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That always seems to be the view from people in Germany on this matter - that so-called polite people are actually just hiding some terrible thing they want to say, but don't....hmm
That's hard to say. I have meet many people from around the world, and just about all of them are nice. I use to be stationed in Germany, and I had a blast. I also lived in Italy, and had a great time there too.
I really wish the people in the US would be a little bit more friendlier. Everyone is just too busy chasing the almighty dollar.
So I guess the saying is true. "Money is the root of all evil".
For me, the most polite people I've ever experienced are the Turks, followed closely by the Swiss and the Japanese.
i would have to say that politeness is easily confused with kindness and affection, it is neither. politeness is insincere.
best one i know is japanese, followed by french, next english.
I must say the English people. I've met people from all over the world, but the only ones who have apologized when I have bumped into them, have been Englishmen. Very nice and polite in general, wether their behavior or attitudes towards me or others have been sincere or insencere.
However, I think one will point out a different people depending on what behavior or attitudes one considers being part of the term "politeness".
That always seems to be the view from people in Germany on this matter - that so-called polite people are actually just hiding some terrible thing they want to say, but don't....hmm
Since 13 years I am now married to an Asian woman. Visiting Asia with her and being around Asians gave me some possibilities to glimpse behind the scenes. I do know some people from the countries I stated, so I don't fudge a story here.
I grew up in Berlin, and within Germany people from Berlin are known to be a bit harsh at times, but straightforward. And speaking for myself... I prefer people being a bit gruff and sincere, rather than being very polite and insincere.
But that was exactly my point, the assumption that someone who is polite is automatically considered insincere (while gruff = sincere) I lived nearly 10 years in Germany and this does seem to be the prevailing mindset there. Certainly there will always be some who are insincere but to paint them all with the same brush is quite unfair. Also, someone can be quite gruff while being insincere.
Regardless of how one feels beneath the surface, politeness is the mortar between the bricks of a civil society. If everyone ran around saying exactly what they think to everyone they see, and never yielded to the other person on the road or sidewalk, or bothered to stand in line and wait their turn - you end up with a society where it is everyone for himself - better known as a jungle.
Politeness is the supression of the self gratification of saying and doing what you want to allow for more peaceful interaction between people. It is putting the other person before yourself, even if just for a minute or two. Its a matter of how well you can control your own ego.
And while brutal honesty may seem like something to admire, 99% of the time it is more brutal than honest (and meant to boost the ego of the person saying it). Honesty without brutality should be the goal.
But that was exactly my point, the assumption that someone who is polite is automatically considered insincere (while gruff = sincere) I lived nearly 10 years in Germany and this does seem to be the prevailing mindset there. Certainly there will always be some who are insincere but to paint them all with the same brush is quite unfair. Also, someone can be quite gruff while being insincere.
I am neither saying that all polite people are insincere, nor that all gruff people are sincere. And bearing in mind that you just lumped together some 82.500.000 Germans, you should not accuse me of painting all with the same brush. You state your experiences, and so do I.
What I am saying though is that I prefer people being straightforward. If they are able to communicate that in a polite package... even better.
Quote:
Regardless of how one feels beneath the surface, politeness is the mortar between the bricks of a civil society. If everyone ran around saying exactly what they think to everyone they see, and never yielded to the other person on the road or sidewalk, or bothered to stand in line and wait their turn - you end up with a society where it is everyone for himself - better known as a jungle.
In my opinion you are drawing a black and white picture here. What I understand from your words is that as more polite people are, as better they do depict the civilized world. Else will lead us to imbruting. At least this made my wifey smile... without doubt Asians are considered being more polite than Europeans or Americans.
I have to say that I disagree with you, and I hope that you don't misinterpret my openness as being impolite.
There is something in between... you need to find a balance between forthrightness and not hurting people. Ultimate politeness will try to never hurt people, and that will definitely end up in hiding things. If that happens it will then not be the mortar, but chewing gum between the bricks of a civil society - because you need to learn reading between the lines.
Your nickname indicates that you came around a bit already... did you ever work or make business in Asia? You should then understand what I mean.
My mom went to Turkey for two weeks two months after 9-11 and fell in love with the people. One woman who did not speak English looked at her sadly and motioned a tear from her eye down her cheek with her finger.
My travel has been limited, but the people that I met in Guyana were so polite- both those in Georgetown and the people in the rural areas. And I have a friend from Pakistan and she and her family are very proper and polite.
Bahamas...not so polite!
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