The Death Penalty

Despite the evidence being strictly circumstantial and perhaps even imagined in some ways, I hereby order the death of a certain mouse in my attic to commence as quickly as possible.

The charges against said mouse are as follows:

1. Chewing up to three holes in my hot water plumbing line over the last year. This has caused exorbitant damage to my attic, the insulation in the attic, and the sheetrock in my upstairs bedroom.

2. As a result of said damages, on multiple occasions said mouse has caused repairs of exactly $782, $400, and $573 dollars equaling a grand total of $1755 over the past year.

3. Because of the necessity to release the pressure from the hot water tanks via the pressure relief valve so as to be able to effectively drain any pressure from the line, said mouse has inadvertently caused two pressure relief valves to go bad. The necessary actuation of said valves resulted in their failure to restore to the original state. Said mouse is, by proxy, responsible for these damages as well - resulting in charges approximating $200.

4. Said mouse has violated several trespassing laws that have been upheld since my occupancy has gone into effect in my house. That charge alone is not punishable by death but repeated successful attempts with blatant disregard for the law are indeed punishable by death. Said mouse has entered and left the house numerous times and I have the hole to prove it.

As a result of the above mentioned charges against the mouse in my attic, I find him guilty on every and all charge. The resulting punishment will be death by way of mouse trap or by glue trap. I leave it up to the jury (my fellow readers) to vote on the means of death.

Shall he perish quickly at the hands of the almighty mouse trap or shall he slowly starve to death as he's trapped in the confines of the illustrious glue trap? No mercy and no justice will be shown to this terrorist of my household. He will be punished and justice will be served!