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Old 02-25-2013, 01:57 PM
 
Location: On the Edge of the Fringe
4,880 posts, read 3,971,136 times
Reputation: 4131

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I have encountered that farewell with a number of my african-american clients, mostly females. Mostly older as well.
I am not offended by it. THey are giving me a heartfelt thank you for my time and help, and I am appreciative and thankful for their business and their use of our agency to help meet their psycho-social needs.
No I am not offended at all, they are just trying to be polite.

What does offend me is the religious clients who ask about my religion with the intent of arguing when I do not tell them what they want to hear. There is an intent of something good in saying "Have a Blessed Day", and it is not meant as something judgemental or limited to any one faith.

I think it is a nice greeting. Better than saying "Go on -just get on out of here"
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Old 02-25-2013, 03:25 PM
 
Location: Northeastern US
14,190 posts, read 9,075,797 times
Reputation: 6079
You are probably over-reacting, however, there are so many Realtors available to hire I suggest you go with your gut. Recently we hired a Realtor contrary to our gut instinct ... we just didn't connect with him, he seemed closed off, a bit "off" in some way we couldn't put our finger on. But we hired him out of a field of three candidates because he was with a much bigger firm and we rationalized he'd have more marketing resources at this disposal.

In the end we fired him after less than 3 months because he was a lousy communicator, lazy, and disengaged. We replaced him with one of the other guys, the one we felt the most affinity for and it's the difference between night and day.

Whether it's religion or not, your gut is probably trying to tell you something.

Besides, I've found that business people who wear their religion on their shirt sleeves frequently are substandard in some way. I've tried not to generalize about it but it's a red flag for me.
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Old 02-25-2013, 04:45 PM
 
468 posts, read 520,748 times
Reputation: 485
Quote:
Originally Posted by mordant View Post
You are probably over-reacting, however, there are so many Realtors available to hire I suggest you go with your gut. Recently we hired a Realtor contrary to our gut instinct ... we just didn't connect with him, he seemed closed off, a bit "off" in some way we couldn't put our finger on. But we hired him out of a field of three candidates because he was with a much bigger firm and we rationalized he'd have more marketing resources at this disposal.

In the end we fired him after less than 3 months because he was a lousy communicator, lazy, and disengaged. We replaced him with one of the other guys, the one we felt the most affinity for and it's the difference between night and day.

Whether it's religion or not, your gut is probably trying to tell you something.

Besides, I've found that business people who wear their religion on their shirt sleeves frequently are substandard in some way. I've tried not to generalize about it but it's a red flag for me.

Thank you. This is how I'm feeling.
Trying to juggle to stigma of "over-reacting" but still listening to my "gut instinct".
Great advice, and I appreciate it.
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Old 02-25-2013, 05:18 PM
 
Location: Sitting beside Walden Pond
4,609 posts, read 4,111,643 times
Reputation: 1399
Quote:
Originally Posted by mollybygolly View Post
Am I over reacting?
I am one more Atheist who thinks you are overreacting.

The realtor was just being nice to you and you should accept his comment graciously.
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:06 PM
 
93 posts, read 169,682 times
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From the Mirriam-Webster Dictionary:

"Definition of BLESSED

1
a : held in reverence : venerated <the blessed saints>
b : honored in worship : hallowed <the blessed Trinity>
c : beatific <a blessed visitation>
2
: of or enjoying happiness; specifically : enjoying the bliss of heaven —used as a title for a beatified person
3
: bringing pleasure, contentment, or good fortune
4
—used as an intensive <never had one blessed minute of instruction — Charles Scribner Jr.>"



Many people of goodwill use blessed in keeping with points #2 and 3. What is it that you have a problem with? I'd suggest being more receptive to being a peace-maker and a peace-keeper. Then you might have less attachment to some limited perspective and enjoy being a blessing yourself!
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:15 PM
 
Location: Sierra Nevada Land, CA
8,387 posts, read 9,131,891 times
Reputation: 13025
Quote:
Originally Posted by mollybygolly View Post
I recently contacted a realtor in another state to assist my husband and I with our house hunt.
When our initial phone call ended he says: "Have a blessed day!"
Today I recieved an email and he ended it with "God Bless".
I consider myself to be extremely tolerant of an individuals religious beliefs, but I found this oddly offensive.
This realtor has good reviews and no obvious mention of strong religious aspects as far as his business goes.
I don't want to be unreasonably judgemental as far as my extreme dislike of having "God" shoved down my throat and my general distrust of organized religion in general. Many Christians are good, hardworking people that I'm friendly with (even if I don't share their beliefs).
However......I seem to have a problem with someone (especially in a business situation) automatically assuming that I care to be "blessed" by them.
I don't.
There are many other just as reputable realtors that I can contact, but I don't necessarily feel "right" about 'disqualifying' this one simply because he is (in my opinion) "flaunting" his religion.
Any thoughts?
Am I over reacting?
This is the stuff of intolerance.

In your perfect world-it sounds like-you would not allow any religious expression. To be blessed means to have happy and positive things come your way. And you felt offended??? Why, cuz a belief in a god might be invovled?

So the next time you shake your head at some fundie saying he or she is offended, take some time to look in a mirror.

And yes, I am being harsh...

...for a good reason.

Let's make this a better world, one person at a time. Respect and tolerance begets respect and tolerance.
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Old 02-25-2013, 07:10 PM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
5,322 posts, read 8,356,253 times
Reputation: 8665
I don't let it bother me. I assume they mean one of the synonyms: blissful or happy. Blessings of the Buddha on you, as well!
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Old 02-26-2013, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Somewhere out there.
6,857 posts, read 3,781,164 times
Reputation: 4592
Quote:
Originally Posted by mollybygolly View Post
I recently contacted a realtor in another state to assist my husband and I with our house hunt.
When our initial phone call ended he says: "Have a blessed day!"
Today I recieved an email and he ended it with "God Bless".
I consider myself to be extremely tolerant of an individuals religious beliefs, but I found this oddly offensive.
This realtor has good reviews and no obvious mention of strong religious aspects as far as his business goes.
I don't want to be unreasonably judgemental as far as my extreme dislike of having "God" shoved down my throat and my general distrust of organized religion in general. Many Christians are good, hardworking people that I'm friendly with (even if I don't share their beliefs).
However......I seem to have a problem with someone (especially in a business situation) automatically assuming that I care to be "blessed" by them.
I don't.
There are many other just as reputable realtors that I can contact, but I don't necessarily feel "right" about 'disqualifying' this one simply because he is (in my opinion) "flaunting" his religion.
Any thoughts?
Am I over reacting?
I am an atheist and I still use 'bless' occasionally myself. I tend to use it in situations where little kids are involved- for example coming home from vacation this weekend, my 7 year old daughter said "I can't wait to get home to give my teddies a cuddle" I turned to my husband and said "Oh bless her". It could be because I'm English and its just an expression we use where an American might say "how cute", but 'bless' to me somehow also conveys a sort of childhood innocence, while at the same time wishing her good thoughts, that just saying 'how cute' doesn't seem to cover.. When I say it I'm not thinking of god in any way, but using it as an expression. In a similar way, I still often say "oh my god", "bloody hell" or "JESUS!" to express shock, for example if have just seen something shocking on the news.
I have an Irish friend who has lived in California for 18 years but is still so Irish in her expression you'd think she'd just arrived. She often says things like "Mary Mother of God" in a really amusing way to express astonishment at the most trivial of matters.

I do think your realtor does have god in mind when she uses 'bless'. Nevertheless, it is still an expression of goodwill on the realtors behalf and certainly not meaning any harm or offence.

Here's where I think it would be going a bit far though. When we were buying a house, the bank sent this guy along to my house with all the closing documents for signature. The guy brought a massive bible with him and placed it on the table beside him. After he left my realtor and everyone else present thought this was a really goofy thing to do. I think because it was so out of the ordinary it made everyone else feel uncomfortable - like he had turned up to perform an exorcism on the house or something!

I think as Mordant says, go with your gut instinct. The realtor is probably just trying to be nice and personally I wouldn't worry about it, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable then maybe think twice if you are going to have to use this realtor for maybe many months.
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Old 02-26-2013, 09:13 AM
 
468 posts, read 520,748 times
Reputation: 485
In retrospect, I made a mistake in the title of this thread.
And I probably posted it in the wrong area.
It really isn't a religious issue, it's a realtor issue.
I've been "blessed" many times by many people, and never took offense.
I've even "blessed" people myself when the situation called for it.
I was trying to rationalize my "gut feeling" that this realtor wasn't a good "fit" for me, and I latched onto the "God Bless" as an excuse, rather than just trusting my instincts.
I sincerely appreciate all the responses.
It has certainly helped me become more self-aware.
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Old 02-26-2013, 09:18 AM
 
Location: Space Coast
1,988 posts, read 4,630,440 times
Reputation: 2749
Was this in a southern state? People around here say pretty much interchangeably and with the same intent as 'have a nice day'. *shrug*
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