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I've got one. Actually I've got a few. I'll tell you the latest. It was between DH and me yesterday morning. Let me preface with saying that both of us are a little deaf and more than a little forgetful (but still loveable.)
Me, coming downstairs from bed: Oh, I guess I overslept this morning.
DH: Yeah, I knew that you were going to do that.
Me: How did you know that?
DH: Because you said last night that you were going to sleep in this morning.
Me: I did?
DH: Yeah.
Long pause.
Me: Well, that explains that.
DH: Explains what?
Hahahahahahahhahha!
I can't think of anything right off the bat between my husband and me but I know that we have totally inane conversations at times.
OK like this - I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't point something out when we're driving somewhere. I have lived in this town for decades - he has lived here for two years. (I mean I lived here for about fifteen years prior to meeting him, then moved to "his" town for ten years, and now we have moved to "my" town.) So I know where everything, and I do mean everything, is. He, meanwhile, has the unsettling habit of getting in the truck and sort of driving randomly. Honestly, sometimes I have no idea where he's going and I'm not sure he has any idea where he's going.
So I might say, "Shouldn't we be in the right hand lane?" and he'll say, "Do you want to drive? Why are you assuming that I am not going to get in the right hand lane? I know I need to get in the right hand lane." And then he will do so.
So I think to myself, "I just won't say anything next time since he gets so irate about it and thinks I'm being bossy." (Imagine that! LOL) So next time I don't say anything, while sitting there wondering where we are going since we've passed the turnoff. And he'll say, "Hey, we just passed the turn! You know this town better than me - why didn't you say something?"
Unfortunately, I am not sure I can chalk this up to old age because he's been doing that ever since we met in our forties.
An older friend was telling about when he got power of attorney of his dad's affairs. The judge and attorney went with him to the nursing home where his dad was to make sure he was "of sound mind" to make the decision. The judge asked him a couple times, "Mr. Jones, who is the President of the United States?" After he didn't answer my friend said,"Dad, he wants to know if you know who the President is." All of a sudden Mr. Jones looked around and said,"I don't know who it is, but he's got to be a hell of a lot better than the one we have in there now!" The judge, a family friend, said,"Yep, that's him!" and signed the paperwork.
I know it's off the subject but on the side topic of giving restaurant food to dogs, I've done this to all my dogs and it did kill them. One died after 14 years of the food and the other after 11.
Just don't feed them fajita butter saucey stuff!
Actually with our dogs, I guess it was a 50/50 shot since it didn't bother the other dog one iota. But I will never feed either of them anything that rich again!
Mea culpa.
We call our rescued mutt dog our "thousand dollar dog" now.
As the brilliant Maya Angelou said “I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.”
That is not always true. I miss my grandmother and occasionally my dad, but not my mother.
As the brilliant Maya Angelou said “I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.”
And she was dead wrong, so to speak...as are most generalizations. Think of child-molesting parents, and her sentimentalism disappears.
Get the reality, accept it, let it go if it doesn't happen to apply to you.
A story about my Summer Vacation. Heading to the shore, where we've been every. Summer. for. 15. years.
Husband (driving): Is this where I go left?
Wife: Right.
Husband: Then I'm in the wrong lane!
Wife: No, you're not.
Husband: You said to go right!
Wife: No, I didn't. I said left was right!
This conversation was between two 40ish year olds. My 80 year old self was sitting quietly in the back seat, contemplating whether or not to take my own car next year.
Maybe you guys ought to be happy you can still spend time with your brothers, uncles, sisters or parents. I spend time with my uncle. 84, slow as molasses and I pay for everything when I go see him. He was telling me one of his favorite players was Mickey Mantle cause he got to see him play. Stop complaining. Because when they die, everyone always says I wish I could spend more time with them, I had so many questions I never got to ask. Enjoy the time you got with them.
So theire Dow and you get to buy them lunch. Your parents didn't seem to mind wiping your butts and taking care of you your whole young life
Beautiful. What I'd give to have a day with my Mom or GMa. You are blessed! Such wonderful memories you will have to relive one day. Keep that wonderful sense of humor!
Maybe you guys ought to be happy you can still spend time with your brothers, uncles, sisters or parents. I spend time with my uncle. 84, slow as molasses and I pay for everything when I go see him. He was telling me one of his favorite players was Mickey Mantle cause he got to see him play. Stop complaining. Because when they die, everyone always says I wish I could spend more time with them, I had so many questions I never got to ask. Enjoy the time you got with them.
So theire Dow and you get to buy them lunch. Your parents didn't seem to mind wiping your butts and taking care of you your whole young life
I'm pretty sure my mother was irritated by me numerous times when I was a baby and a kid growing up. And I'm sure she vented about it to other folks occasionally.
And I hope when she did, they laughed with her, or commiserated with her, rather than giving her a lecture about being grateful.
Just keepin' it real.
Just because we occasionally get frustrated, or bemused, or confused, or irritated doesn't mean that we don't appreciate and deeply love the same people in our lives who occasionally make us feel that way.
Get back with me when you can enjoy rushing your dad to the ER at 11 pm because of a pulmonary embolism, or when you can enjoy wiping your mother's behind and helping her to and from the toilet when she breaks her hip. Let me know how much fun you're having when you get commissioned to try to convince your mother that she smells bad and therefore should take a shower, or when you have to drive back up to the assisted living facility at 9 pm after you've already been up there for hours earlier, because your mother in law won't take the meds she needs to calm down and go to sleep - and then she spits them in your face. Let me know how happy you feel right at that moment, and how blissful every minute of your relationship has been with that ornery, angry, sick, irrational and sometimes violent person.
Or you could come here and vent, because most people in this section of this forum are caretakers themselves, and aren't quick to pass judgment. Thank goodness for that.
Beautiful. What I'd give to have a day with my Mom or GMa. You are blessed! Such wonderful memories you will have to relive one day. Keep that wonderful sense of humor!
This is just another stage of a very full life, and I'm grateful that my mom's meds have worked pretty well and that she's a lot happier than she used to be, in spite of the dementia. Honestly, I pick my battles with her and encourage my dad to do the same.
For instance, she hasn't been smelling very fresh lately. I don't think she is remembering to bathe regularly. She also tends to wear the same clothes for days in a row. This was really getting under my skin and I was getting more and more irritated with my dad, because she listens to him a lot more eagerly than she listens to me, and every time I'd say something to him about this to try to get him to take charge of some of this, he'd just act surprised. "Really? She doesn't smell good? I hadn't noticed anything." But that's because he DOESN'T notice smells - he has had a marked loss of the sense of smell for most of his life after a particular illness he had in his thirties. And as for her dirty clothes, he just seems oblivious.
I finally reached the conclusion that this isn't going to kill her, and if it doesn't bother the man she lives with, why should I let it bother me? It embarrasses ME, but it doesn't embarrass her. So I can either make a fuss about it, and hurt her feelings, and create a scene - for me - or just let it go. She's happy. She doesn't have to wear deodorant or take a shower every day.
That was a hard thing for me to get my head around, but I think it's where the peace lies.
Another thing that I've noticed about my dad is that he has become really "cheap." Now, to clarify, these two people have plenty of money. There is simply no way they will live long enough to go through all their money, unless they decided to buy a new $60,000 vehicle every year - that might put a dent in it. But otherwise, they're going to be just fine. But now my dad constantly tried so maneuver himself into an advantageous position, preferably where he doesn't have to pay at all, but if he DOES have to pay, it's going to be cheap. Or if we get into a situation where we're going to pay for one meal and then he'll pick up the next meal, he tries to be sure the next meal is cheap and this meal is expensive.
The last time I was with my husband's cousins and their mother, we were at a diner and they both started poking fun at the fact that their mother actually got a drink---something like iced tea or whatever. They said, "Well, of course she isn't just getting water, she isn't the one paying the bill." Apparently, she will only (and always) order something other than water when she's not footing the bill. She also tossed the soup/salad on to her meal for extra that day, something else she wouldn't do if she was paying.
She is also in a similar financial position, though her husband is deceased. She's got the home here, the vacation home, the 35K+ mausoleum already paid for, etc. She still has all of the money she inherited from when her mother died twenty years ago. It's kind of funny and I'm sure I'll be the same way when I'm older. (Though without all of the money!)
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