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Vent, always waiting until the last minute. May 22, 2017
I know that in the overall scheme of things this is pretty minor but it is still pretty frustrating.
While my son was home helping me after my surgery I asked him to do three things, in addition to the usual help that I needed.
Two involved photographs. While they often take dozens & dozens of photographs of their children during vacations, it is almost impossible to get them to take even one or two photographs of their children with me & hubby or with their aunt or other relatives. I really don't understand it but that is just they way that it has always been. I visited for a week for my grandson's first birthday and only had two photographs of me & grandson from that entire week and both were taken the last night and both were because I absolutely, absolutely insisted. But, they put together a photo album of about two or three dozen photographs taken just of their child during that week (at his party, opening gifts, playing with toys, at the park, etc. etc. all places where I was present and interacting with him but often asked to "move out of the picture".)
I asked dear son to take several photographs of his dad playing with or sitting with his grandchildren when they visited him in memory care so that Hubby will better remember his grandchildren through the recent photographs. I was delighted that they visited him three or four times but discovered today that dear son had not even taken one photograph during any of his visits. I went along today and saw Hubby for the first time in three weeks (yippee). I insisted that dear son take a number of photographs of Hubby & me with the grandkids on my phone. So, while I did get some photographs it turned out that they hadn't had time to help Hubby shave in several days (he can't keep his own razor in memory care) plus he had spilled some of his lunch on his shirt so he looked far, far more disheveled than he typical looks. How hard would it had been for dear son to take one or a couple of photographs another time that they visited when, hopefully, Hubby looked better?
Dear daughter asked for a nice recent photograph of her brother, SIL, niece and nephew for her birthday. Since she knew that they would be visiting for a week she asked that I do this for her. I have asked several times for them to just sit down on the couch together so that I could take a photograph. They kept saying "let's do it tomorrow" or "we will do it later". Well, they have been here one week and I still have not gotten even one photograph of their family. They are leaving early tomorrow morning and I'm worried that I won't get be able to get a photograph in their rush to pack & leave for the airport and my need to get to chemotherapy on time.
Arrggg! DD asked DS to "back up" her very old computer because it is on "it's last legs" and has many photographs and documents that aren't saved elsewhere. While it is true that she should should have done it herself before she left for the Peace Corps, Hubby was in the hospital & then recovering for a week just before she left which threw a big monkey wrench into her plans and she ran out of time to finish everything that needed to be finished. Basically, that was the main thing that she did not finish. My computer crashed a few months ago and I have been using her computer since then.
Anyway,
instead of backing up the computer himself, dear son said he was "too busy" to do that and gave it to a friend of his two weeks ago. His friend said that he would finish it by tonight but did not do it. While it is not a huge deal it means that I will be without a computer for at least another week, maybe more, while dear son's friend has the computer. It is so hard for me to type emails or do almost anything on my phone. I had borrowed dear son's computer when i needed it these past two weeks but of course he is leaving tomorrow so i will be computer less.
I know that these are tiny, tiny little things in the overall picture but it is still annoying and I wanted/needed to vent. Maybe I am just still exhausted from the surgery and worried about facing another round of chemotherapy and it's recovery basically all by myself so I am overreacting. But, darn it, how hard is it to take/or sit for a couple of photographs without waiting until the very, very last minute? Or to back up your sister's computer yourself instead of giving it to another person for several weeks, leaving your mother without a computer?
Quick post. I may not be back for a week (as I won't have a computer) so don't worry.
I think that the photograph thing is so annoying as we see the grandkids so rarely. When you only see them one time a year what is the big deal about taking a few photographs to "save the memories" for the future and to look at between visits?
Last summer they visited for 10 days and we only had one photograph of us with the grandkids.
My complaint is the opposite. I hate having my picture taken. Always have. Even the required publicity photos for the theater make me cringe. And yet, every time I'm with the grandkids, somebody is always ready with a camera to take pictures. When I politely decline, I'm looked at as weird. I guess I am. And to those who think they're getting one over on me with the sneaky shots, you'll pay. When I'm gone, you better get used to seeing my face in your nightmares.
Germaine, I think your vent is legit and I can't imagine the frustration level you experience when you ask for a few minutes to get some photos of the family. So vent away - you're entitled.
Good thoughts coming your way for a continued recovery.
Germaine, best wishes on your recovery. I have been away from this thread for awhile and was saddened and shocked to read what is happening in your life right now.
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,487 posts, read 3,336,915 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shh1313
Here's a thought Germaine, Does your son have Instagram or Facebook?
If he does join one or both then you'll have plenty of pics to view, download etc..
Good luck with chemo and as usual prayers sent for healing..
Regards Stephanie
I think the point is that she wants pictures of her, her husband AND the grandkids together. Not just of her son's family.
We should make a point of having pictures of us with our grands. Someday we won't be around and I wouldn't want our grands to not know what we looked like or maybe think that we never spent time with them.
This last time that the kids visited, there were more of just the grands than with hubby and I with the kids. We love spending time with the grands and do play with them. It just doesn't get documented. We do need that documentation
I agree but they might have one or two. You never know.. I have relatives post pic on Facebook that are old and ones I've never seen. I always wanted pics of the memories and now thanks to digital technology I have that resource.
Quick post. I may not be back for a week (as I won't have a computer) so don't worry.
I think that the photograph thing is so annoying as we see the grandkids so rarely. When you only see them one time a year what is the big deal about taking a few photographs to "save the memories" for the future and to look at between visits?
Last summer they visited for 10 days and we only had one photograph of us with the grandkids.
That's just awful and hurtful. Could you talk with your son about it? Maybe he doesn't realize it's happening?
Quick post. I may not be back for a week (as I won't have a computer) so don't worry.
I think that the photograph thing is so annoying as we see the grandkids so rarely. When you only see them one time a year what is the big deal about taking a few photographs to "save the memories" for the future and to look at between visits?
Last summer they visited for 10 days and we only had one photograph of us with the grandkids.
I am in total agreement with you on this. I understand totally. I don't think you're being unreasonably irked at all.
I'm catching up on threads since being gone for a week, so I also want to tell you congrats on your positive health reports!!!!!!!
Germaine, Hope you are getting stronger by the day.
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