Intervention...
Posted 06-22-2008 at 08:37 PM by mams1559
My dear online family (you know who you are), you supported my in my hour of need (again) and I thank you for that. Your words actually started the process that was carried over by my wife, then my family, then my Pastor ... an intervention. Ultimately, I believe it to be a divine intervention.
I received this yesterday morning (6/22) via email - a daily encouraging word I subscribe to: Every word of God proves true. He is a shield to all who come to him for protection. ~ Proverbs 30:5, NLT
And this one received this morning (6/23): But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. ~ Jeremiah 17:7, NLT
They just tie-in so neatly to what I experienced this weekend. Let me share that with you.
Well, I was spinning out of control by late Friday night. I was confused and lost and even scared .. on the inside. I have a propensity to keep things inside and not show how bad it is on the outside. However, this time my wife was not buying it. She knew something was wrong and bothering me and she persisted in finding out what. I didn't want to cause her grief so I was only giving bits and pieces. Well, then Saturday she came on here and read my blog.
So then the talking begins .. the real talking about my feelings and fears. She is remarkable and I'm blessed to have her in my life. She listened and spoke and we prayed. Then she enlisted the help of my family. Basically, everyone -- mom, brothers, sister and in-laws came when they heard I was hurting. Up to this point I remained stubborn. I felt unworthy of the attention. I felt they were seeing me "hamming it up" so to speak. I was supremely uncomfortable being the center of their attention.
So there was arguing and shouting and confrontation. And there was sharing. And they were echoing what you guys had told me already. There were tears as well. Of course, my mother and one brother are deacons at our church and got Pastor involved. He came as well, later. So by Saturday evening, around supper time, God finally got through to this stubborn man.
The walls I had built up came down. I broke down. I heard God telling me it was okay. God showed me I had been trying to do it on my own. God showed me why that can't work. He showed me that this wasn't a new crisis, but a continuation of a pattern I had started months ago.
He showed me when I thought I was renewed back then, I wasn't. That started compounding my problems. God showed me when I thought I was letting Him have control, I really wasn't. He was convicting me of giving Him praise when really I hadn't let him do it... I convinced myself He had, but I didn't let Him. I now know the difference. This time, it is God's doing and not my own.
Finally, it was shown to me I am His child. He never left me, just as His word promises. I thank God and give Him all the praise and glory ... for when He starts a work in someone, He won't stop until it is finished.
I thank you all now for your thoughts and prayers and everything. I love you all.. and I really mean that. I hear you all now. I am Sweetly Broken.
I received this yesterday morning (6/22) via email - a daily encouraging word I subscribe to: Every word of God proves true. He is a shield to all who come to him for protection. ~ Proverbs 30:5, NLT
And this one received this morning (6/23): But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. ~ Jeremiah 17:7, NLT
They just tie-in so neatly to what I experienced this weekend. Let me share that with you.
Well, I was spinning out of control by late Friday night. I was confused and lost and even scared .. on the inside. I have a propensity to keep things inside and not show how bad it is on the outside. However, this time my wife was not buying it. She knew something was wrong and bothering me and she persisted in finding out what. I didn't want to cause her grief so I was only giving bits and pieces. Well, then Saturday she came on here and read my blog.
So then the talking begins .. the real talking about my feelings and fears. She is remarkable and I'm blessed to have her in my life. She listened and spoke and we prayed. Then she enlisted the help of my family. Basically, everyone -- mom, brothers, sister and in-laws came when they heard I was hurting. Up to this point I remained stubborn. I felt unworthy of the attention. I felt they were seeing me "hamming it up" so to speak. I was supremely uncomfortable being the center of their attention.
So there was arguing and shouting and confrontation. And there was sharing. And they were echoing what you guys had told me already. There were tears as well. Of course, my mother and one brother are deacons at our church and got Pastor involved. He came as well, later. So by Saturday evening, around supper time, God finally got through to this stubborn man.
The walls I had built up came down. I broke down. I heard God telling me it was okay. God showed me I had been trying to do it on my own. God showed me why that can't work. He showed me that this wasn't a new crisis, but a continuation of a pattern I had started months ago.
He showed me when I thought I was renewed back then, I wasn't. That started compounding my problems. God showed me when I thought I was letting Him have control, I really wasn't. He was convicting me of giving Him praise when really I hadn't let him do it... I convinced myself He had, but I didn't let Him. I now know the difference. This time, it is God's doing and not my own.
Finally, it was shown to me I am His child. He never left me, just as His word promises. I thank God and give Him all the praise and glory ... for when He starts a work in someone, He won't stop until it is finished.
I thank you all now for your thoughts and prayers and everything. I love you all.. and I really mean that. I hear you all now. I am Sweetly Broken.
Total Comments 9
Comments
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Mark, I love you, we all love you and are rejoicing for you and praising God first and praising Him for the wisdom of your beautiful wife and family..Posted 06-22-2008 at 08:49 PM by Miss Blue
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I am so happy it sounds like you are getting a much needed breakthrough! So often we need people in our lives to help us rather than trying to battle it out alone. Prayers for your continued healing and deliverance from any & all bondages! Hugs~~
kaykayPosted 06-22-2008 at 10:34 PM by kaykay
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Forever and always take gentle care of that child of god who those who love you know you to be. --Even the "atheist" June. Because in you, we hear the music of that child...Posted 06-23-2008 at 03:00 AM by june 7th
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Mark, I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. Communication between and husband and wife, IMHO, is primary to a good marriage. You should not hide your hurt from her. She is your support. I am thankful for the intervention. It sounds like you have a wonderful and loving family. Rest in God. He will take care of you. <><Posted 06-23-2008 at 06:18 AM by weatherologist
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Hey Mark, you know I love you too. You're so right, God said He would never leave us and never does. Remember Joshua 1:9 "I command you be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go".
ILNCPosted 06-23-2008 at 08:39 AM by I LOVE NORTH CAROLINA
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So glad to hear this, mams! I knew the Lord could do it, and He did!Posted 06-23-2008 at 11:52 AM by cg81
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This is awesome Mark!
And I love "Sweetly Broken" it was my title for some time here!
Love ya brother.
God bless!Posted 07-08-2008 at 08:25 AM by Alpha8207
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