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Old 11-10-2009, 08:00 AM
 
Location: Austin TX
1,590 posts, read 4,575,830 times
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Sorry to hear that, where we live it is not like that. luck?

I say get active, if your neighbors are duds...try to meet someone who lives further away.
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Old 11-10-2009, 08:07 AM
 
31 posts, read 61,993 times
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"many people these days do not seem to have any sort of social skills period"

I think your right that is exactly what it is.
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Old 11-10-2009, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
2,101 posts, read 4,527,489 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harrison512 View Post
No one at work likes to socialize - lunch, drinks after work - nope, they all race up to Round Rock or Cedar Park to get back to their families. I keep inviting my co-workers and their families to come over for a weekend brunch or lunch, but no one has ever accepted my invite.

As a single divorced man, I fill my non-work times with volunteer work. I've volunteered with the SPCA, Literary Austin, the local school. And again, no one at these groups wants to socialize.
First of all, I can relate to your frustration with socializing. I'm young (28) but have, at various points since I graduated college, had similar difficulties finding people to hang out with. Now, I have just a few suggestions for you:

From what you said above (the part I quoted), it sounds like most of the people you're trying to socialize with have kids. If so, that could be a big part of your problem. Try hanging out with people who don't have kids. They tend to have a lot more free time and are more likely to want to do stuff with you after work and/or on weekends. Get out of the "family-friendly" areas of town (Northwest Austin especially) and spend some time in the "cooler" parts of town (Downtown and Central Austin) where people do activities that don't revolve around children and family.

Second, look online and join some new activity groups. In February this year, I responded to a Craig's List ad for a guy who was looking to start a board game group. Nine months later, we've got a group of 7 people that meet 1 - 2 times a month for games, and lately, we've been doing a lot of other activities together.

Good luck! Let us know how things progress.
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Old 11-10-2009, 09:51 AM
 
Location: New England
1,000 posts, read 1,806,067 times
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Did you make new friends in LA easily? Or where your friends old friends you new forever? It has hard to make new friends. Get involved in hobbies, mine is Tennis, and I have met many people up here in CT (I am originally from TX, and actually moved from Austin to LA back in 1996, where I lived for 5.5 years). As a single divorced guy, I am guessing most of your peers are family people, and it may be hard for the family types to do things that are interesting to a single type like yourself.

I have made friends in every town in very state I have lived in (TX, CA, NV, CT), and I am not very outgoing, but it does take effort. Goodluck.
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Old 11-10-2009, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Austin
2,522 posts, read 6,036,816 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by orngkat View Post
I am sorry you are having this experience but it does not surprise me. It certainly is not what I have known living in the central area or growing up in Texas period. It was that way however when we lived out in the boonies of Oak Hill and Brushy Creek in Round Rock a decade or so ago. People who had moved here from all parts would come home from work and disappear into their houses. Could it be that some people have no sense of community other than what goes on in their own homes? I have thought (this is a generalization of course) that many people these days do not seem to have any sort of social skills period.
Ever have someone tell you a movie was great, and you were let down after seeing it? Whereas if you just happened to catch it without knowing anything about it, you might have enjoyed it more? I think this is the main reason people feel this way about Austin....Obviously not everyone, but more than you might think. I did as well, and I'm not any different than anyone else.

You can't hype an area as incredibly friendly without blowback as people have high expectations, and just see a slightly more friendly version of a sunbelt city. Austin has exactly the same transient feel in the newer areas, which are a large % of the city, doubling as it has the last 20 years, as greater Phoenix, Tampa, Orlando, or greater las vegas....Austin's version is simply a more intelligent, and slightly more friendly version of the same.

Established cities, that have already reached equilibrium population-wise, are far more equipped to deal with newcomers, as things have settled, and neighborhoods/folkways are more established.....I found it hard to even find a neighborhood bar to get a feel for the locals in the area. Honestly, in a large part of the city there ARE no neighborhood bars whatsoever. And much that IS there seems to cater to college kids and under 24-year-olds.

Even the so called classic clubs, like Continental Club, were impossible to meet folks. I noticed that the people there and in most places were in tight little social cliques/groups, call it a wall you are not going to bridge, and I did not see many meet-ups or social mixing. And many clubs were LA cool type places, where you couldn't even get a recognition from a hello, especially the cooler places just off 6th st. and the near Congress genereal area.

All I was looking for was a place where either new people like me, or longer term regular locals like me, from say 29-40, could meet, and all I saw was uber cool places and college kids hangouts, with a smattering of Warehouse places like Speakeasy that seemed to be more of the same, with uber cool rooftop bars, composed more yet more college kids and people trying oh so hard to be hip. Speakeasy even had a bed on the rooftop patio bar, with a couple laying in it like John and Yoko. I commented on the John and Yoko thing, and you would think I just spoke to someone retarded. No response, and I don't even think they had an inkling of the peace protest lennon made in Amsterdam in '69.....

That being said, Austin seems like a just fine place for families, per the many comments of people relocating from other areas looking for affordable housing that have been squeezed out of their local markets like california and such. The entrepreneurial bent seems to be indeed alive and well from what I see and hear as well..........

I still think that Austin lacks much in the way of jogging paths and bike trails as well. Just a sad little section just off town lake, and nothing at all in a large area of the city, including the entire NW side....I had to jog in the subdivisions the first year I lived here in NW Austin.

All in all, a very very overrated city and metro, with an average central bohemian area not any more or less eclectic than any other large metros central area. Houston and Dallas themselves have far more arty areas, museums, and bohemian areas. And frankly, even San Antonio has a decent club/music scene, completely unhyped, with several large venues.

They should come out with a book called "The Selling of Austin"....would make a great business/marketing book......
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Old 11-10-2009, 10:33 AM
 
16,087 posts, read 41,162,235 times
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We hear the same kind of stuff on the Dallas board. People are steered to places like Frisco, which is full of transplants from other places, then they expect Texas "Friendliness". I am from East Dallas, which I believe is the friendliest place on earth. But no, the Realtors who live up in the Northern Tundra would have you believe that it's dangerous, rundown, bad schools...etc etc.

Saw a big pickup today with a sticker on the back window "HOWDY damn it!"
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Old 11-10-2009, 10:44 AM
 
200 posts, read 979,581 times
Reputation: 190
We've had good luck meeting people on this site Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup.com You can search my interests and location
A lot of those groups have meets ups, pot locks, events, etc...

For example, we are in a camping group that tries to do one camping trip a month, my girlfriend is in a mommy group who go out for drinks at least once a week, there's a pit bull group because we're big advocates of the breed, etc...
And you know these people want to meet people because they're on the site too.

Good Luck!
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Old 11-10-2009, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Austin
2,522 posts, read 6,036,816 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lakewooder View Post
We hear the same kind of stuff on the Dallas board. People are steered to places like Frisco, which is full of transplants from other places, then they expect Texas "Friendliness". I am from East Dallas, which I believe is the friendliest place on earth. But no, the Realtors who live up in the Northern Tundra would have you believe that it's dangerous, rundown, bad schools...etc etc.

Saw a big pickup today with a sticker on the back window "HOWDY damn it!"
I just learned something pretty heavy just on this post...namely, that the Texas ambience will change permanently per the huge influx of new people.

Sounds like Austin was FAR more down home before the influx/rush in the last 15 or so years. Same with the other metros. San Antonio and the smaller metros might be the least changed, but who knows how long that will last as well?

Is this a bad thing? Not really. I'm not putting negative connotations on this. I'm just saying that if you double any cities population, it will never be the same again, and will markedly change. Also, there is no way possible to squeeze so many new people so fast, on so few roads, so few established areas that just have big box, H-E-B, and strip malls for ambience, and expect a friendly, relaxed atmosphere.

It's all about transiency and crowding.....even some areas that you would think of as somewhat unfriendly, like Key West, are far more friendly than Austin just because they are small and people don't feel suffocated by their fellow man. I love KW, but, till I moved to Austin, thought it was a bit insular for my taste to live in, but it actually is easier to talk to locals there than here, and that's not saying much.

Austin needs to slow down growth and consolidate the growth it has before it takes on the normal friendly nature of established neighborhoods in say Boston, Chicago, Denver, SF, and even much of older DFW and Houston. Give it 10 years, and you might find a far friendlier city...
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Old 11-10-2009, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Austin TX
11,027 posts, read 6,507,044 times
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Maybe my experience has been the exception to the norm. I've lived in Texas just under two years and have made some great friends with people since moving here. We even went to Cozumel with our next-door neighbors this summer. Every weekend brings a bbq, a Longhorns football tv party, trips out to local restaurants, etc. with our neighbors - it's been serendipitous. I have been truly blown away by the friendliness and camaraderie in my tiny little rural SW neighborhood.

Check Craigslist - they have tons of activities and groups you can participate in. Don't get discouraged, keep trying! Once you meet someone you hit it off with, usually once introduced to their social group you'll find yourself with a lot of new friends!
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Old 11-10-2009, 11:08 AM
 
Location: Austin
2,522 posts, read 6,036,816 times
Reputation: 707
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nor Cal Wahine View Post
Maybe my experience has been the exception to the norm. I've lived in Texas just under two years and have made some great friends with people since moving here. We even went to Cozumel with our next-door neighbors this summer. Every weekend brings a bbq, a Longhorns football tv party, trips out to local restaurants, etc. with our neighbors - it's been serendipitous. I have been truly blown away by the friendliness and camaraderie in my tiny little rural SW neighborhood.

Check Craigslist - they have tons of activities and groups you can participate in. Don't get discouraged, keep trying! Once you meet someone you hit it off with, usually once introduced to their social group you'll find yourself with a lot of new friends!
Ironically, you might have better luck if you are relocating with a family in a subdivision, as you then have kids, sig others, and such to generate activity. If you are socializing with a wife and kids, meeting other couples and such, and your kids are hanging with their kids, you have a ready-made ad hoc social group. My sister had the same experience, as I mentioned. She felt out of her local loop in her subdivision, felt down enough to move away to the singles section of the metro she lived in with her husband, and lo and behold, she had a few kids and hasn't been happier. All of her friends are young mothers, and she is extremely active....so yes, it is much easier with a family to fit into a new area.....

Someone single will struggle far harder, and spend more time alone, which exacerbates the problem. At least a new couple have each other/kids to be with. I'm hyper-outgoing, so I force social situations, but I can see how people that are average or shy can have a horrific time meeting people, especially in a transient city lacking traditional ways and neighborhood places to connect...

Just keep on plugging, fellow poster.....
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