Colouring books,divine spirits in women,melancholy Christmas
Reading about a dancing mania that struck Germany centuries ago.It sounds very interesting.Feel a need to buy some colouring books and watch documentaries,just to colour pretty things would be great.I'm being gentle and very kind on myself because my high of late is moving on,and various other awful battles.Its always a bit hellish when you become hum drum again,though I'm liking some equilibrium.I feel at the moment though that I'm not really able to express my creativity like I use too and I think this is causing pent up energy.I try to write stories or paint but everything feels blocked since the brain damage,I can't process it,yet the creative energy is flooding me and keen to get out.Well I feel very lucky to have had many many creative and soaring days over the course of my life,I don't know what it is to be in the common chorus or crowd.I did write an awful lot on Sunday but it was mostly wishes and wants, nothing like what I wanted to be writing - which was poems.I just wanted to write non stop, and I was so in love it was just this surge of passion and profundity.I did write a poem Tuesday about doomsday,as always.
I just watched the trailer for 'Touched by fire' about two manic depressive poets in love,I don't think Katie Holmes was a good choice for the role,but I may still watch it.I would like to see a British film with this theme,there must be one,I just never like American films,always finding them very dilly or fluff.The film was inspired by the book 'Touched by fire' which looks at the strong connection between creative genius and manic depression or bipolar.To me it's not medical, but a great surge of spirit that brings a person to great heights or plagues one down, and that is how it's been understood for over 60,000 years.Theres also the whole idea of the artistic temperament which is what we use to call it.
I am also now reading on Lucia Joyce the daughter of famed writer James Joyce,another one who felt clairvoyant,bombarded by spirits and was placed in an asylum for over 40 years.I may write her into my article on Famed women in the Asylums.The feminists cry "oh it was just a bit of female hysteria, the oppressive patriarchy put her away" but they really have no idea how confusing,chaotic,violent,endangering and malevolent the spirits that plague people can be.I truly loathe the word "mental illness" for what are truly spiritual illnesses and emergencies,energetic problems.How is it that for over 60,000 years we attributed madness et al to malignant and marvellous spirits that gave people depression,or mania,or schizophrenia and in the last few decades it's become just a simple brain blip.Psychic or intuitive power in women,women who moved between worlds,spirited women use to be incredibly prized since ancient times,you were a seer,or a veleda,or a volva,or a sibyl,now it's a mental illness to say you have visions of the future,or see and hear things,or reach a high divine state,that's how much masculine reason now dominates over the feminine intuition and feminine principles.
Thinking on Lucia Joyce reminds me of another daughter of a famed writer who also went straight to the asylum for her entire life,Victor Hugo's daughter,Adele Hugo.I guess the genius in their famed fathers was too strong in their daughters and expended itself.In many ways the strong spiritual energies in these two women were simply not allowed existence or aligned in any way,and so turned into their destructive forms and were confined.Its a very sad image.I guess that's all that's been occupying me lately poets,writers and women in Asylums.Mad genius has been on my mind everyday and that's all I'm reading on.
Im also just listening to music to cheer my soul when I find my mind too blank to bear and my problems too vast.I never liked music much, but now I find I need it all the time.Feeling sad about Christmas, for some reason since the brain damage I can't feel Christmas or what it evokes.Christmas definitely has a distinct cosy enchanted feeling - the Christmas spirit, that I always felt whilst watching Xmas cartoons or putting up a tree,but now I can't feel it at all.Maybe the Anglo Saxons were right in calling the brain a 'spirit chest' because since this injury I can't feel the Christmas 'spirit' or what Christmas evokes,you really only understand what a distinct feeling it is when you lose it.No doubt this season will be very hard for me.Anyway I'm now off to have my lunch and maybe write more happy things.
I just watched the trailer for 'Touched by fire' about two manic depressive poets in love,I don't think Katie Holmes was a good choice for the role,but I may still watch it.I would like to see a British film with this theme,there must be one,I just never like American films,always finding them very dilly or fluff.The film was inspired by the book 'Touched by fire' which looks at the strong connection between creative genius and manic depression or bipolar.To me it's not medical, but a great surge of spirit that brings a person to great heights or plagues one down, and that is how it's been understood for over 60,000 years.Theres also the whole idea of the artistic temperament which is what we use to call it.
I am also now reading on Lucia Joyce the daughter of famed writer James Joyce,another one who felt clairvoyant,bombarded by spirits and was placed in an asylum for over 40 years.I may write her into my article on Famed women in the Asylums.The feminists cry "oh it was just a bit of female hysteria, the oppressive patriarchy put her away" but they really have no idea how confusing,chaotic,violent,endangering and malevolent the spirits that plague people can be.I truly loathe the word "mental illness" for what are truly spiritual illnesses and emergencies,energetic problems.How is it that for over 60,000 years we attributed madness et al to malignant and marvellous spirits that gave people depression,or mania,or schizophrenia and in the last few decades it's become just a simple brain blip.Psychic or intuitive power in women,women who moved between worlds,spirited women use to be incredibly prized since ancient times,you were a seer,or a veleda,or a volva,or a sibyl,now it's a mental illness to say you have visions of the future,or see and hear things,or reach a high divine state,that's how much masculine reason now dominates over the feminine intuition and feminine principles.
Thinking on Lucia Joyce reminds me of another daughter of a famed writer who also went straight to the asylum for her entire life,Victor Hugo's daughter,Adele Hugo.I guess the genius in their famed fathers was too strong in their daughters and expended itself.In many ways the strong spiritual energies in these two women were simply not allowed existence or aligned in any way,and so turned into their destructive forms and were confined.Its a very sad image.I guess that's all that's been occupying me lately poets,writers and women in Asylums.Mad genius has been on my mind everyday and that's all I'm reading on.
Im also just listening to music to cheer my soul when I find my mind too blank to bear and my problems too vast.I never liked music much, but now I find I need it all the time.Feeling sad about Christmas, for some reason since the brain damage I can't feel Christmas or what it evokes.Christmas definitely has a distinct cosy enchanted feeling - the Christmas spirit, that I always felt whilst watching Xmas cartoons or putting up a tree,but now I can't feel it at all.Maybe the Anglo Saxons were right in calling the brain a 'spirit chest' because since this injury I can't feel the Christmas 'spirit' or what Christmas evokes,you really only understand what a distinct feeling it is when you lose it.No doubt this season will be very hard for me.Anyway I'm now off to have my lunch and maybe write more happy things.
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