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What would you be "saving" him FOR? A miserable existence in a nursing home? Let the poor man live at home in peace -- for however long he lives. Quality; not quantity. And I hope this isn't about the money.
What money? The house is half his and half mine. I'd realize my half if he went into nursing home permanently. Money isn't playing into anything for me or anyone in my family. I support his right to the home for as long as he can use it. I encourage him to hire some help so he can stay in it. I encourage him to get an advocate every-time they say Medicare won't pay so he can save his money. I've tried to help him find a 'tenant' who would help him out in exchange for a room.
I wasn't under the impression that the OP didn't want him to be at home. I think she was trying to make sure he didn't make a decision that would cause him to owe a ton of money unknowingly.
Won't empty his own port-a-potty but he says "home health is worthless".
SURE! Because the taxpayers are expected to foot his bills. Waste firefighters time and money so he can live in an imaginary world.
The only person with any sense in this story is " the most able-bodied person who is the most willing and able to assist him is not on his side in this endeavor".
But she can't do what she wants. She can't get him declared incompetent and force him into a nursing home. She wastes a lot of energy and time on this endeavor that is going nowhere. What is the sense in that?
Won't empty his own port-a-potty but he says "home health is worthless".
SURE! Because the taxpayers are expected to foot his bills. Waste firefighters time and money so he can live in an imaginary world.
The only person with any sense in this story is " the most able-bodied person who is the most willing and able to assist him is not on his side in this endeavor".
He does when he can. Sometimes he can't. There is a condition called TN - Trigeminal Neuralgia that he has in his mouth that the pain meds for really weaken him.
Today he is having a procedure that aims to zap that.
Regarding home health I was asking him to accept Medicare PT and OT that is what he said is worthless. They won't come to just empty potties or whatever but my understanding is that they will do some things like that IF the person needs and is getting PT and OT.
Hiring Home Health - it's impossible to hire people to be there just when he has a BM, since they can't be forecasted.
I do think he needs to hire someone at least twice a week but I can't make him. He does hire a housekeeper every two weeks.
Disabled people are not FORCIBLY INSTITUTIONALIZED AGAINST THEIR WILL.
We stopped doing that almost 50 years ago!
If you are Mentally INCOMPETENT, you can be held like a prisoner wherever your guardian decides. Which, personally I think would be horrendous and why the state sets a high bar on cases of guardianship/incompetency hearings.
If you are a double amuptee non-ambulatory torso and you are *MENTALLY COMPETENT* and you decide you would rather drag yourself down the sidewalk and live under a bridge NO ONE CAN FORCE YOU INTO A FACILITY.
It's called RIGHTS. The disabled, whether elderly or due to chronic disease or birth defect still have them, unless of course they are determined to be mentally incompetent, in which case who ever is appointed makes decisions for them.
Yup. It really doesn't matter what I or my Aunt thinks about it. This is the reality. There are two choices. Help him the way he wants or don't, but there is no third.
"I'd realize my half if he went into nursing home permanently."
I don't understand that statement.
Sigh. Twice, I've been accused of wanting my brother to stay in the home to protect my half of the house. Or people think I would inherit the whole thing. Something. I was explaining that the opposite is true.
If I was some sort of psycho and based my decisions on how to help my brother based on what is good for me financially I'd be on the train of him spending down and going into nursing care permanently. Because then the house would have to be sold and I'd get my half of it.
But I am not a psycho who makes decisions like that based on how I might profit. My mother's intention was for him to have use of the house for as long as he can stay in it and then for it to go to me.
But I don't sit around waiting for people to die for inheritance or shove people in nursing homes for inheritance.
Sigh. Twice, I've been accused of wanting my brother to stay in the home to protect my half of the house. Or people think I would inherit the whole thing. Something. I was explaining that the opposite is true.
If I was some sort of psycho and based my decisions on how to help my brother based on what is good for me financially I'd be on the train of him spending down and going into nursing care permanently. Because then the house would have to be sold and I'd get my half of it.
But I am not a psycho who makes decisions like that based on how I might profit. My mother's intention was for him to have use of the house for as long as he can stay in it and then for it to go to me.
But I don't sit around waiting for people to die for inheritance or shove people in nursing homes for inheritance.
Jen, if you get the chance, you may want to speak to an attorney regarding this. Usually when someone holds an irrevocable life estate it cannot be sold or transferred without the consent of the estate holder. IOW, it is likely your father has an irrevocable life estate and cannot be forced to sell his life estate regardless of your brother's need for care. The key is whether your father's life estate is irrevocable.
Jen, if you get the chance, you may want to speak to an attorney regarding this. Usually when someone holds an irrevocable life estate it cannot be sold or transferred without the consent of the estate holder. IOW, it is likely your father has an irrevocable life estate and cannot be forced to sell his life estate regardless of your brother's need for care. The key is whether your father's life estate is irrevocable.
My father has no interest in the home. He was divorced from my mother. And he is an attorney.
Jen, if you get the chance, you may want to speak to an attorney regarding this. Usually when someone holds an irrevocable life estate it cannot be sold or transferred without the consent of the estate holder. IOW, it is likely your father has an irrevocable life estate and cannot be forced to sell his life estate regardless of your brother's need for care. The key is whether your father's life estate is irrevocable.
The life estate is for my brother so he has use of the house for as long as he lives/can stay in the home.
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