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I am a black woman who is interested in and open to dating outside my race in the DC area. However, I am never approached by men that aren't black. How can I come off as a little more approachable to non-black men?
All of my boyfriends have been black, but I have yet to meet a black man in this area worth my time and I am expanding my options. I do not need a lecture about that, fyi. I also do not spend all of my time in places or participate in activities that only cater to black people.
I think interracial dating is more open in the burbs than in DC proper. But generally I hardly ever seen a WM with a BW in this city, I think the last time I saw that was in 2007. I have however seen more BM and WW relationships though, but still mostly in the suburbs. I've seen more black women with latino thwn white, but still thats not a by great enough margin. Again the suburbs seem to be more open, well except PG county in certain parts. Generally all races get along for the most part but people tend to stick with their own. You'll have more White/Asian and Black/Spanish combo than a mix of thing else, besides Black/Black, White/White, etc...
I am a black woman who is interested in and open to dating outside my race in the DC area. However, I am never approached by men that aren't black. How can I come off as a little more approachable to non-black men?
All of my boyfriends have been black, but I have yet to meet a black man in this area worth my time and I am expanding my options. I do not need a lecture about that, fyi. I also do not spend all of my time in places or participate in activities that only cater to black people.
To answer the question, in my experience from talking to white men the majority of white men are not interested in any type of long-term relationship with a black woman, or atleast one that leads to marriage. Plus, a significant amount of white men hold some negative stereotypes about black women; not all though. They may date a black woman for a particular negative reason (i.e. sex), but they usually marry white. Usually if a white man marries outside of his race it's usually some East Asian woman.
As for the Indian (Asia) and East Asian men, I would say they are the least likely to marry a black woman. Alot of them have negative stereotypes about black people in general; however, i'm not saying all of them, but a significant amount. If they do go outside their race, it's usually with a white woman, but most of the time they are with their own women. Especially Indians, they are some loyal people.
I don't know if you're dating to get married or not, but if you're dating for the purpose of marriage you're going to have to work a little hard to find that non-black man. However, I'm not saying it's impossible or anything; it's absolutely possible if you want it bad enough. If you're dating just to date then you'll have an easier time.
Just my $0.02
I was just wondering, what were the things about black men that turned you off? You said that you are expanding your options to (I'm guessing) find a better quality of man. So what are the particular traits of the non-black man that the black man does not possess? Just curious.
Also when you say black men, are you referring to men who are descendants of African slaves in America? Cause I was going to say there is a good amount of Nigerian and Ethiopian men in the DMV.
I am a black woman who is interested in and open to dating outside my race in the DC area. However, I am never approached by men that aren't black. How can I come off as a little more approachable to non-black men?
All of my boyfriends have been black, but I have yet to meet a black man in this area worth my time and I am expanding my options. I do not need a lecture about that, fyi. I also do not spend all of my time in places or participate in activities that only cater to black people.
I'm a white guy who is married now. When I was single, I always found myself quite attracted to black women - dating-wise, relationships, friendships, etc. Actually, I still am, but a wife definitely puts an end to dating and getting involved with others.
The biggest challenge was the same social circles don't readily exist. But you pointed out that you make an effort not to hangout exclusively in black activities/events.
I think all it really takes is a smile, and slight flirt, to make the prospective person see that you are interested. I don't think you need to 'ask a guy out', but just simply show interest. Most men know how to take it from there. I mean, if they are single and interested..
The other option is the socially taboo way, that is internet dating.
To answer the question, in my experience from talking to white men the majority of white men are not interested in any type of long-term relationship with a black woman, or atleast one that leads to marriage. Plus, a significant amount of white men hold some negative stereotypes about black women; not all though. They may date a black woman for a particular negative reason (i.e. sex), but they usually marry white. Usually if a white man marries outside of his race it's usually some East Asian woman.
This is a great post for this thread. Well, the black/white part of the thread, I can't really comment on the others.
I think this is generally true. However, plenty of exceptions. I almost married a woman from Ethiopia/Sudan - her parents were from each respective country. Didn't get married because the relationship ultimately failed, but not because of black/white issues - just typical type of relationship failure. I have a childhood friend, white guy, who recently married a woman from Nigeria, and they just had a baby.
However, generally speaking, white guys don't usually think of black women in the U.S., for the same reason that most black women don't think of white guys. They navigate completely different social worlds and realities. The two seldom meet. So neither one really thinks much of the other in the dating/relationship/marriage sphere.
I would 100% agree that when most white guys go IR, they generally always go with East Asian. I think it mostly has to do with the fact that they both navigate the same social spheres. That alone, makes it that they'll have a lot in common that sparks relationships.
The white guy only interested in sex. In ALL man/woman things, 'sex' is always a part of it. You cannot take that out. I think a black woman is just as likely to meet a black guy (all things being equal) with just a strong of a sex motive. This is simply a reality for ANY woman dating ANY guy (regardless of the two races involved). Generally speaking, most guys of any race have a very wide net for 'sex', a lesser net for 'dating', and a small net for 'marriage' (unless they are super conservative, and all their nets are the same). I think its a universalism regardless or race.
Last edited by Tiger Beer; 12-27-2010 at 08:49 PM..
This is a great post for this thread. Well, the black/white part of the thread, I can't really comment on the others.
I think this is generally true. However, plenty of exceptions. I almost married a woman from Ethiopia/Sudan - her parents were from each respective country. Didn't get married because the relationship ultimately failed, but not because of black/white issues - just typical type of relationship failure. I have a childhood friend, white guy, who recently married a woman from Nigeria, and they just had a baby.
However, generally speaking, white guys don't usually think of black women in the U.S., for the same reason that most black women don't think of white guys. They navigate completely different social worlds and realities. The two seldom meet. So neither one really thinks much of the other in the dating/relationship/marriage sphere.
I would 100% agree that when most white guys go IR, they generally always go with East Asian. I think it mostly has to do with the fact that they both navigate the same social spheres. That alone, makes it that they'll have a lot in common that sparks relationships.
The white guy only interested in sex. In ALL man/woman things, 'sex' is always a part of it. You cannot take that out. I think a black woman is just as likely to meet a black guy (all things being equal) with just a strong of a sex motive. This is simply a reality for ANY woman dating ANY guy (regardless of the two races involved).
Yeah, the social spheres one navigates has a lot to do with it. I also believe it has a lot to do with attraction though. You don't see as many white man-black woman relationships, but you do see a significant amount of black man-white woman relationships. I've personally met white women who say they are physically attracted to black men, a significant amount too. As for white men in regards to black women, not so much.
Also, it seems like there is this segment of Asian-American women (mostly second generation and up) who seek out white men. That's been my experience. I was thinking it had something to do with status in America (you know, if you go white you move up in the ranks) but I don't necessarily know why though. Maybe someone on here could explain it.
Yeah, the social spheres one navigates has a lot to do with it. I also believe it has a lot to do with attraction though. You don't see as many white man-black woman relationships, but you do see a significant amount of black man-white woman relationships. I've personally met white women who say they are physically attracted to black men, a significant amount too. As for white men in regards to black women, not so much.
Also, it seems like there is this segment of Asian-American women (mostly second generation and up) who seek out white men. That's been my experience. I was thinking it had something to do with status in America (you know, if you go white you move up in the ranks) but I don't necessarily know why though. Maybe someone on here could explain it.
I think its partially because white women are completely accepted in predominately black hangout spots. So, a white woman's social sphere is open significantly more than a white male.
White men, not so much. If you're a white guy openly trying to meet black women in a predominate black hangout, you're probably asking for trouble (unless you have an entourage of black males who'll have your back). For a white woman, this isn't an issue whatsoever.
If a white male meets an asian women, these types of issues generally don't exist. I mean, there are asian hangouts, but most asian women aren't exclusive to them, so a white male can meet an asian woman just about anywhere that he generally would go anyways.
In regards to reasoning why an asian woman might go for a white male. I think it's because they navigate the same worlds, and statistically there are more white males than asian males in those worlds...so therefore an asian girl's dating sphere is much greater if she's open to white males than if she's not.
Last edited by Tiger Beer; 12-27-2010 at 11:02 PM..
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