Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Alright, let’s cut this off at the knees. I’m going to go deep here so stick with me. I will also point out a few things that may not make sense to people at first but in time, you will begin to completely understand.
#1- There is a total disconnect within the subconscious of many of these women here in DC. The disconnect lies in the fact that they undermine the very texture that they are promoting themselves. To further explain, women go on to reference “men are so status /money oriented and it seems as if one doesn’t have a great job with power and status then forget about finding anyone decent”. But yet, these same women are prancing around wearing their “smartness” and master’s degree on their sleeves. So if a woman plans on moving to Kansas City Mo, is she going to immediately reveal how “smart” she is in her first post? You can think about that. Having the texture of DC already embedded in their minds, they break out the smart dress hoping to get the red carpet service but they have nothing else to offer.
#2- Book/College “smart” doesn’t equate to social aptitude or the ability to read, learn and adapt to the texture of a city. Each city has its own texture and women nor men can’t expect to run game the same way in a new city as they did in their last. Social aptitude would teach them that, not some AP Political Science course.
#3- If smart, FED job, master’s degree and good salary is all they can offer or put on to paper to make themselves more marketable, they clearly have no idea what men really want. The men already have the status and power so why do they need another power hungry chic barking orders in the bedroom?
#4- DC women should stop wearing “smart” on their sleeves and start talking about how they can actually cultivate a relationship as a WOMAN, NOT A CO-WORKER.
This is a good post but it doesn't cover the whole story. Here are a few more bullets:
5. Women are wired strongly for childbirth. Many educated woman who move to DC to take challenging jobs, deliberately avoid dating because they think it could be a quick detour off their career track, to include marriage and kids.
6. Women know their young cute days are fleeting. They don't want to give themselves to a guy who might just crave their beauty. So they only date if some massively successful, handsome go-getter type sweeps them off their feet. They think they can date more on equal footing after say 35, but fail to realize their stock has already dropped significantly, even if they are financially in great shape.
7. BOTTOM LINE - Many successful DC women have been goal-oriented in every facet of life. They don't take a tip from French women who say that is the worst way to find real love. Goal-oriented dating is the rough equivalent of men finding mail order brides.... neither are ideal and often don't work out.
The men are so status and money oriented. It seems like if you don't have a great job with power and status then forget about finding anyone decent. Has anyone else experienced the horrible dating scene in DC?
Let's turn the tables.
ME: Hi, my name is "Coldbliss"
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: Hi, my name is ________, nice to meet you.
ME: You look wonderful.
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: Thanks.
Uncomfortable silence.
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: So what do you do for a living?
ME: I work for a small non-profit professional society.
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: Oh, I see. Are in policy work or lobbying?
ME: Nope.
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: Oh (voiced with a tone of disappointment and disgust at the same time).
This is a good post but it doesn't cover the whole story. Here are a few more bullets:
5. Women are wired strongly for childbirth. Many educated woman who move to DC to take challenging jobs, deliberately avoid dating because they think it could be a quick detour off their career track, to include marriage and kids.
6. Women know their young cute days are fleeting. They don't want to give themselves to a guy who might just crave their beauty. So they only date if some massively successful, handsome go-getter type sweeps them off their feet. They think they can date more on equal footing after say 35, but fail to realize their stock has already dropped significantly, even if they are financially in great shape.
7. BOTTOM LINE - Many successful DC women have been goal-oriented in every facet of life. They don't take a tip from French women who say that is the worst way to find real love. Goal-oriented dating is the rough equivalent of men finding mail order brides.... neither are ideal and often don't work out.
Thanks for the add-on.
Mind you, I see absolutely nothing wrong with being hard goal oriented and not really wanting to settle down. However, as you said, those that are hard goal oriented or those that are trying to date hard goal oriented types have to realize that it is actually hard wired and adjustments must be made on both ends.
surprisingly a lot of women here fail to get this. and it's typically the single and the highly-educated women who are struggling but they never want to seek out the reason why. They rather just blame the men. Probably because that would mean them coming to the conclusion that whatever they're doing is not working and is wrong.
all of that masters phd stuff is great, but has little to do with what helps to actually keep a man, or gain the love and commitment of a man for a long period of time. And the truth is if that's what these women want, (i.e. family, husband, and not just one night stands or getting cheated on by other women) they should consider stepping their game up a bit
Can you make suggestions on how women can "Step there game up."
[quote=DistrictSonic;37600460]Dating here is not so hard, nor is finding someone in ones thirties. I am one of those smart career oriented women with absolutely no issues. I also know plenty who have no issues dating.
LMFAO!!! Am I the only one that finds this statement to be hilarious.
ME: Hi, my name is "Coldbliss"
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: Hi, my name is ________, nice to meet you. ME: You look wonderful.
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: Thanks.
Uncomfortable silence.
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: So what do you do for a living?
ME: I work for a small non-profit professional society.
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: Oh, I see. Are in policy work or lobbying?
ME: Nope.
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: Oh (voiced with a tone of disappointment and disgust at the same time).
Yeah, the women of DC suck too.
Wait a minute... you will tell a woman "You look wonderful" within seconds of meeting her? And you think the reason she is turned off by you is that you're not in policy work or lobbying? Bwahahaa.
Dude I've met PLENTY of guys who do GREAT with professional women here and their jobs have NOTHING to do with policy or politics. I'm talking about bartenders, firefighters, or dudes whose jobs are so boring I don't even understand what they do. They do well because they act cocky and confident and FLIRT with women. They don't kiss their asses with lame compliments like "You look wonderful."
That's not going to get you success with women ANYWHERE in the country. It's not a DC thing. No woman likes to have a guy suck up to her.
Save "You look wonderful" for your wife or long-term girlfriend. If you say that to a woman you just met it just stinks of you being desperate to please her. OF COURSE an "awkward silence" ensues. Saying that is a huge turn-off for any woman, and again, nothing to do with DC.
Dating here is not so hard, nor is finding someone in ones thirties. I am one of those smart career oriented women with absolutely no issues. I also know plenty who have no issues dating.
My guess is many of them want to find someone to be in a relationship and have kids and are coming into things a bit desperate, and to be honest, obvious. Desperation is one of the most obvious traits, and a turn off for many. It's like guys who want are desperate to get laid for the first time. Nothing is more obvious to a professional guy then a woman who is desperate to have children. Those who are not, or don't want kids, have a far easier time, no matter the age.
As somebody who is not just childless, but also childfree this is far easier. I am not the nicest person either. But I have never been desperate to be in a relationship, which makes being in a relationship far easier.
There is also the class issue, if you try to date beyond your own class it is going to be obvious as well. What you are putting forth with the fact the men are money and status oriented tells me they are trying to date up and seeing the difference in character, and what both men and women look for. At the same time they may have problems dating the geeky engineer or scientist with the solid, but boring career, and hobbies they find uninteresting. Personally I find the engineers and scientists far more interesting.
Being smart and pretty is not enough. I also do not see the education or profession as the issue, it is actually easier to date as professional woman in ones thirties, especially if you do not have or want kids.
Yes there are money and status seeking men out there, the solution is pretty simple, not to go after guys above your particular class. They are likely looking for women their own class with their own ideals. Date people who are a little bit different. Guys who are a little weird oddly enough make great partners.
Quote:
Originally Posted by coldbliss
Let's turn the tables.
ME: Hi, my name is "Coldbliss"
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: Hi, my name is ________, nice to meet you.
ME: You look wonderful.
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: Thanks.
Uncomfortable silence.
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: So what do you do for a living?
ME: I work for a small non-profit professional society.
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: Oh, I see. Are in policy work or lobbying?
ME: Nope.
TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL DC WOMAN: Oh (voiced with a tone of disappointment and disgust at the same time).
Yeah, the women of DC suck too.
I'm not a woman and I'm not in my 30s, so I'm going to speak from my perspective. I've been to events that has had 30 year olds and I've also dated women who have a more "prestigious" job(I'm defining prestigious as something that initially makes someone go "awe") than I do. I've never received the impression that someone else is judging me, or that they're judging others around them. I do notice that some people are very high strung or type A and might compare themselves to others because they have grown up in a household with their self worth is tied to achievements. I've also never received the impression that someone is choosing to date me because of my job title and how much money I make or choosing not to date me because of the same criteria.
DC is no different than any other large city - a lot of people date online and the amount of choices can overwhelm people to the point that they don't want to commit even when they've found a good partner. In DC, the ratio is also skewed towards men and continues to trend in that direction the older you get. Men, based on statistics, tend to favor younger women while women tend to want to date men around their age range.
Edit: I originally meant to respond to DistrictSonic since I thought the post by Coldbliss was also by DS. Anyways, my point is still the same since the themes about power are present in both post.
I know this has been brought up many times in this forum. The dating scene in DC is absolutely horrible. I know so many smart, pretty women that would be able to find someone in another city but they live in DC. They have tried online dating, blind dates, and anything else that you can think of but have not been able to find anyone. The men are so status and money oriented. It seems like if you don't have a great job with power and status then forget about finding anyone decent. Has anyone else experienced the horrible dating scene in DC?
Yes it is horrible. I don't think you can point the finger at either sex though. I'm 36 and if you know a lot of attractive women looking for a nice guy please let me know.
First off, I think online dating is terrible. I have lived in DC for almost 3 years now and dabbled in online dating. The problem is that it's really just window shopping. Women get bombarded with e-mails (especially attractive ones) which I'm sure is a huge ego boost. I have been on some great dates and bad dates and the latter is much more common. I think women use online dating as a serial dating platform for the most part. Even if a woman has a great time on a date she returns home to about 50 messages from potential suitors and then I think a lot of women think there may be something better so they continue dating. It truly gets old real quick. I have better luck meeting women in person because you both know if you're attracted to each other and it is more random which I think lowers walls and expectations.
I can't say I run into any people in DC focused on status and money. I think people believe that just because it is one of the highest average income areas in the country that everyone is a baller which is not true. Six figure incomes are common but the cost of living is also high. Most hill staffers, consultants, attorneys, and other common professions around here really don't make as much as you think. If I hear someone works for a Senator I'm not impressed. Where is their power and status?
In conclusion, if you're in your mid 30's and have your life together and you're looking for a good guy and you have friends who are too feel free to message me. Yes dating is tough around here but it is what it is.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
