Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I hope this thread doesn't come across as "trollish."
I have a couple of vegan friends in my life that are at times very annoying about their vegan ways, especially one friend who doesn't eat any animal products for moral reasons due to her passion for all animals.
When we go out for beers, I try to at all costs avoid conversations about food with these friends because they tend to get on soapboxes about their veganism if I let the conversation go that way. Sometimes it feels almost as bad as talking to recently converted religious people or people that are overly political about everything.
To the vegan community, have you ever caught yourself being obnoxious about your veganism? For those that have been vegans for years, did you eventually relax with trying to convert or guilt others into being vegans?
Honestly, I do think this post is "trollish." Why go to the vegan forum to complain about vegans? Or to the California forum to complain about people who love California, or to a Trump rally if you hate Trump and start asking everyone at the rally why they get mad when people bash Trump?
I've said it before - in the other thread - and I'll say it again. Nobody likes fanatics. And, nobody likes someone who stirs up the pot.
If you don't like how anyone behaves, regardless of what they eat or who they vote for, just don't hang out with them anymore.
So, when you ask if anyone has every caught themselves being obnoxious - back atcha.
I dated a vegan guy once. It was tricky if we went out to eat and wanted to share. And once in a while he would eat somethjng from a meat comtaining dish. It made me laugh.
I have met plenty of hardcore vegans and plenty of "normal" ones. I think veganism inspires a lot kf passion for many people and passion can also bring confrontation.
Location: San Diego CA>Tijuana, BC>San Antonio, TX
6,506 posts, read 7,536,063 times
Reputation: 6878
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robinwomb
I was vegan for just over six years (February 2011 to end May 2017). I was not extremely vocal in part because I am very shy, introverted, and suffer with avoidant personality disorder, but I was big into the ethical aspect and did some animal rights work. I joined Vegan Outreach and leafleted colleges and high schools on my own in my city (with guidance from Vegan Outreach and materials provided to me for free). I tabled at a private college in the student Union. I worked with the director of Nutrition Services to get vegan options on the menu at a local hospital which I was successful at. I also wrote management at various groceries to get vegan products on shelves. For the most part when doing these activities, I was polite, open minded, did not harass people. In fact when leafleting I had leaflets thrown at me, was made fun of etc but chose to ignore these comments and actions. I did not push materials on people who said they weren't interested, though I did approach people and ask if they wanted one. I simply moved on to the next person. Looking back, I can see how even this was probably annoying to people. I dislike when I am walking somewhere and someone shoves a religious leaflet at me. I just want to be left alone.
I did speak up at restaurants for my needs and wishes (after all I was paying the same as everyone else to eat there, why not have something I want?). There again I was discreet and polite. Often I would call ahead and ask about items, or research online menus where possible. I HATED to make a scene, in part because of my shyness but also because I battle an eating disorder and eating out at all is still a challenge for me as I hate to be seen eating. Long story. But I learned assertiveness quickly as a vegan lol. I'm sure I must have annoyed staff when asking questions like "does this bread have honey in it?" or "is there fish sauce in this Asian Stir fry?". But I only once had a bad experience with staff at any given restaurant (keeping in mind I eat out no more than five times per year on average lol). At work, I shared vegan dishes at potlucks, but often refused dishes offered to me because they were not vegan. At staff meetings in conference rooms where meals were "provided" and never remotely vegan, I brought my own food, the only person in a room of 36 people not eating a pizza and coke. I'm sure that drew attention (with thoughts like " oh boy, one of those health nuts") but it is what it is. I never said anything unless someone asked me about it, and I kept it short and sweet. I did not like engaging in political conversations about ethics at work.
My awfulness was with family. I was terrible to my family and partner, constantly trying to get them to convert to veganism and insisting that meals at others house be all vegan. Eventually my Mom and sister went vegan but neither lasted more than a year or so, but we did have all vegan meals for holiday get togethers. But sometimes my sister would use honey in a dessert and I would go ballistic. Looking back I am embarrassed at my ridiculousness. I would get mad when I caught my mother "cheating". My family would hide food when I came to visit lol. I had countless arguments with my partner because I refused to cook any animal products for him and I am the main cook and food provider, so by default he had to change a lot about the way he ate. I would not allow him to cook animal products on my dishes, and we had separate cupboards for our own food (still do). I have my own mini refrigerator even. Over time my partner became very accommodating and was actually quite open minded and generous and respectful. I would not allow meat in the house even though it's technically his house. But I would let him bring home eggs or milk if he kept it hidden from my sight lol.
I also began to see a lot of extremism on many online vegan forums. It wasn't good enough to be vegan. You had to avoid palm oil, any product made by a nonvegan company (or vegan products/companies who sold themselves to nonvegan companies, such as Daiya who many vegans are now against. And Just Mayo, because they test on animals, is now black marked by vegans). If you lived with or dated an omnivore, you were "disgusting" and not being vegan. If you fed your dog or cat meat, you were no better than an omni. If you took meds that were not vegan or tested on animals, you were selfish (this one really got to me). People would argue that non vegans didn't care about people or animals at all. I disagree.
My last year of being vegan I began to question many of the grey areas of veganism and this extremism, while also battling health issues and OCD related to my eating disorder (anorexia nervosa) and osteoporosis, which worsened considerably in my years as a vegan (with DEXA scans to prove it). I had gone vegan as a gesture of compassion and peace, but found I was angry all the time, frustrated with others, always striving for a perfectionism and an ideal that is impossible to attain. For very personal reasons I finally stepped away from veganism and am now vegetarian and feel much happier in this regard. There is less pressure, I am more laid back, I no longer judge others for what they eat. I get along better with family, and don't scrutinize every detail of every food or other product (though I still avoid wearing leather, wool etc, and use plant based soaps etc., I do have "used" items that have leather in them, and though my ballet shoes are specially made vegan, my point shoes are not due to the cost and time to have them custom made vegan). I used to deny that it was hard being vegan, but in truth sometimes it was exhausting because it often meant ordering stuff online because there isn't much for vegan shoes in a 200 mile radius of where I live (I was also obsessed with the glue in shoes etc), or driving or cycling to five different stores to find vegan food items beyond produce, bulk grains, and beans. Heck even raw nuts that aren't treated with crap like gelatin are hard to find here, and most bread has honey or animal based D3 in it, or stuff like L cysteine (which can be derived from human hair that didn't come from a human voluntarily giving their hair up, or feathers). I admit I still look for some of this stuff, but i don't worry about the tiny bit of honey in a product, or the little bit of egg or milk. My partner is allowed to bring his meat in the house now lol, though I still don't prepare it. I am MUCH quieter in real life about being vegetarian, but part of that is the awkwardness of going from an animal rights activist and well known vegan to a vegetarian who eats eggs and dairy now. I had to purge quite a few intolerant friends on Facebook who were hardcore vegan activists. but I have vegan friends in real life (from a former Vegan Meetup group) who are still very nice to me and not push at all (though I don't eat out with them). My coworkers and family have been understanding and nice to me. But I have also been called "wishy washy" and "traitor" and "never truly vegan". Seriously I could care less anymore. I left a lot of vegan forums and stick to only one or two vegetarian ones, but even there the occasional outspoken vegan will speak up about how vegetarians are no better than omnis etc. As if the morality and decency of a person is only based on what they eat and buy. I'm tired of some propaganda and secretly roll my eyes at some of it lol. I actually find it hard to be vegetarian from a social aspect more so than vegan because I am often judged by both vegans and omnis. I'm to the point where I just want people to leave me alone and let me be. I just don't push beliefs anymore. I go to vegetarian forums more for recipes and lifestyle tips and just social stuff and far less to talk about philosophical ethical and political issues. I do find on my personal Facebook page that I don't DARE include any recipe I have tried and liked that involves eggs or dairy due to the vegan friends I have left on there that I don't want to offend or judge me. So I post recipes I am excited about on vegetarian forums that are open to that sort of thing.
I am also learning through being honest and sharing my personal experience that there are a LOT of people who convert back and forth or are not as "strict vegan" as one might think.
Wow, thank you for the in depth and brutally honest response. Thanks for taking the time to share.
This is an interesting topic. I would say yes, I am a vegan snob of sorts, but more in the way of being a foodie, that I know what I am eating is better fuel for long runs, better for the earth and animals and my health than what the fatties have in their grocery carts full of what I consider crap. Would I ever say anything? No, never, but I am silently judging.
There does seem to be this holier-than-thou, "I'm more vegan than you" faction, who love pointing out that someone isn't a "true" vegan and they are some horrible traitor.
I recently got a copy of a vegan magazine that I hadn't read in a while. Frankly, I was quite taken aback how judgey and sanctimonious it was. I will not be subscribing.
I guess maybe part of it too is I've been a plant based eater for so long that is just is what it is and there is no longer the "shiny and whiny new vegan" high going on.
So, yes, I would say I am a snob, but I keep it to myself.
This is an interesting topic. I would say yes, I am a vegan snob of sorts, but more in the way of being a foodie, that I know what I am eating is better fuel for long runs, better for the earth and animals and my health than what the fatties have in their grocery carts full of what I consider crap. Would I ever say anything? No, never, but I am silently judging.
There does seem to be this holier-than-thou, "I'm more vegan than you" faction, who love pointing out that someone isn't a "true" vegan and they are some horrible traitor.
I recently got a copy of a vegan magazine that I hadn't read in a while. Frankly, I was quite taken aback how judgey and sanctimonious it was. I will not be subscribing.
I guess maybe part of it too is I've been a plant based eater for so long that is just is what it is and there is no longer the "shiny and whiny new vegan" high going on.
So, yes, I would say I am a snob, but I keep it to myself.
You just kind of said what I did in another thread.
There is some joking in the vegan community about "levels" of being vegan, like if you make this change you level up to Super Vegan or something. I just try to do the best I can. All of the amazing changes to my health in the 4 months since switching from vegetarian to vegan is my reward.
__________________
My posts as moderator will be in red.
You just kind of said what I did in another thread.
There is some joking in the vegan community about "levels" of being vegan, like if you make this change you level up to Super Vegan or something. I just try to do the best I can. All of the amazing changes to my health in the 4 months since switching from vegetarian to vegan is my reward.
That is awesome you are enjoying better health! LMAO at "leveling up" the vegan ladder, too funny!
That is awesome you are enjoying better health! LMAO at "leveling up" the vegan ladder, too funny!
I have mentioned it before, but this is what has happened since ditching dairy in July (I was already vegetarian)
Lower back pain - GONE. I was unable to walk across the street without being in agony. I had been to a chiropractor and nothing was helping. Within about 4 days of going vegan, the pain was just gone. I can walk for hours now! It's amazing.
Blood pressure has gone from pre-hypertension to well within normal
Acid reflux - GONE! I had given up on salsa and marinara sauce because of this. It has disappeared.
My skin has cleared up and I have lost between 12-15 pounds (I don't weigh myself or track it enough to have an exact number).
I sleep much better. I was waking up several times a night before, with trouble going back to sleep. Now I sleep through the night most nights.
Of all of these the back pain thing is the most amazing. The pain I was in was starting really mess with my quality of life, it was stopping me from doing things because the simple act of walking was too much to take. I just wish I would have done it sooner as I took several vacations in the last year that would have been more enjoyable being free from pain.
__________________
My posts as moderator will be in red.
I have mentioned it before, but this is what has happened since ditching dairy in July (I was already vegetarian)
Lower back pain - GONE. I was unable to walk across the street without being in agony. I had been to a chiropractor and nothing was helping. Within about 4 days of going vegan, the pain was just gone. I can walk for hours now! It's amazing.
Blood pressure has gone from pre-hypertension to well within normal
Acid reflux - GONE! I had given up on salsa and marinara sauce because of this. It has disappeared.
My skin has cleared up and I have lost between 12-15 pounds (I don't weigh myself or track it enough to have an exact number).
I sleep much better. I was waking up several times a night before, with trouble going back to sleep. Now I sleep through the night most nights.
Of all of these the back pain thing is the most amazing. The pain I was in was starting really mess with my quality of life, it was stopping me from doing things because the simple act of walking was too much to take. I just wish I would have done it sooner as I took several vacations in the last year that would have been more enjoyable being free from pain.
My friends daughter and son in law used to lecture her parents all the time about eating vegan. He loaned her his van (her dad) and when she brought it back she had McDonalds bags stuffed under the seat. That told me that most of them eat what they want anyway but like to put on the appearance they are better than you and know it all....
__________________
My posts as moderator will be in red.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
