Are You Experiencing Unavailable Partner Fatigue?

[FONT=Times New Roman]By Dr. Jeanette Raymond[/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]Do you wonder why you always end up with a lover who seems really into you one minute and indifferent the next? :rolleyes:[/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]Does the dialogue inside you go something like this?[/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]Isn’t anyone out there ready for commitment?[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]Is there something wrong with me? [/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]Do I just have a homing instinct for emotionally unavailable partners?[/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]There are many reasons why you may be finding yourself with a lover who becomes unavailable over and again. [/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]The common theme is [B]FATIGUE. [/B]You are probably chronically fatigued with relationship uncertainty.:eek:[/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]Tired with having to look around for the right person[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]Tired of wondering if you are attractive outside and inside[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]Tired of having to find someone who makes you feel good[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]Tired of having to please[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]Tired of having to perform[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]Tired of waiting for the signs of loyalty and commitment[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]Tired of searching for evidence that you are really the one[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]Tired of worrying if the relationship is real, and lasting. [/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]Lets look at the [B]F[/B] of fatigue - [B]The Fear Factor[/B][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]I know what you are thinking! Oh no! Not that fear of abandonment stuff again. NO, it’s not about preempting being left. [/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]It’s [B][I]Fear of being found unlovable[/I][/B][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]If you work hard to be the perfect date, you are probably trying to cover up what you believe to be unattractive parts of yourself. Your whole focus is on pleasing your partner, making sure you give no cause for complaint. That’s like doing a stage act where you perform for an audience of one. Instead of being WITH your partner, you have put yourself in a costume, out of reach, something to be admired. When the music stops and the curtain falls, your partner drops the ticket stub and leaves.[/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]By hiding the real you that your partner first fell in love with, you make yourself unavailable. So your partner drifts, makes excuses, breaks promises, and gets noticeably cooler. You feel let down, angry that your efforts have been wasted yet again and you wonder what’s wrong with you? You are right back in that self-destructive cycle that makes sure you will never experience a genuinely mutual committed relationship.[/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]Doesn't that make you mad? You can [URL="http://www.drjeanetteraymond.com"]use that anger profitably[/URL] and keep good partners.[/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]copyright Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. All rights reserved to Dr. Jeanette Raymond, 2008.[/FONT]