Quote:
Originally Posted by buzzlightyear00
California is off the list because both north and south are expensive and California seems too hostile (crowded and fast pace) for me and my mother.
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In California, she can apply for Medi-CAL as soon as she moves. It will take about a month to get approved.
California is a big state, and not all areas are as expensive or crowded as you think. The inland portions of California are much less expensive than the coastal areas and tick off all of the things you are looking for for yourself.
I moved my mother to California (where I lived) from NY (where she lived) when she needed long term assisted care, and found the services for disabled people to be MUCH better in California than NY. Also, because we have so many elderly people here, there are many options for assisted care and nursing homes.
Some lower cost areas to consider: Temecula, Murietta, Sacramento, Fresno, Redding, Merced, Palm Springs. But there are others.
I know you are short on money, but one of the BEST pieces of advice I got when my mother became ill with a rare neurological disorder was to hire what is known as a Geriatric Care Manager.
I actually used two: one in NY when I was 3000 miles away) and one in California. The person in NY checked in on my mother, reported to me on the care she was receiving, and helped me plan the logistics of moving a severely disabled person 3000 miles away. The Geriatric Care Manager I hired here helped me find appropriate assisted care and nursing facilities for my mother, personally went to the facilities to "vet" that they would be right for my mother's needs, and assisted me with getting her insurance paperwork in order before the move so that there was no interruption in her care or coverage. When I needed to travel, she would also fill in for me, checking in on my mother's care and making sure she got to doctor's appointments, etc.
However, the *most* important thing they both did for
ME was make me feel like I was not alone while dealing with this very stressful situation. Like you, I often felt very overwhelmed by everything that needed to be done to help my mother, and it was incredibly helpful for
MY mental health to the support of someone who understood and was there for ME when I needed help.
It sounds to me like you need someone on your side in this situation too. Strangers on the i nternet can only do so much. You need a REAL person on your mother's support team to help you sort everything out.
Hospitals also have social workers, but in the years I took care of my Mom, I found that their main focus was on getting the patient out of the hospital, not necessarily to the best place.
So, I would strongly encourage you to spend a little money to buy a few hours with a Care Manager both in Texas AND in the state you plan to move your mother too.
It will be a worthwhile investment and perhaps SAVE you money in the long run by getting you the answers you need in a way that strangers on the internet realistically can't provide.
PLEASE GO TO THIS SITE (it is the site for the Geriatric Care Manager Assocation) and read through the information carefully. On it, you can also find a database of Care Managers in different states.
Home || Aging Life Care Association
Hugs to you! Your mother is lucky to have you in her corner. I know you may not feel this way, but it sounds to me like you are doing a very good job trying to help her and dealing with a very stressful situation. Best wishes!
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