitude is sometimes insufferable.

Then don't "suffer" through it and put me on ignore. I am only providing my opinion, and my experience.

You do a lot of judging and assuming, and I think that's part of your problem. Of me, of your neighbors, of whomever doesn't think like you....

I have nothing in common with them, totally different age group, income group, I am not religious like they are, etc

How do you know? We are atheist, and I would gather that we are probably the only ones on our block who are... but no one makes it an issue, or a divider. We have mixed ages and incomes in this neighborhood - and that was important to me. Can I say that I have tons in common with everyone on my street? No, probably not - but not every person in your neighborhood has to be your BFF to have a nice community feel... my husband and I are surely the only people with noticeable and large tattoos on our bodies... but I kinda have grown past the need to associate with only others "like me" in highschool... I can usually find qualities in most people that make them at least worthy of communication with me... (sacasm) I am still posting to you, aren't I?

Your idea of a community is a an idyllic leave it to beaver existence.

Yes, because I have children now - and I want them to have an innocent, 'keep them young as long as possible', fun and exciting childhood that they can look back on fondly... and help to make them productive, non-grumpy, compassionate adults, later in their life! I want them to feel connected to a neighborhood and community and realize the world is greater than themselves, and their little home.... is there something wrong with that?

I don't know my neighbors real well, and I prefer it that way

Hence the Seattle-Freeze!!! That's the WHOLE POINT to this thread!!! Great for unsocial introverts... hard for most other personality types who value community, friendship, activity....