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I will only be able to give a brief update as it is too painful to move my right shoulder/arm/hand and I'm forced to one finger type with my left hand.
The good news is that I am completely out of my old apartment, am now only an eight minute drive to where Hubby lives, plus my brother loaned me a laptop that he rarely used.
Hubby is so happy that I am closer. I have been able to see him almost everyday for an hour or so since my move.
Bad news is that Hubby is still losing weight. He was already underweight when he went to the new facility (137 pounds with about 150 as his ideal weight) and has lost 13 pounds in his two months there (now 124). Plus he has developed some other disturbing, potentially serious, health issues. Today I spent a couple of hours checking with his case manager and others (by phone) to make sure that I am completely ready for his appointment with his new doctor on Friday.
More bad news is that my rheumatoid arthritis is by far the worse that it has ever, even been in the 13/14 years since it was first diagnosed. Even with the emergency steroids and pain pills it has become more and more difficult to walk, move and drive these past weeks while I was downsizing and moving. After I woke up from an afternoon nap I discovered that the pain when I attempted to walk/stand was excruciating. Luckily, after the move I kept my walker in the bedroom. I am now using it to get to the bathroom and kitchen. Good news is that it has a seat so I can stop and rest when I need to do that. I am calling my rheumatologist first thing in the morning for his advice.
I know that I have shared that I have been worried and upset about finances (especially these past few months) but do not be concerned. I will manage. And, I greatly appreciate the help that was given to me.
Now that Hubby is in a facility, once my health recovers, I plan to attempt to return to work as a substitute teacher or get some other "paying gigs" or something similar. There are plenty of people in far worst financial situations than me. At least I have (very financially successful) siblings that have promised me that I will never have to worry about being homeless or starving to death in a "worst case scenario". Plus, I do have two, smart & capable adult children with the potential to be financially successful in the future. There are many elderly people who do not have loving family as emergency back-ups for their senior years (worst case scenario situations).
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Thank you to everyone who wrote positive, encouraging posts to me over the past few days/weeks.
To the posters who wrote critical, negative posts to me, "Shame on you". How would you feel if people said those same things to you, or your elderly mother or grandmother if they were facing the same difficulties that I have faced?
I am doing the best that I can in very difficult situations. Am I perfect? Have I never made a mistake? Heck, no, I freely admit that. But, unless you are God, I bet that you aren't perfect either and have made mistakes, too.
Update. September 1, 2017
The facility nurse took Hubby to see his new primary care physician and I met them there. While I was very happy with the doctor that Hubby has seen for the last ten or eleven years the 45 to 60 minute one-way drive was just too long to continue seeing her. The new doctor is part of the same system so she has all of his old records. Hubby is also switching to a new GI specialist and, maybe, a new geriatric psychiatrist in our new area.
The new doctor was concerned, but not panicked, about his weight and weight loss. He has been within two pounds for the past few weeks so she, and his facility nurse, believe that he may have stabilized. I was unaware that Hubby has started to do a lot of pacing during the day, and burning loads of calories, since he does not do that around me. The doctor recommended (wrote an order) for them to add "protein powder" to his food to add protein and calories and to add extra high calorie snacks to his diet. She wants to see him in two months and may then refer him to a nutrition specialist if he has not stayed the same or gained weight.
Since I will be seeing Hubby more often I will also be able to give him high calorie snacks or a Boost while he is with me to supplement his meals/snacks/Carnation Instant Breakfast at the facility. I had already been doing that but now I will see him more so I can do it more often. The facility is (finally) scheduling some activities to do with Hubby which will keep him occupied and may decrease his pacing/walking while I am not there.
Well, I discovered a few hours after writing my August 30 post that there is a point that pain becomes more than just excruciating. I experienced the absolute worse pain of my entire life and was forced to call 911 in the middle of the night. The pain was so bad when I tried to move my knee or stand/walk that I would almost pass out. I really thought that I must have broken something or torn something or dislocated something. But, after evaluating me the ER doctor felt that it was just related to my arthritis flare-up, overdoing it while moving and possibly bumping or slightly twisting the knee. It took massive amounts of pain medication just to get the pain under control and they wrapped my knee/leg and put on an ankle to mid-thigh splint to completely immobilize it. Plus sent me home with a week of pain pills. My rheumatologist, on the advice of the ER doctor, put me on two more weeks of steroids (so three weeks in all). To put that into perspective in my 13/14 years of having rheumatoid arthritis I have only had to have emergency steroids for flare-ups two or three times and never for more a few days or a week and I have never had to take additional medication to control the pain for more than a day or two here or there.
Luckily, Hubby's new doctor was only a couple of blocks from my new apartment, and I did not take pain medication today until after I got home, so I was able to drive there.
PS. The steroids and pain medication are also helping my shoulders/arms/hands/fingers but they are still painful.
Last edited by germaine2626; 09-01-2017 at 06:41 PM..
It must have been pretty frightening to experience that much pain! What a horrible ordeal!!! But at least the meds are working for you now thank goodness.
Good news about your hubby's weight stabilization and the new Dr with a fresh approach to it too!
I hope everything settles down and you two enjoy spending more time together. Best to you!
Well, this is some sort of good news. I am very sorry that you'e had that much pain. Wow! I'm glad you got some meds and treatment that seem to be effective. I can't imagine how people pushed through this sort of thing before our current medical advances. Sheeze.
I'm so glad that you are living nearer to your husband.
Germaine, I hope the worst of the pain, illness and frustration you have experienced in the past few months is now permanently better. You have accomplished so much and almost single handedly too. You have managed two people's physical problems, and situated yourself and your DH so that you both can be together more often. I admire your fortitude and resourcefulness.
Terrible pain in the middle of the night is scary.
I am hoping you will have a long period of recovery now. Please be good to yourself.
But if you want to go there, how many of YOU sent Germaine actual MONEY and not "thoughts and prayers"? Or "Sorry I live too far away to help you". I didn't see a single one of her regular empathizers even offer a Go Fund Me or even a PayPal address.
Then as usual, you haven't been reading, just pounding your own chest. Myself and a few others have in fact sent Germaine gifts because we actually care about her and her plight and don't take salacious delight in her predicament.
I have her addresses (including her new one) and so do those that have asked me for it. But I won't be giving it to those that have expressed their ugliness here. She doesn't need your negativity.
In fact, why you are still here at all baffles me, except I guess it makes you feel better to stomp all over someone else. Hope that's working for you.
Oh jeez, that sounds like when my roommate needed her second hip replacement (she has severe rheumatoid arthritis and bad joints). During those weeks, half the time I'd come to the back door and find her collapsed on the back steps in tears and unable to even yell for help. There was no medication that could fully relieve her of that agony. I'm sorry you're dealing with that - it's beyond exhausting and it feels like torture. I also wonder if this new level of pain isn't perhaps some sort of build-up from all the stress and activity you have been dealing with - your spoons are all used up at this point, and your body's letting you know (as if you didn't already). The roomie is currently moving into her own house, and she's worried about a flare-up when it's all done - careful to pace herself.
I think I've shared this on the caregiving board and I hesitate to suggest it here given the financial situation, but when my auntie had metastatic lung cancer and my uncle couldn't get her to eat, I went to the CVS and bought one of almost every kind of shake they had - you know, Ensure and all its cousins in a variety of flavors. They went through every damn one until they found one she liked (I believe it was one of the French vanilla flavors), and that was what she had regularly going forward. This was over a decade ago, and I"m sure the flavors have improved. (My father likes Ensure's dark chocolate. But he's not picky.) But it did slow down her weight loss. But apparently there is a great deal of variety in the flavors. Maybe to avoid blowing a ton of cash on different flavors, you could check out a foodbank that serves seniors or something. I dunno where one would get discounted nutrition shakes or samples :-/
My husband weighed 225 a few years ago. He has lost weight over the past few years but recently while in rehab after a hip replacement he was down to 138. I try to get him to eat as much as he can but I also make him "milkshakes" with ensure powder. Instead of water I use whole milk, and I throw a little ice cream in it too. I give him about 3 a day and at his last doctor's appt he weighed in at 150. The stuff works!
The facility nurse took Hubby to see his new primary care physician and I met them there. While I was very happy with the doctor that Hubby has seen for the last ten or eleven years the 45 to 60 minute one-way drive was just too long to continue seeing her. The new doctor is part of the same system so she has all of his old records. Hubby is also switching to a new GI specialist and, maybe, a new geriatric psychiatrist in our new area.
The new doctor was concerned, but not panicked, about his weight and weight loss. He has been within two pounds for the past few weeks so she, and his facility nurse, believe that he may have stabilized. I was unaware that Hubby has started to do a lot of pacing during the day, and burning loads of calories, since he does not do that around me. The doctor recommended (wrote an order) for them to add "protein powder" to his food to add protein and calories and to add extra high calorie snacks to his diet. She wants to see him in two months and may then refer him to a nutrition specialist if he has not stayed the same or gained weight.
Since I will be seeing Hubby more often I will also be able to give him high calorie snacks or a Boost while he is with me to supplement his meals/snacks/Carnation Instant Breakfast at the facility. I had already been doing that but now I will see him more so I can do it more often. The facility is (finally) scheduling some activities to do with Hubby which will keep him occupied and may decrease his pacing/walking while I am not there.
Well, I discovered a few hours after writing my August 30 post that there is a point that pain becomes more than just excruciating. I experienced the absolute worse pain of my entire life and was forced to call 911 in the middle of the night. The pain was so bad when I tried to move my knee or stand/walk that I would almost pass out. I really thought that I must have broken something or torn something or dislocated something. But, after evaluating me the ER doctor felt that it was just related to my arthritis flare-up, overdoing it while moving and possibly bumping or slightly twisting the knee. It took massive amounts of pain medication just to get the pain under control and they wrapped my knee/leg and put on an ankle to mid-thigh splint to completely immobilize it. Plus sent me home with a week of pain pills. My rheumatologist, on the advice of the ER doctor, put me on two more weeks of steroids (so three weeks in all). To put that into perspective in my 13/14 years of having rheumatoid arthritis I have only had to have emergency steroids for flare-ups two or three times and never for more a few days or a week and I have never had to take additional medication to control the pain for more than a day or two here or there.
Luckily, Hubby's new doctor was only a couple of blocks from my new apartment, and I did not take pain medication today until after I got home, so I was able to drive there.
PS. The steroids and pain medication are also helping my shoulders/arms/hands/fingers but they are still painful.
Update September 4, 2017
I have really been taking it very easy. After sleeping for 8 to 10 hours every night, I am still able to take 4 to 6 hours of naps everyday. I believe that if my body falls asleep I must need the rest. Between naps I mostly am in the recliner with my feet/legs up. The pain in my body/joints is not gone but has greatly subsided.
I am venturing out today. Hubby and I will be going to a relative's house for a cook-out. Some of the other relatives from the area will be there, too.
Thank you everyone for your kind comments and concerns.
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Update September 4, 2017
