Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This was an interesting thread, I'm lucky to have a woman in my life, same one for almost 22 years, that's longevity.
I think people pursue careers cause of their interests, not everyone who is successful has gone to college, I know women with BSN degrees married to master Electricians, my wife is uber smart, college grad with honors, deans list, I'm a Army veteran with a technical degree in mechanics and refrigeration.
When you truly meet someone that you fall in love with you're not gonna care what school he/she went to.
Those of us who are nerdy women are in LTR with nerdy guys percisely because of shared interests, frequently jobs, culture, etc.
And that is the ticket. Unfortunately, the nerdy culture isn't what the complaining transplants are seeking. And DC has many of such types. Nothing wrong all with that but it's a good thing for it to be acknowledged.
Funny thing is that I have been going back home to Jersey more often and doing some comparisons. Many of my past school mates and brother’s friends are in the law, medical, wall street bankers, and my best friend in political field. But you would not be able to tell. When it’s game time, they are down just like the rest. They blend with the local home town buddies and hit the local joints. It's not uncommon to see them sporting exclusive nike sneakers and yankee fitteds. You wouldn’t even know some of them attended Stamford, NYU, Boston, and Harvard. But when it’s time to suit up Monday morning, they turn into a whole other person- this goes for both men and women.
But here, it’s not often you get both sides. It’s mostly always “on it”. Many don’t know how to turn it off- even the way that they dress. But it’s the culture here so you can’t really fault them.
I think I know what your issue is. You are too on it for the women here. Meaning, you are a bit too hot to handle. You are that smooth brother turned lover.
What I mean is that you have come around. Even you admitted that you had a good time early on with much success strictly dating. But now you are having bad luck. What changed? I think it’s that in the beginning, you subconsciously gave off those "dating, this is for ****z" vibes. You didn't really care because you had dates lined up. I remember your back to back dating stories. You were mowing them down one date at a time.
But now, you have another set of goggles on. You see things from a different perspective and approach things differently. You are not trying to spend your time dating and so you lead with a more sincere outlook and probably project this without even realizing it. You don't have that dating "jive tone" as you did. You now have the LT jive working on a project for 2 weeks seeking certain LT indicators. Even though you might have others on hold, you still were after that main squeeze. You want something more and you are conveying this message. Someone can't tell you to do what you did in the past cause you have been there, done that. You have moved on; no turning back.
Problem is, you are a bit jaded and have your defense mechanisms up and seeking these long term indicators form these women as I mentioned. Not matter how hard you try, it can be hard to revert back to the original "DON RLCMA". Furthermore, these chicks that you are attracted to are prolly the same ones you were attracted to in the beginning but you are now playing with a different set of cards.
That is just my observation but this seems to be what is happening. The only way is as you said, to look further north or south beyond the clenching DC center radius. Either that or move to Bmore.
I'm not going to lie. I'm happiest when I'm not on the prowl. You don't have to deal with the mind games, bad dates, etc. Plus I find when you're not looking women are more interested in you. I think they can sense men who could care less about them and others who are.
People who tend to be book smart wants wild girl who works at the lunch place he goes to all the time. Maybe an eye contact, who knows?
People who tend to be street smart wants a shy educated girl who works at the gov. Maybe some slang here and there, who knows?
You can be both, but those people got better things to do than mess with some girl who got issues. But it is what it is, right?
Only certain thing is that when a girl or a guy reaches enough status, all they have to do is sit there and pick who they want from all of the people who just don't get it.
I think I know what your issue is. You are too on it for the women here. Meaning, you are a bit too hot to handle. You are that smooth brother turned lover.
What I mean is that you have come around. Even you admitted that you had a good time early on with much success strictly dating. But now you are having bad luck. What changed? I think it’s that in the beginning, you subconsciously gave off those "dating, this is for ****z" vibes. You didn't really care because you had dates lined up. I remember your back to back dating stories. You were mowing them down one date at a time.
But now, you have another set of goggles on. You see things from a different perspective and approach things differently. You are not trying to spend your time dating and so you lead with a more sincere outlook and probably project this without even realizing it. You don't have that dating "jive tone" as you did. You now have the LT jive working on a project for 2 weeks seeking certain LT indicators. Even though you might have others on hold, you still were after that main squeeze. You want something more and you are conveying this message. Someone can't tell you to do what you did in the past cause you have been there, done that. You have moved on; no turning back.
Problem is, you are a bit jaded and have your defense mechanisms up and seeking these long term indicators form these women as I mentioned. Not matter how hard you try, it can be hard to revert back to the original "DON RLCMA". Furthermore, these chicks that you are attracted to are prolly the same ones you were attracted to in the beginning but you are now playing with a different set of cards.
That is just my observation but this seems to be what is happening. The only way is as you said, to look further north or south beyond the clenching DC center radius. Either that or move to Bmore.
I was talking to a friend of mine today and he was talking about all the hot women I met in 2014. I think my issue is that when I try online dating I get burnt. All the women I met and dated successfully last year I met in person. I'm not a good online dater because online dating sucks really (for me, at least). It's window shopping for most people. Women get bombarded with e-mails left and right and would rather date an abundance of men rather than focus on one. In-person game is the way to go because you can play to your strengths and women aren't so focus on how great your pics are.
I don't have luck with online dating but everyone I work with is married. All my friends are married so I don't know what to do. I am in my early 40s. Any suggestions?
I don't have luck with online dating but everyone I work with is married. All my friends are married so I don't know what to do. I am in my early 40s. Any suggestions?
I don't know why people say online dating is hard. Honestly I thought it was the easiest way to vet people before wasting time on a date from Hades. You message/text with a person for a bit, go out for something casual and go from there. The problem could also be expectations. Maybe people think that since it's online everyone is looking for a spouse straightaway. There's still a thing called chemistry.
Also I notice a lot of women who complain don't try. They don't try to look presentable or cute. They don't try to at least be cordial to men (even the lame ones) who approach them. Some women don't try to let down their guard and let a man prove himself...it's just whining and princess behavior then radio silence if a man does anything she doesn't like. I have a friend who stopped dating a guy because she didn't like his shoes. Good grief! A man still wants a woman and not an aggressive one-upper princess with so many requirements not even God could date her. I say this as a woman who's never had a problem getting a date or a boyfriend or a girlfriend for that matter lol. Be approachable, friendly and open. Simple.
The problem that I have encountered when I act "approachable, friendly, and nice" is men automatically assume I want them even if they are married. If I act more aloof then think I am not friendly so I can't win. Some people have luck online dating but I have had bad experiences. One guy I met online was an hour late to a movie and told me he forgot his wallet. Another guy I met online made me pay for dinner and I had to drive an hour to see him, he would never meet me half way. I met another guy online, made me pick him up, again I ended up paying for dinner and then when I drove him home, he said I was a bad driver and ran out of the car. It goes on and on. All the guys I have met in DC have over inflated egos that think they deserve super models from ivy leagues. I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination so I don't know what the problem is. I am sick of people telling me to go out more, date more, and lower my standards. They are pretty low.
The problem that I have encountered when I act "approachable, friendly, and nice" is men automatically assume I want them even if they are married. If I act more aloof then think I am not friendly so I can't win. Some people have luck online dating but I have had bad experiences. One guy I met online was an hour late to a movie and told me he forgot his wallet. Another guy I met online made me pay for dinner and I had to drive an hour to see him, he would never meet me half way. I met another guy online, made me pick him up, again I ended up paying for dinner and then when I drove him home, he said I was a bad driver and ran out of the car. It goes on and on. All the guys I have met in DC have over inflated egos that think they deserve super models from ivy leagues. I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination so I don't know what the problem is. I am sick of people telling me to go out more, date more, and lower my standards. They are pretty low.
You know I'm 42 and you say you're also 40 something? If that's true think back to our teenage years, back in our time we didn't have Internet and Facebook and city-data and this and that, if a guy liked a girl he asked her out face to face, no dating online or hiding behind a computer screen.
A lot of the younger folks today lack those social skills cause they grew up basically on the computer, no need to meet for coffee face to face when you can skype someone or instant message, it's ridiculous and a lot of our old fashion values have fallen to the way side and falling in love and meeting a man or a woman and dreams of starting a family is just not what it used to be and I think that's rather sad.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
