Interracial dating for a black woman in ATL? (vs, place)

[aries4118]

Originally Posted by futureATLien

I love this article. I am a black woman that has never had an issue with dating outside my race and I do agree that it is easier to relate to a guy if you have the same creditentials versus a black guy that's in his 20s that isn't on the same level. I could care less about what my kids look like or explaining myself to a guy. I mean I love to learn abe
out other cultures. I just cant understand what the hang up is here.

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by futureATLien

I love this article. I am a black woman that has never had an issue with dating outside my race and I do agree that it is easier to relate to a guy if you have the same creditentials versus a black guy that's in his 20s that isn't on the same level. I could care less about what my kids look like or explaining myself to a guy. I mean I love to learn abe
out other cultures. I just cant understand what the hang up is here.

I'm sure there are a lot of white guys out there like myself who would have jumped at the chance to date outside of our race if we had the chance, and I did a few times, but opportunities were somewhat limited for me in the suburban Twin Cities. And now my wife would have to have a say.

[Queentruth]

[FONT=Times New Roman]

Originally Posted by Windu

The number of interracial relationships remains miniscule, and any person's belief that they don't have a mate because those few people dated a different race is just too stupid to comprehend. I can't imagine a more self-centered worldview -- "if that guy hadn't chosen the white/black/asian girl, he would've chosen me."

[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]Windu, I would be really surprised if you are an African American woman. It's possible, but not likely. You over-simplify the issue with your thought that our issue with interracial dating has everything to do with the other woman. For me and many other African American women, the effect of the absence of African American men in our families, communities and households, is what is most important. [/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]The reality is that children who grow up in single parent households are more likely to suffer more of the societal ills than those who grow up in two parent households. The reality is that our communities are suffering from the absence of African American men. According to 2009 U.S. Census Bureau data, over 24 million children live apart from their biological fathers. That is 1 out of every 3 (33%) children in America. Nearly 2 in 3 (64%) African American children live in father-absent homes. One in three (34%) Hispanic children, and 1 in 4 (25%) white children live in father-absent homes. In 1960, when there hardly any interracial relationships, only 11% of children lived in father-absent homes. [/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]We need our African American men to head our families. The reality is that our culture has never been self-centered and that is why we suffer so deeply. The reality is that when an African American man chooses to marry outside of his race, he is the one that makes the selfish decision. His decision doesn’t just touch his life; it touches a community of African American children who need him. Not only that, it touches society as a whole. These children grow up to be gang members, drug users and dealers, teenaged mothers, and repeat criminal offenders. [/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]My father, God rest his soul, was a “father” to a whole block of African American children, even though I am his only biological child. He helped raise many black men and when he left the community the community changed drastically. [/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]If you want to believe that it is just about the need for a man, you go right ahead. But don’t loose the fact that every woman wants to be loved by a man who shares a common ground and understands her through and through. A man that can help raise a strong child equipped to deal with what society brings. You go to any school in an impoverished community and see what difference the presence of an African American man makes. You ask the children there who they have the most respect for out of all of their teachers and most often it is the brother in the midst. [/FONT]

[northwinds]

@QueenTruth who wrote: "We need our African American men to head our families. The reality is that our culture has never been self-centered and that is why we suffer so deeply. The reality is that when an African American man chooses to marry outside of his race, he is the one that makes the selfish decision. His decision doesn’t just touch his life; it touches a community of African American children who need him. Not only that, it touches society as a whole."

Welcome to ACDF....that being said, you have written one of the most racist rants I have seen in quite some time here on this forum. A black man marrying "outside of his race' is "selfish".....geez, girl...get over yourself, go to the health club, buy some new clothes and get on with your life.

[arjay57]

Originally Posted by aries4118

An Interracial Fix for Black Marriage - WSJ.com

Sounds like more black men need to get on the stick if they are going to hang in there with black women.

[ATL_II_DMV]

Originally Posted by futureATLien

I love this article. I am a black woman that has never had an issue with dating outside my race and I do agree that it is easier to relate to a guy if you have the same creditentials versus a black guy that's in his 20s that isn't on the same level. I could care less about what my kids look like or explaining myself to a guy. I mean I love to learn abe
out other cultures. I just cant understand what the hang up is here.

I don't see why it has to be in the context of "vs a black guy in his 20's that isn't on the same level"

The average male in his mid 20's in the US (whether he's white, black, asian, or hispanic) doesn't have outstanding credentials.

True, African Amercian males (on average) aren't as successful as their white counterparts, but there are plenty of young African American males that are successful and financially stable.

The problem that I see is many African American females searching in the wrong areas.

For example, I was in Phoenix, AZ the other week and approached several females (in a respectful manner) and to no avail.

I saw these same African American females giving attention to the guys who had the "thug" appearance. The guys with the fake-looking chains, t-shirts, and (not to judge a book by it's cover) didn't appear to have much going for themselves.

The same females are probably the ones complaining about there not being enough decent black males in the world when they find out that the guy is good for nothing and has a few children by different mothers.

Meanwhile they just passed up someone with a degree, multiple properties, and has been making over six figures since 24.

[RoslynHolcomb]

The same females are...

Excuse me, but the word female is an adjective, not a noun. So are we talking about female chickens, hamsters, ducks? Are you talking about human WOMEN? Nothing irks me worse than a man who refers to adult women as females. Unless you're a sociology professor please use the proper terminology: WOMEN.

For example, I was in Phoenix, AZ the other week and approached several females (in a respectful manner) and to no avail.

Hmmm, maybe they don't like men who refer to women as FEMALES. The term denotes a level of depersonalization and animosity toward women that most women find off-putting. It's very possible that those women picked up on that hostility in your manner, I certainly read it in your post.

As for the rest of your commentary, seriously? Are you really going with that, when even black men have acknowledged that the percentage of successful black men is woefully low? Do you know that those black women you refer to were successful college-educated black women? After all, water tends to seek its own level. The black women I know aren't interested in hanging out with a bunch of thugs and assorted low-lifes. In all likelihood the black women who are attracted to that are on the same level as those men. Let's not compare apples to oranges.

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by RoslynHolcomb

Excuse me, but the word female is an adjective, not a noun. So are we talking about female chickens, hamsters, ducks? Are you talking about human WOMEN? Nothing irks me worse than a man who refers to adult women as females. Unless you're a sociology professor please use the proper terminology: WOMEN.

While I agree that the usage isn't always considered nice when applied to humans, except perhaps in biology class, the word "female" appears to be formally defined as both an adjective and a noun on both sides of the pond:

female n - definition in American English Dictionary - Cambridge Dictionary Online
female noun - definition in British English Dictionary & Thesaurus - Cambridge Dictionary Online

Female - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Definitions of female - OneLook Dictionary Search

I agree that the usage is in poor taste, but it's not incorrect. Just inappropriate.

[RoslynHolcomb]

It is used as a noun in the context of biology or sociology when referring to humans, not in general speech. (Which is why I made made the caveat to sociology professors.) When it is done outside a biology lab it is essentially used as a means to degrade or depersonalize such as when one is referring to crime suspects. How often do you hear someone say in casual conversation, "You see those males over there?" No, they say guys, or men or boys if they are of an appropriate age. However, for reasons I can't begin to fathom it has become commonplace to refer to women as "females" in a degrading and derogatory manner.

[hashford]

you have whoever makes you the happiest. time is too short to worry about stupid things like color! unless hes polka dot purple and yellow..might be harder to deal with.