Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Work and Employment
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-24-2012, 06:52 PM
 
16,376 posts, read 22,532,272 times
Reputation: 14398

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeexplorer View Post
No sane boss would set you up for failure ....
Correct.

This is why the OP needs to research the mental issue that boss likely has. So OP can realize that the boss is not a sane person. Sociopath workplace bully.

They have no concience. They purposely set people up to fail and they enjoy watching them suffer. Much the same way someone bad tortures kittens. Most folks cannot understand that people exist like this and they try to make normal sense of the situation.

People like this lie, they manipulate, they switch stories, they like to do things verbally so their is no proof what they did, they will belittle you in front of others and they will talk about you behind your back (and everyone else as well). Others near them stay silent, in fear of being the next victim. They see how all the others turned out.

You can spend all your waking hours CYA'ing when dealing with these people, but they are usually two steps ahead because they have no concience and you do. It's not worth the energy drain to deal with then long term. You are better off leaving them, getting away. Else your stress will be massive from trying to handle them the best way you can. It's a no win situation.

Just be glad it's only a job and not a marriage.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-24-2012, 07:00 PM
 
Location: Free From The Oppressive State
30,363 posts, read 23,827,261 times
Reputation: 38856
Quote:
Originally Posted by annerk View Post
DOCUMENT EVERYTHING VIA EMAIL!!

And send copies to yourself to a non-work email address.

If she asks you to set an appointment, send her an email saying

I'm confirming that you want me to call Jane Smith at 555-1212 to set up an appointment with her on Monday, June 30th at 9:00 am at Starbucks Coffee. Pleas let me know specifically which Starbucks you wanted to meet at as there are three of them in Your Town.

Now the onus is on her. Wrong number? She didn't catch it. Wrong Starbucks? She didn't answer your question.

As far as filing, send an e-mail and ask if there is a specific naming convention the company uses for files and whether they put the latest documents in an existing file in front or in back.

Bottom line, get it all into emails so when she tries to blame you, you can gently say, "I"m sorry, I sent an email verifying what you had asked me to do and didn't receive a reply so I assumed it was what you had requested."

She'll either back off very quickly or she's beyond psycho and at least you'll have backup during an unemployment hearing.

Best. Advice. Ever.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeexplorer View Post
I had a boss who told me :"You know I don't read your emails."

It is our job to chase the boss down and at least put up enough effort to get the information from him/her.

When the boss asks, you can say "I emailed you twice and called you twice and left you two voice mails but you didn't answer any of it."

I don't see anybody can blame you for anything. :-)
omg

Unbelievable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2012, 07:45 PM
 
9,408 posts, read 11,951,328 times
Reputation: 12440
You work for an inept boss. They are abundant. Nothing you can do but move on and leave them behind.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2012, 07:50 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,852 posts, read 35,180,843 times
Reputation: 22701
I have known people like your boss in the past.

Take every second that you can to try to find another job. Don't worry about doing a good job, because obviously, it doesn't make any difference how hard you try, you're set up to fail. So take advantage of having a telephone and an internet connection and apply yourself toward getting the hell out of there as soon as you can.

20yrsinBranson
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-25-2012, 08:36 AM
 
3,739 posts, read 4,642,542 times
Reputation: 3430
Quote:
Originally Posted by sware2cod View Post
Correct.

This is why the OP needs to research the mental issue that boss likely has. So OP can realize that the boss is not a sane person. Sociopath workplace bully.

They have no concience. They purposely set people up to fail and they enjoy watching them suffer. Much the same way someone bad tortures kittens. Most folks cannot understand that people exist like this and they try to make normal sense of the situation.

People like this lie, they manipulate, they switch stories, they like to do things verbally so their is no proof what they did, they will belittle you in front of others and they will talk about you behind your back (and everyone else as well). Others near them stay silent, in fear of being the next victim. They see how all the others turned out.

You can spend all your waking hours CYA'ing when dealing with these people, but they are usually two steps ahead because they have no concience and you do. It's not worth the energy drain to deal with then long term. You are better off leaving them, getting away. Else your stress will be massive from trying to handle them the best way you can. It's a no win situation.

Just be glad it's only a job and not a marriage.

Absolutely correct.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-25-2012, 08:17 PM
 
26,694 posts, read 14,605,183 times
Reputation: 8094
Quote:
Originally Posted by hopefulone View Post
Absolutely correct.
Seriously? You think a business owner or even your supervisor would have that much money and energy to toy with you? In large corporations where failing to deliver result once in a while doesn't matter that much, it may happen but I would still say it's not the trend and certainly not the norm.

I said this over and over again, I do not see the justification that the boss was there to set the OP up for failure or to torment the OP on purpose. She's rude and unprofessional (by calling others idiots), but she's not a wacko.

I still failed to see how the OP has done everything in his/her power to get job done before starting to blame the boss "setting me up for failure."

It's difficult for us to look into the mirror while it's easy to blame others for our own flaws or mistakes.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-26-2012, 05:47 AM
 
3,739 posts, read 4,642,542 times
Reputation: 3430
Quote:
Originally Posted by annerk View Post
It is good documentation for an unemployment hearing. Many years ago I had a similar situation with a psycho. I documented everything (this is before email) and kept it outside of the office. When she fired me and then tried to deny u/e, that documentation paid off during the u/e hearing.

And this is why documentation is so important.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-26-2012, 05:49 AM
 
3,739 posts, read 4,642,542 times
Reputation: 3430
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ringo1 View Post
Ummm, actually they won't.

Not only is the purpose to have a paper trail in the event you need it in the future - but, and perhaps more importantly, once you start dishing their words back to them in writing . . . . the bully boss starts to understand that you know what's UP. That you know they are targeting you for no good reason.

And, that you don't intend to back down without a fight. And sometimes this is enough to turn things around. The bully boss might seek out an easier target. Maybe not.

I'm not seeing a poor employee based on these posts. Assuming this is a good employee .. who has run across a very bad boss.

It does happen to most of us at one time or another. The survival strategies are well documented.
Agreed.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-04-2012, 02:50 PM
 
3 posts, read 4,117 times
Reputation: 10
Thanks all of you for the feedback. I Googled 'Sociopath Workplace Bully' and I felt like I was reading line-by-line about this woman. The Jekyll/Hyde personality, evasion of accountability... One minute she's literally screaming, the next, she's texting me about whether she should get a Mac or a PC.

I don't feel like I'm a bad employee. In fact, I usually operate under the assumption "If you're always having problems, you're the problem." I feel like I'm working around the clock to get her off my back, but my old method of being punctual, responsible, and professional aren't working at this company.

If I ask for clarification, I am "wasting her time." She seems acutely aware of it when I'm trying to create a paper-trail. I ask for confirmation on assignments, and the retort I get is, "Why are you panicking? Call me and we can talk about it."

She has been writing group emails detailing everyone's mistakes, and often threatens to fire the entire team over it. Six of her contractual deadlines were missed when she didn't do her requirements, so she asked me to start reading them for her and adding to her calendar so she wouldn't forget.

I started doing so. About a week later, in the group email detailing mistakes, "We missed 6 deadlines because BBQ didn't add to calendar." (No, I didn't add them to the calendar, because this was before she asked me to start doing so. Now I'm the scapegoat for past mistakes, too?) I responded saying, "Since you asked me to review your contracts, every item has been on your calendar. If you notice anything missing from your calendar, I would appreciate it if you talked to me about it directly."

She then told me, simply, "I don't need you to make suggestions."

We are not allowed to write training guides or offer suggestions on streamlining the process, because she says it's waste of company time, and we don't know what it takes to run a business. Fine. Maybe I don't, but I can't see the flaw in a training guide so we can have the tools to do our work.

Since I started, 5 out of her 8 employees have quit. Now it's just three of us, and I have a feeling the wrath will continue to get worse.

I really really appreciate the advice and support. It feels good just to talk about it and realize that I'm not alone.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-05-2012, 10:25 AM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
33,942 posts, read 22,585,019 times
Reputation: 25817
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonymousBBQ View Post
Thanks all of you for the feedback. I Googled 'Sociopath Workplace Bully' and I felt like I was reading line-by-line about this woman. The Jekyll/Hyde personality, evasion of accountability... One minute she's literally screaming, the next, she's texting me about whether she should get a Mac or a PC.

I don't feel like I'm a bad employee. In fact, I usually operate under the assumption "If you're always having problems, you're the problem." I feel like I'm working around the clock to get her off my back, but my old method of being punctual, responsible, and professional aren't working at this company.

If I ask for clarification, I am "wasting her time." She seems acutely aware of it when I'm trying to create a paper-trail. I ask for confirmation on assignments, and the retort I get is, "Why are you panicking? Call me and we can talk about it."

She has been writing group emails detailing everyone's mistakes, and often threatens to fire the entire team over it. Six of her contractual deadlines were missed when she didn't do her requirements, so she asked me to start reading them for her and adding to her calendar so she wouldn't forget.

I started doing so. About a week later, in the group email detailing mistakes, "We missed 6 deadlines because BBQ didn't add to calendar." (No, I didn't add them to the calendar, because this was before she asked me to start doing so. Now I'm the scapegoat for past mistakes, too?) I responded saying, "Since you asked me to review your contracts, every item has been on your calendar. If you notice anything missing from your calendar, I would appreciate it if you talked to me about it directly."

She then told me, simply, "I don't need you to make suggestions."

We are not allowed to write training guides or offer suggestions on streamlining the process, because she says it's waste of company time, and we don't know what it takes to run a business. Fine. Maybe I don't, but I can't see the flaw in a training guide so we can have the tools to do our work.

Since I started, 5 out of her 8 employees have quit. Now it's just three of us, and I have a feeling the wrath will continue to get worse.

I really really appreciate the advice and support. It feels good just to talk about it and realize that I'm not alone.
You've got a clear signpost here - get out if at all possible. The sooner the better.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Work and Employment

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top